[Cantankerous]

wtf are club drugs? like x and speed? is that it? i don't do that shit.

physically i started feeling REALLY shit today when i woke up. i thought my brain was going to fall out my nose.

[This Is Not Here]

Yeah, drugs to take in clubs basically, Es and Speed, Base, MDMA, also ketamine and cocaine, to a lesser extent. Well, beyond talk of shrinks and psychologists, it sounds like you need a good old fashioned doctor. Just because your experiencing this pain whilst in a depression which you beleive can't be helped, don't neccesarily group it in as related to the depression, its quite possibly a seperate problem alltogether.

[Toilet & Bowels]

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

i'm too weak physically to exercise anyway

tai chi, it will change your life it you take the time to do it properly and learn from a proper teacher, i.e. not a new age version of tai chi.

[Cantankerous]

the physical pain can certainly be helped. matter of fact i'm tired of feeling this shit and i am going to do something about it.
the depression will go away on its own eventually, it always does. i have bad spells.

Originally Posted by Toilet & Bowels

tai chi, it will change your life it you take the time to do it properly and learn from a proper teacher, i.e. not a new age version of tai chi.

that's probably the best advice in this thread
i'm a weakling so i will look into that. just as long as you promise it won't build muscle.

[max]

Originally Posted by Toilet & Bowels

tai chi, it will change your life it you take the time to do it properly and learn from a proper teacher, i.e. not a new age version of tai chi.

i agree.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

exercise does NOT make me happy
i'm too weak physically to exercise anyway

you have no idea how much physical pain i am in right now
i feel like i got hit by a truck
also i keep getting these weird almost like adrenalin rushes but i'm not becoming more energetic and it's not just in my chest, it's in my legs and back and all over. it's very unsettling and uncomfortable

so im back for a bit

like someone said, you need a real doctor to make sure you don't have an actual physical problem that's causing the pain.

if it's the drugs, then once you detox the pain will go away.

and you don't need A LOT of exercise. all you need is 30 minutes of walking and 15 minutes of sunlight every day to maintain a basic level of health. if you spend all day sitting/lying around your blood doesn't flow right your metabolism gets fucked up your brain stops producing serotonin etc etc.

start small until it's a habit, then build on it.

you don't need 3 hours at the gym, you don't even need a gym-- just the street and a pair of walking shoes and a speed of about 3mph. that simple.

[Cantankerous]

13 missed calls.

hahahahaha. he thinks i'm stupid enough to answer the phone.

[Cantankerous]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

so im back for a bit

like someone said, you need a real doctor to make sure you don't have an actual physical problem that's causing the pain.

if it's the drugs, then once you detox the pain will go away.

and you don't need A LOT of exercise. all you need is 30 minutes of walking and 15 minutes of sunlight every day to maintain a basic level of health. if you spend all day sitting/lying around your blood doesn't flow right your metabolism gets fucked up your brain stops producing serotonin etc etc.

start small until it's a habit, then build on it.

you don't need 3 hours at the gym, you don't even need a gym-- just the street and a pair of walking shoes and a speed of about 3mph. that simple.

i walk everywhere. i don't have a car, remember? don't need one.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

i walk everywhere. i don't have a car, remember? don't need one.

30 continuous minutes. and 15 minutes of natural sunlight.

going across the street to get ice cream at 3am doesn't count.

[!@#$%!]

of course that's not a silver bullet. if you suffer from PTSD, have shitty mental habits, are physically ill, eat toxic foods & ingest poisons, etc, you're not gonna be magically cured. it's a combination of effort in all areas.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by atari 2600

That's some good advice. Short and to the point.

---
Crazy neighbors are everywhere, so moving may not even be helpful, but rather hurtful. I realize that. And, 99.999% of the time I've lived here I've never had any problems with police or crazy neighbors. Still, I'm obsessed with the BS from today.

What do you think, !@#$%!? Am I completely overreacting? I guess I probably am.

I know I have a right to feel upset and that you would probably also be upset about such a veiled accusation. Obviously, I've been their neighbor for almost four years and would have simply brought them their keys if I saw them. I think they should know that by now. I've gone to their door to borrow jumper cables before, and I've also told them before when they left the light on inside their car accidentally.

