12.10.2006, 01:16 PM | #1 |
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I've told you about that exam I am taking. It's on Wednesday and Thursday.
I've noticed during last week that I've had like this different three hundred emotional feelings. Needless to say that I usually get those kind of feelings when I go to bed knowing I have something to do during the following days. It's weird, but I don't feel like that when I am completely free on holidays. My real holidays would be starting right after I take the Speaking test on Thursday's afternoon, and I think I'll keep on feeling like shit until that moment comes. I hate it. The thing is that on Tuesday I felt bad; Headaches, couldn't sleep at all, etc. That same Tuesday I spoke with a girl from my english course who's taking the exam too. She goes to University and has ten thousand of other exams to take, so that is why she is not really nervous about that stupid english exam. I was not nervous about the one from last year because I felt I could manage that level well, and pass it without much trouble, but this year's level is much more complex and that makes me feel like shit. On Wednesday I felt I was over it and slept well, and such. The same happened on Thursday. But on Friday's night I started feeling bad again...I went to bed quite early and slept till late on Saturday. But still wanted to keep on sleeping, so after lunch I went to bed for a siesta. I might have been sleeping for about 5 hours more until my parents woke me up to go for a walk. Even while taking the walk I felt like sleeping, and that my head was about to explode, so that got me in a really nasty mood. I didn't want anything, didn't speak to anyone, didn't say "yes" to anything I would usually say "yes" to ( I even said "no" to purchasing a Camera Obscura album I really want .) So I got home and a friend had to come up with the fucking exam topic online... that's when I started crying because I felt so sick and tired... My father came to say something "funny" about King Crimson and my dog and bleh, and started asking why I was crying so I told him it was because of my headache. blah blah blah, after dinner he told me to go for another walk. I said yes but it didn't make any difference. I still felt like shit when I came back. I went to bed with a terrible headache again, and woke up OK today, even though it's aching again ( I guess I need a little nap .) But I don't know what's up with my head anymore. I can be horrible today, OK tomorrow, fucked up tomorrow night, OK, fucked, sleepy, horrible altogether. |
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12.10.2006, 01:51 PM | #2 |
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Life is very depressing at times (often most of the time), you just have to learn to find your own way of dealing with it...Stress is strange as it can just creep up on you. I don't know how old you are, but in my experience (and I'm 30), it just gets worse and worse. The key is to learn to chill out, take time out, and most importantly, find someone you trust and you can tell how you feel. The worse thing is bottling your feelings up, because sooner or later, they will erupt.
I was super stressed about four years ago, and only recently it has caught up with me. I was trying to work through my stresses, but this proved pointless. The sooner you address your problems, the better. This of course is just my opinion.
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12.10.2006, 02:41 PM | #3 |
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Too much party, not enough Jesus.
I will treat you to this equation: You + Party - Jesus = This Thread Now, as an equation, you should be more like this: You + Party + Jesus - Party (4 x 7 - Mountain Dew) = Headaches, new thread about Jesus, strange life-affirming feeling when you wake up. Possible side effects include righteousness, delicatesticles, and unbearable heart-wrenching loneliness. Seriously, though- I am not the one to help. I wish I could, because you're one of the best members this forum has, but alas, I am dead inside. Feel better soon, 'eh? |
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12.10.2006, 03:05 PM | #4 |
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One little bit of advice: Better living through chemistry.
Sounds like you might be a good candidate for anti-depressants or anti-anxieity meds like Zoloft or Paxil. See your doctor. Seriously, these meds can make a world of difference.
