so, my girlfriend shoved her finger in my butt the other day... - Page 5

tesla69 · 02.27.2007, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Washing Machine

How did such a wholesome topic as anal sex get on to this?...

yeah we went from anal pleasure to urethral agony...I did read some alleged true sex thing about some perv guy who liked to have his urethra penetrated - he used it like a tiny vagina.

Keep hoping, pal! HA!

Everyneurotic · 02.27.2007, 06:33 PM

how did i miss this thread?!!!!

1) i'm happy that adam applies experimentation as his lifestyle

2) kegma is the sesame street of the perv sex threads, you can always count on her giving a lesson in an entertaining way at the end of the day.

3) a good prog song good? listen to 21th century schizoid man or roundabout and you be the judge.

Inhuman · 02.27.2007, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

have you ever gone to pee after urethra surgery and had what felt like the world's thickest biggest coagulated blood phlegm loogie get pushed out of your penis by the wall of urine waiting to be released? HOLY FUCK that is the single weirdest horrible feeling I have ever had. it looked worse than it felt tooo, sinking hard to the bottom of the toilet.

THIS IS THE REAL WORLD PEOPLE
NOTHING'S EASY
NOTHING'S FREE

Awww I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. For me it just BURNED. And I had to go so bad for 3 hours straight, and every time I tried, pure burning. I couldn't walk straight either. There were these older men (which I assume were the 'regulars') by me at the hospital watching me when I was teary eyed and crouched over and they were laughing.

Washing Machine · 02.27.2007, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tesla69

I did read some alleged true sex thing about some perv guy who liked to have his urethra penetrated - he used it like a tiny vagina.

Keep hoping, pal! HA!

He would be very well matched to have sex with a man with a very small penis then...

Danny Himself · 02.27.2007, 07:00 PM

It wouldn't have to be small. Just thin.

Inhuman · 02.27.2007, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Danny Himself

It wouldn't have to be small. Just thin.

and if it was long enough, it might even tickle his bladder...like shoving a raw spaghetti noodle up.

Washing Machine · 02.27.2007, 07:03 PM

A dick so small you need a straw just to give him a blowjob......

Inhuman · 02.27.2007, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Washing Machine

A dick so small you need a straw just to give him a blowjob......

hahaha. I once had a girlfriend who too "Blowjob" for real. I'm talking "BLOW JOB". She just...tried to... blow. No moving or anything. It was unpleasant indeed.

Danny Himself · 02.27.2007, 07:06 PM

Haha. He could fuck wrinkles.

Washing Machine · 02.27.2007, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inhuman

hahaha. I once had a girlfriend who too "Blowjob" for real. I'm talking "BLOW JOB". She just...tried to... blow. No moving or anything. It was unpleasant indeed.

Hahaha
Thats what happens when you get Sex Education from a clown

Washing Machine · 02.27.2007, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Danny Himself

Haha. He could fuck wrinkles.

Yeah I forgot to add, his penis is more of nipple really....hes needs twezzers to masturbate....although he would be so lucky, He also has the longest pubes in the world.....poor bastard trips over them everywhere he goes

jimbrim · 02.28.2007, 08:05 AM

why am i reading this whilst eating my lunch?

Inhuman · 02.28.2007, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kegmama

^ Damn, that is one of the most sad, funny and pathetic things I have read on this board in a long time... And on THIS board I have read A LOT of sad, funny and pathetic things.

You sat through it though? Didn't say anything?

hahaha, I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be rude, so I just stopped her

Rob Instigator · 02.28.2007, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inhuman

Awww I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. For me it just BURNED. And I had to go so bad for 3 hours straight, and every time I tried, pure burning. I couldn't walk straight either. There were these older men (which I assume were the 'regulars') by me at the hospital watching me when I was teary eyed and crouched over and they were laughing.

fuckheads.

SynthethicalY · 02.28.2007, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swa(y)

butt sex is pretty damned nice. esp. for dudes...

i try and pretned i dont like it near the ammount i actually do.

some girls say they love it...80 percent of them are lying...simply cause they know lotsa dudes wanna here it.

ive only dated one girl that actually could get off from it...

and the most logical thing reason ive actually heard as to why some girls like it is because they can feel the actual length of the dude better.

and as far as being fingered....well...it certainly makes everthing much more intense. ill cum like wayyyy fcuking harder.

theres my personl info for the day.

