Some golden rules if you are thinking of forming a band

porkmarras · 07.24.2006, 03:25 PM

Ok,this is just my arrogant,full of myself opinion so i'm not asking you to agree with me and all that but this is what i generally happen to like in bands and i happened to turn them into rules.Just because i can(an owl whispered that into in my ear today):

-If you play onstage don't wear another band's tshirt where it's possible,the risks being that you cheapen the image of your band when(and if it does)it appears on one.
-Avoid gospel choirs as they damage your sound and should only be appreciated inside a beautiful church.
-Whenever you can,try avoiding referencing your influences on the titles of your songs because,as the first rule said,it cheapens the music (if it's not already cheap to start with).This sort of thing rarely works and it subtratcs strength from the song rather than adding to it.
-Ecclectism works rarely in music if there isn't a vision to keep those styles fused subtely together.Or in harmony,so to speak.
Let me think of some more.......

porkmarras · 07.24.2006, 03:27 PM

Do pay attention to the sleeves for fuck's sake!They are there to stay so don't go for the graphic fads du jour but for something that will last the test of time.

Cantankerous · 07.24.2006, 03:33 PM

If you can't play, forget it.

porkmarras · 07.24.2006, 03:34 PM

-If you can't play make sure that you have the talent TO MAKE IT WORK!

Savage Clone · 07.24.2006, 03:34 PM

No shorts onstage!
Do NOT talk to the audience. Then they will know you are a moron.

Cantankerous · 07.24.2006, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porkmarras

-If you can't play make sure that you have the talent TO MAKE IT WORK!

And if you don't, go fuck a pig, pigfucker.

porkmarras · 07.24.2006, 03:36 PM

-The only band that was vaguely allowed shorts onstage was Husker du and that's because there isn't such a thing as democracy.Sorry.

Cantankerous · 07.24.2006, 03:37 PM

If one of your influences is Frank Zappa, go away.

Trasher02 · 07.24.2006, 03:39 PM

Another golden rule, If you're in a cover-band make sure you don't play to many different genres. So when you played some SY cover or whatever don't start playing GUNZ N FRIKKIN ROSES or something like that and after that a smashing pumpkins cover... Something you probably figured out yrself. but seriously don't ever do it, stick to a genre.

porkmarras · 07.24.2006, 03:39 PM

-If one of your influences is Frank Zappa,be incredibly careful.Apparently there is a rare strain of a lethal virus called Zappopolus Fillus that strikes young bands that way inclined.Just a warning.

porkmarras · 07.24.2006, 03:42 PM

-repetition is golden even more than noise.

soniknirve · 07.24.2006, 03:42 PM

always bring protection. you never know where those green-haired groupies have been...

Trasher02 · 07.24.2006, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soniknirve

always bring protection. you never know where those green-haired groupies have been...

lol.

Cantankerous · 07.24.2006, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soniknirve

always bring protection. you never know where those green-haired groupies have been...

i'm the one in the band, dork.

porkmarras · 07.24.2006, 03:51 PM

-Do have older musicians in the band if possible.They are easier to deal with and they get free public transport when they are over 65.

kingcoffee · 07.24.2006, 03:52 PM

Never fuck the drummer.

Savage Clone · 07.24.2006, 03:53 PM

Older musicians also know how to play better a lot of the time. And they show up for practice.

porkmarras · 07.24.2006, 03:55 PM

-Indeed.And they look cooler because they don't give a toss about looking cool or trying to obscenely please an audience.

HaydenAsche · 07.24.2006, 03:57 PM

-Learn how to give good head if you want to succeed.

Daddylikes · 07.24.2006, 03:58 PM

If you kick Canstankerass in the head when you're plowing her sweet ass, it causes her butthole to clench up giving you a hotter orgasm.

07.24.2006, 03:25 PM	#1
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	Ok,this is just my arrogant,full of myself opinion so i'm not asking you to agree with me and all that but this is what i generally happen to like in bands and i happened to turn them into rules.Just because i can(an owl whispered that into in my ear today): -If you play onstage don't wear another band's tshirt where it's possible,the risks being that you cheapen the image of your band when(and if it does)it appears on one. -Avoid gospel choirs as they damage your sound and should only be appreciated inside a beautiful church. -Whenever you can,try avoiding referencing your influences on the titles of your songs because,as the first rule said,it cheapens the music (if it's not already cheap to start with).This sort of thing rarely works and it subtratcs strength from the song rather than adding to it. -Ecclectism works rarely in music if there isn't a vision to keep those styles fused subtely together.Or in harmony,so to speak. Let me think of some more....... __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:27 PM	#2
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	Do pay attention to the sleeves for fuck's sake!They are there to stay so don't go for the graphic fads du jour but for something that will last the test of time. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:33 PM	#3
Cantankerous invito al cielo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A RETIREMENT HOME Posts: 18,499	If you can't play, forget it. __________________ RETIRED
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:34 PM	#4
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	-If you can't play make sure that you have the talent TO MAKE IT WORK! __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:34 PM	#5
Savage Clone invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 11,290	No shorts onstage! Do NOT talk to the audience. Then they will know you are a moron.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:36 PM	#7
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	-The only band that was vaguely allowed shorts onstage was Husker du and that's because there isn't such a thing as democracy.Sorry. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:37 PM	#8
Cantankerous invito al cielo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A RETIREMENT HOME Posts: 18,499	If one of your influences is Frank Zappa, go away. __________________ RETIRED
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:39 PM	#9
Trasher02 invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 6,356	Another golden rule, If you're in a cover-band make sure you don't play to many different genres. So when you played some SY cover or whatever don't start playing GUNZ N FRIKKIN ROSES or something like that and after that a smashing pumpkins cover... Something you probably figured out yrself. but seriously don't ever do it, stick to a genre. __________________ 666
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:42 PM	#11
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	-*repetition* is golden even more than noise. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:42 PM	#12
soniknirve the destroyed room Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 686	always bring protection. you never know where those green-haired groupies have been...
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:51 PM	#15
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	-Do have older musicians in the band if possible.They are easier to deal with and they get free public transport when they are over 65. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:52 PM	#16
kingcoffee expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,510	Never fuck the drummer. __________________ "No way, man! Cuz dyin' would be a stone groove! Got any messages for Jimi Hendrix?" "Yes. Pick up your puppy."
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:53 PM	#17
Savage Clone invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 11,290	Older musicians also know how to play better a lot of the time. And they show up for practice.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:55 PM	#18
porkmarras invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London - UK Posts: 14,313	-Indeed.And they look cooler because they don't give a toss about looking cool or trying to obscenely please an audience. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:57 PM	#19
HaydenAsche invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 10,755	-Learn how to give good head if you want to succeed. __________________ rip
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.24.2006, 03:58 PM	#20
Daddylikes the end of the ugly Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Gnome, Alaska Posts: 929	If you kick Canstankerass in the head when you're plowing her sweet ass, it causes her butthole to clench up giving you a hotter orgasm.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|