I suppose I'm just offended and also worried that the silly situation will escalate somehow.

ok so i read your post and i think yeah you might be overreacting-- but after X years of living there a bit of a friendly interaction with the neighbors couldn't hurt-- just a hello and blah blah so they are not afraid of you.

of course knowing virginia & virginians they are all probably a bunch of squares, so who knows-- in that case you should stop worrying of what other people think, because they are going to be jackasses everywhere. usually for this reason i prefer to live in urban areas where there is no "standard" of appearance/lifestyle/behavior & everyone goes about their business-- meaning some places are more friendly to eccentrics than others. of course i try to camouflage my eccentricities so i can leave in peace among the horde. i dress "normal" & get haircuts & all that. i do love to deceive the enemy. ha ha.

anyway sorry im drinking a beer & eating msg-loaded japanese snacks so i dont know if im maing sense ha ha. i think i do...

[Toilet & Bowels]

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

i'm a weakling so i will look into that. just as long as you promise it won't build muscle.

it won't

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

13 missed calls.

hahahahaha. he thinks i'm stupid enough to answer the phone.

bitch, you should just let him know you're taking time off away & you'll be back-- no need to torture him (if that's what's going on).

just send a text message saying you're ok you'll be back and he shouldn't fret.

[This Is Not Here]

Yeah, I think 'he' (I assume your boyfreind) deserves to know your safe.

[Cantankerous]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

30 continuous minutes. and 15 minutes of natural sunlight.

going across the street to get ice cream at 3am doesn't count.

ok i laughed at that for longer than i should

get. out. of. my. head.

[Cantankerous]

the weird sensations, extreme body and joint aches etc are apparently being caused by flu or something like that. some sort of really unpleasant infection.

[Cantankerous]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

bitch, you should just let him know you're taking time off away & you'll be back-- no need to torture him (if that's what's going on).

just send a text message saying you're ok you'll be back and he shouldn't fret.

i told him when i left not to take it personally or worry etc, im not trying to torture anyone i just didnt want to talk to him

but i just invited him over here because im bored of the internet and celebrity gossip tv
probably ill leave tomorrow but i dont wanna go home
i want my old apt back but i dont wanna pay rent

Originally Posted by Cantankerous

so i made a thread for this because we dont ever get real serious here. basically just to discuss mental conditions and the like.

don't read this if you don't want to:

historically ive never been very open about it but recently ive been in a very bad way for absolutely no good reason. so tonight i threw some things in a bag and got a guitar and now im staying in the chelsea hotel, completely reduced to browsing the internet on iphone or watching bad tv/dvds and sitting up in bed chain smoking. and like on the verge of tears every second for no reason.
i dont want to go to england or anywhere anymore. and if i dont go (family obligation) a lot of people might be disappointed but i feel like they probably won't be. fuck it.
probably i think i have bipolar disorder

Too many people get diagnosed with bipolar or borderline disorders when depression and erratic behaviour is often caused mainly by the abuse of whatever it is that one is abusing (ie food,alcohol, drugs etc). This causes people to apply whatever mental illness they feel akin to onto themselves, with catastrophic results that can lead to some serious and mind-bothering business.

Before you reach any rushed conclusions, it's safe to say that you ought to find out if there's something that is causing you to suspect that you really are bipolar and you can pin down for whatever reason, and then take it from there to a specialist you feel like trusting and is qualified to be called as such.

[demonrail666]

Originally Posted by sarramkrop

Before you reach any rushed conclusions, it's safe to say that you ought to find out if there's something that is causing you to suspect that you really are bipolar and you can pin down for whatever reason, and then take it from there to a specialist you feel like trusting and is qualified to be called as such.

This is one of the most sensible things I've read here in a long time.

Whatever the problem you have Cantankarous, just remember. It could be worse, you could be this guy:

 

Seriously though, take Sarramkrops advice. He speaketh many truths.

Originally Posted by demonrail666

This is one of the most sensible things I've read here in a long time.

Whatever the problem you have Cantankarous, just remember. It could be worse, you could be this guy:

 

Seriously though, take Sarramkrops advice. He speaketh many truths.

Thank you.