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12.10.2006, 04:03 PM | #5 | |
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Thank you I think I really am stressed. I've recently finished High School but it happens to me every summer break that December (as it is the first month off school) I feel devastated. REAAAALLY tired. I sleep probably more than half the day everyday. Then in January I can stay up till very late because I've slept it all during December... And I know it'll get reaaaaaaally though, so I am quite concerned about what's going to happen with me when I get to college in a couple of months. I'll have to drop out for my own mental sanity or something... |
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12.11.2006, 10:58 AM | #6 | |
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Just out of curiousity I have to ask you if you eat a lot of sugar, soda, and/or white-flour based foods. Your sleeping habits remind me of when I was young (way back in the 20th Century) and ate way too much sugar. I'd sleep 12 hours without even trying. It is not surprising your emotions are going so wild, your body is still growing and producing tons of neurochemicals and you're at a historical moment in your life. Its not something you can really control you have to surf through it. And I'm sure you're more sensitive than the average person. Its kind of the curse of many creative people. You might try to get more exercise every day, too. But try to eat green and living food. Soda is liquid death. You can remind yoruself as a straight edge perosn once told me "the feeling will pass'. Meds are a last resort. They screw up your brain chemistry which may or may not have positive results. I hate Sunday nite. I often can't get to sleep easily because I slept late Sun am and then I wake up at 5 am wide awake dismayed that I have to get up and go to work in a few hours. Last night I actually got a solid 8 hours. amazing. |
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12.11.2006, 12:04 PM | #7 | |
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hey contre sorry to hear. whereas i am mostly a slacker in real life, i'm an ace when it comes to test exams and all manner of crap. the reason i can do that is because I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT, in other words, i'll study hard, even be a little nervous, etc, but my main thought when i take big exams is IM GLAD THIS CRAP IS OVER CAN I GO TO THE BEACH NOW? give yourself a break, a little-- a little stress improves performance but too much stress will fuck you up. get a good sleep, a decent breakfast, and try to have fun. if this doesn't work maybe you need to be TOTALLY depressed so you can hit bottom & discover something. if that is the case, i suggest you read hermann hesse's "beneath the wheel" or as you'll find in an alianza editorial title "bajo las ruedas". it's about this kid who all he does is studies and then he cracks up. anyway don't worry much you are VERY smart and exams are overrated. seriously. |
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12.11.2006, 12:55 PM | #8 |
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Emotionally fucked people tend to go to chat rooms to ask for advice on emotional problems. That's one sure sign.
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12.11.2006, 01:01 PM | #9 | |
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don't mess with the contre, or i'll crack your head |
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12.11.2006, 01:04 PM | #10 | |
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This Brings me back to Elementary, Middle, and High School. What Fond Memories.
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12.13.2006, 07:05 PM | #11 | |
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hahahahaha Well, I just thought it would be a good idea to express my feelings since I couldn't say any of that to my parents because they would think of me as one real asshole. To tell you the truth, after that couple of hours of being crying and feeling like shit, I kind of started feeling optimistic about everything. And now most parts of the exams have been taken! Writing, English in Use and Reading. It was a pretty exhausting day but it happened quite quickly. And I don't even know how I did. Not too bad, I hope. The thing is that people often get this wrong image of what I really am. They see me and think: Ok, she doesn't give shit about anything but her albums and whatever belongs to herself. They see me as a very straightforward person who gets mad quite easily and the last thing they would think is that I cry over people or over situations or over insecurities or things like that.... I consider myself to be emotional but I feel that I don't have the opportunity to show my emotions in such a free way in this place since people have always seen me as a rude asshole who has never had feelings towards anything or anyone. |
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12.13.2006, 07:06 PM | #12 |
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i had a panic attack this morning. i'm pretty sure i'm fucked.
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12.13.2006, 07:09 PM | #13 |
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why did you had a panic attack?
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12.13.2006, 07:13 PM | #14 |
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major, major levels of stress.
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12.13.2006, 07:13 PM | #15 | |
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12.13.2006, 07:19 PM | #16 | |
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12.13.2006, 07:19 PM | #17 | |
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Quote:
I've been going through relatively the same thing. I'm applying to an Arts Highschool, and my application is due at the end of this month. If I get it in it'll make it 100x easier to get into well-respected colleges, I'll be more liable for scholarships, I can move out of this shit ass town, and I've heard that the school is amazing. Although its not an exam its fairly obvious that a brighter future lies ahead for me if I get in. Which is much like getting a good score on a final. I've been getting migraines as well, sleep comes to me rarely, and my mood has dramatically changed in the last week (generally happy to a little cry baby). I'm empathetic towards you and I'm glad that you're feeling better =] |
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12.13.2006, 07:58 PM | #18 | |
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you won't feel any change until you are nead the deadline and see that you have everything more or less under control. sometimes I would like to just don't give a shit about anything. I've already talked about this a friend from school some years ago. She agreed with me in this. She said she wished she didn't give two shits about some things. At the same time we are both glad we are caring about almost everything what's under our responsability. You hate it because it makes you feel bad even though it shouldn't but there's no way you can control that because it's all internal and weird and uncontrollable even if you have 3 hundred people telling you: You'll do fine! or : It'll be ok! You'll pass! You'll be accepted! or whatever... |
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12.13.2006, 08:22 PM | #19 | |
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bleh., there are lots of people having panic attacks. I am not sure what they are about. |
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12.13.2006, 08:23 PM | #20 |
the destroyed room
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Yeah... life sucks.
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