Well said.

Confucious is sex · 02.28.2007, 11:41 AM

Girls who don't get off on bum sex are merely afraid of cystitis, which hurts like hell. Keep trying, if she loves you, she'll let your aphid into her rosebud.

ps something harmonious about assholes posting on a thread about assholes, and also, a little self involved

Rob Instigator · 02.28.2007, 12:23 PM

mine is too thick. noone wants to try
ex-wife said NO!
current g/f says NO!

le da miedo la carne gorda

no tengo lengusta · 03.02.2007, 01:10 AM

plastcic monkey dolls from japan who speak spanish?

Cantankerous · 03.02.2007, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

have you ever gone to pee after urethra surgery and had what felt like the world's thickest biggest coagulated blood phlegm loogie get pushed out of your penis by the wall of urine waiting to be released? HOLY FUCK that is the single weirdest horrible feeling I have ever had. it looked worse than it felt tooo, sinking hard to the bottom of the toilet.

THIS IS THE REAL WORLD PEOPLE
NOTHING'S EASY
NOTHING'S FREE

that had to be kind of satisfying though, (not sexually of course) like blowing a huge snot rocket out of your nose. i do that in the shower; the steam loosens up all the snot and whatever other unreachable nasty green shit collects in my nasal cavities.

!@#$%! · 03.02.2007, 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

le da miedo la carne gorda

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

priceless.

============

well it seems i missed the whole thread.

i just want to chime in to say: no need to stick the whole schlong in it-- a little well-lubed finger (drool works) will do wonders for the flower of her secret (just keep those fingernails short & free of sharp edges).

02.27.2007, 06:33 PM	#82
Everyneurotic invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mexico Posts: 15,713	how did i miss this thread?!!!! 1) i'm happy that adam applies experimentation as his lifestyle 2) kegma is the sesame street of the perv sex threads, you can always count on her giving a lesson in an entertaining way at the end of the day. 3) a good prog song good? listen to 21th century schizoid man or roundabout and you be the judge. __________________ Richard Clayderman found alive and still bland! Repo Man has all night! Photographic evidence of Monosodic's existance! New Kiddieriot shit after all! Never too late to share fave rex from the year before! David Keenan is a douchebag! Ron Asheton missed!
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02.27.2007, 07:00 PM	#85
Danny Himself invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 9,623	It wouldn't have to be small. Just thin.
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02.27.2007, 07:03 PM	#87
Washing Machine expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Cardiff, Spiderland Posts: 1,465	A dick so small you need a straw just to give him a blowjob...... __________________ ....Of Course its some kinda cosmic payback for being too ironic!
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02.27.2007, 07:06 PM	#89
Danny Himself invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 9,623	Haha. He could fuck wrinkles.
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02.28.2007, 08:05 AM	#92
jimbrim expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: UK Posts: 1,308	why am i reading this whilst eating my lunch?
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02.28.2007, 11:41 AM	#96
Confucious is sex bad moon rising Join Date: May 2006 Location: Shoreditch, London, UK Posts: 183	Girls who don't get off on bum sex are merely afraid of cystitis, which hurts like hell. Keep trying, if she loves you, she'll let your aphid into her rosebud. ps something harmonious about assholes posting on a thread about assholes, and also, a little self involved __________________ If you lick someone in the ear does it get spelt 'aural' or 'oral'?
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02.28.2007, 12:23 PM	#97
Rob Instigator invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In the land of the Instigator Posts: 27,975	mine is too thick. noone wants to try ex-wife said NO! current g/f says NO! le da miedo la carne gorda __________________ RXTT's Intellectual Journey - my new blog where I talk about all the books I read.
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03.02.2007, 01:10 AM	#98
no tengo lengusta empty page Join Date: May 2006 Location: texas..oak cliff that is Posts: 5	plastcic monkey dolls from japan who speak spanish?
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