[luxinterior]

I don't want this thread to turn into a self-esteem booster for anyone, I was just thinking of this in light of my final project in painting class, which is supposed to be a self-portrait.

I'm okay with the way I look, mostly because I don't usually attract good or bad attention based on my appearance. I think of myself as kind of a blank slate.

There aren't any guidelines for this self-portrait other than that it has to be a certain size, but we are supposed to at least think about how we see ourselves and how other people see us (it terms of both appearance and personality).

A lot of people in class are working their likes/interests into their painting, but I don't want to do that. I don't want it to be about music or movies or books that I like. That's crap.

The only ideas I've had so far include a caricature, or something that involves my cat. I don't think my features would lend themselves well to a caricature though. And I've never painted an animal before.

I am not looking forward to beginning this project.

So if you could, Please share your thoughts on your own appearance and the way you perceive yourself as well as the way others perceive you (the way you want to be perceived, and the way things are in reality). Stick mainly to appearance rather than personality, as I've had enough of those threads where everyone is describing their personalities.

Also I'm not really asking anyone for advice on my painting. I just want to see how everyone answers the questions I've asked, because I want to know how you all think. And hopefully that alone will help me with my painting rather than any direct advice I could get.

[SynthethicalY]

Edit- My mind is out, let me think.

[cryptowonderdruginvogue]

i thought she said appearance, not personality...?

[!@#$%!]

i like myself. im not a pretty boy. i have a couple of scars. i have a strong nose. my teeth aren't bright-white. i would make a terrible-looking girl.

recently, i've taken to cut my hair with a clipper, the shortest possible-- mainly because i can't get a decent haircut in this town. so i guess im a little vain, in the sense that i do not want to have a dorky haircut. the tibetan monk look fits me i think. the wife prefers me with long hair but she doesn't mind the current look. i think i'll grow it back in the fall as the weather cools again.

how do i want to be perceived? hm... no idea. i do wear decent clothes when going out in the street-- no sneakers, no sweatpants, shit like that. it's more to do with my upbringing than with any conscious "wish" to be seen a certain way. kinda like table manners. i hate wearing conspicuous clothes, dirty clothes, broken clothes. i prefer understatement.

(im not sure if by "appearance" you were asking about clothing but i only walk around naked at home and people in the street don't see that).

is this what you were asking? does that help in any way? i'm curious about why you asked us.

[SynthethicalY]

I have a pretty boy's face, that doesn't age. I am obssesed with my own weight, mostly because I think I am way too skinny, it is the opposite. I am short and this bugs me to death. I like to cut my hair every two months. I dislike my fingers they are crooked. But somewhere along time I found out to be comfortable with everything.

[Alex's Trip]

I don't know if I like the way I look. Sometimes I feel good about it, and others not so much.

As for a self portrait, I'd probably figure out some kind of personality problem that I have and incoporate it into the painting somehow. I think those personality problems define who a lot of us are, and are what make us interesting.

[RdTv]

I can't begin to organize my thoughts on this subject, too diverse.

[luxinterior]

I'm really just hoping that something written in this thread will make me say "A-ha!" This being our final project, it's probably the biggest of all of our projects and is supposed to represent our growth during the semester. So I really have to make it good, and I don't want it to be gimmicky if I can help it. I don't want it to be too literal, but I'm also not interested in completely removing myself from the painting (in whatever way).

Also, even though I've met none of you in real life, the individual personalities that come through on this board are very distinctive. I want to see how that translates to appearances, and how each of you functions daily in terms of appearance, while dealing with your own perception of yourself and others' perceptions of you. How you want to be seen vs. how you really are seen, and how you try to exert control over outside opinions. It's something that I have to think about no matter what I'm painting, but for this assignment it's a bit more important, and I don't want to screw it up. When I paint, I always seem to want people to see what I see, but I know that's really not possible, and that each person is going to see what they want to see. My question then is "What do you see?" You can even talk about how you see other people, if you want.

[cryptowonderdruginvogue]

in response to your answer:

i really like the way i look.
i'm not a beautiful or gorgeous person, but I enjoy my features.
i really like my small nose, small mouth, full/red lips, and my eyebrows.
i also like my skin a whole lot because its very clear.
My teeth are great, they are not pearly white but thats nothing that cant be fixed. The 2 middle-bottom teeth are a BIT crooked, which i used to hate so much (i almost got braces to fix it, but the dentist said it wouldnt be worth the hassle), but over time i started to enjoy the way they looked.
i'm overweight, but not a complete fatass, i try to eat healthy and ive started working out for the first time in years (i quit playing sports and started smoking too much pot 9th grade)
i love clothes(designer whore) and I really like the stuff i wear.
salvatore ferragamo, paul smith, varvatos, cavalli, dolce, random shit from barneys, etc.etc.etc
love it love it.
clothing, to me, is very important.
maybe thats shallow
if you're a rotten human being though, you're still a rotten human being (example: paris hilton and all those hollywood douchebags)

how do i want to be perceived?
well... i want to be perceived however the other person perceives me
i am who i am
and thats how i want to be seen
as the person that i am

edit: oh and i really like my hair too.
sometimes insecurity creeps in, but its quickly overshadowed/overpowered by my extrovert personality.
i am very confident and outgoing.
all the parents love me and everyone wants to be my friend.
theres way too much of everything/everyone going on in my life which is why i spend most of my free time from everyone on the computer
where i can just... be with myself and listen to music without having to deal with other people.
i deal with way too many people.
not in a bad way either, just, i dont get any me time.


edit #2: wow, i sound like a fucking prick. oh well. thats how i really feel.


edit #3: i dont want to follow any of "the rules", you know? i have my own agenda.

[atari 2600]

How do you feel about the way you look?

 

It's better to look good than to feel good.

[davenotdead]

[IMG]

 

[/IMG]

im frank zappa's son, so thats cool

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by luxinterior

My question then is "What do you see?" You can even talk about how you see other people, if you want.

oh. what do i see when i see myself?

i see only the mirror image of myself. this confuses me endlessly.

i see my face more like a geological formation than a "face", i mean i do not perceive it as something that should be but as something that is-- shapes, volumes, textures, colors. i'm not explaining this very well. i do recognize myself in the mirror. i suppose the focus is around the eyes. i look like... how do i look like. to paraphrase pussy galore, i look like a jew. when i was in israel people didn't believe i didn't speak hebrew. true story. my family is catholic but i have ancestors who were moroccan jews. i suppose i see a little bit of history in my face. i see also the faces of my grandparents, little chunks, here and there. it's funny because my face is not really mine. now maybe i ws lying when i said that my face is just shapes and volumes-- there's a whole story in it like the story of my eyebrow scar from a car crash. or when i broke my lip when i was 5 (fell on the garage door). i look like a glutton too: i have a small forehead (a lot of hair really) and the part where all the face hoses are is bigger (mouth, nose). if this was not a public exercise i would write differently i suppose. but im going to stop there.

[cryptowonderdruginvogue]

... but i dont want a portrait of myself to show any of that really. i want it to show whats inside. you know? i would use a lot of warm colors...

heres how i saw myself on lsd:

 

[cryptowonderdruginvogue]

i hope i was of some help.

[SynthethicalY]

Crypto did you do that? That is awesome.

[cryptowonderdruginvogue]

yesss
i feel like thats the prettiest i'll ever look
a lot of it has to do with the experience, i guess
the fact that i "felt" that way about myself on acid just brings a tear to my eye

[val-holla-ing]

i've always had height and weight issues. i feel short and fat, but people say the opposite. i suppose it has to do with years and years of being the pudgy kid in school.

i think i dress well, though.

[luxinterior]

There are a lot of people who I think are better looking than me, but I wouldn't want to look like them.

I think my hair has a nice color, thickness, and texture, though humidity is still a bitch. I like the way my bottom teeth are crooked even after braces (twice). I used to hate my ears, I thought they stuck out, and now I wonder what I was thinking back then because my ears are fine. My nose confuses me because I'm the only one in my immediate family with a nose that looks like mine. My mouth and lips are big, so they make the bottom half of my face look heavier than the top. My eyes make me look perpetually stoned. It's a familiar face, and I'd hesitate to change anything about it.

I think a person's appearance and how it changes over time has a huge effect on the individual's personality. In another thread I talked about how when I was younger I was often mistaken for a boy. This has made a tremendous impact on how I see myself. Today no matter what I look like, or what I'm wearing, I never actually feel feminine. I'm very unaware of being a girl, and by that I mean I'm often caught off-guard in situations where my gender becomes an issue. I hold open doors for both men and women, of all ages, and this usually makes the men feel uncomfortable, but still every time I instinctively hold the door open no matter who it's for. At work there have been times when heavy lifting has been necessary, and I would be over there helping some other employees move heavy boxes around, until one of the ladies I work with would tell me to stop and let the men take care of it. These sort of things make me snap back into reality, like taking a step back from what's going on and seeing everything as it really is. Then of course I notice that it really was me and a bunch of guys moving boxes, and none of the ladies were helping, which I hadn't noticed before.

That's why the idea of doing a self-portrait really puts me off. Because then it becomes girl, brown hair, big mouth, etc, and that's only what I see in a mirror. When I'm out and about I don't think of any of it.

[ALIEN ANAL]

i dont even know where to start
Me and my friend call our selves "shitty shit shits"
Im very skinny, i feel like i look like i have aids or something, i am very pale, i get pimples on my chin which piss me off, when ever i leave the house feeling confident about my self i usualy catch a glimpse in the car and then just feel shit. Im wayyy to self conscious that i think its going to far. Constantly paranoid that my skin is dry and flaking somewhere, or that my pimples will be bright red. I dont like standing close to people or looking at them because i dont want them to look at me..im such a dweeb haha

Thats me

[luxinterior]

Originally Posted by cryptowonderdruginvogue

yesss
i feel like thats the prettiest i'll ever look
a lot of it has to do with the experience, i guess
the fact that i "felt" that way about myself on acid just brings a tear to my eye

That's wonderful. That's a lot of help.