The World's Best Joke - Page 2

Hip Priest · 01.31.2007, 05:57 PM

^ The parrots ate them all.

Theparrotsateemal.

The paracetamol.

ALIEN ANAL · 02.01.2007, 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob Instigator

I don't get it

He is just saying that in 1842 research was done to find that the jungle parrots squawke is so loud that it actually gives them a migrane, this migrane was driving the birds insane causing them to die and become a rare species. They decided they would drop special panadol covered in bird food from planes over the jungle. This worked for a short time and the parrots were eating it, but it had a negative affect causing the birds to completly die and become extinct

sonicl · 08.07.2007, 04:32 AM

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.
The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck".
"I see your eyes are working", replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.
"I see your ears are working", says the duck, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please? I'm working on the building site across the road and I'm on my lunch break". Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.
This continues for 2 weeks. One day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!". "Sounds marvellous", says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call".
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!".
"Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?".
"At the circus", says the landlord.
"The circus?", the duck enquires.
"That's right", replies the landlord.
"The circus?. That place with the big tent?. With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle", asks the duck.
"That's right!", says the landlord.
The duck looks confused, "What the f**k would they want with a plasterer?"

jon boy · 08.07.2007, 04:50 AM

why did princess diana cross the road?

momentum.

fugazifan · 08.07.2007, 05:03 AM

what was the last thing that went through princess diana's head?
the radio
why did hitler kill himself at the end of the war?
he got his gas bill

i could do more holocaust jokes, but they get a bit inappropriate...

08.07.2007, 05:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fugazifan

what was the last thing that went through princess diana's head?
the radio
why did hitler kill himself at the end of the war?
he got his gas bill

i could do more holocaust jokes, but they get a bit inappropriate...

haha.

ALIEN ANAL · 08.07.2007, 06:25 AM

this is THE best

Why did the baker have brown hands?

Because he kneeded a poo

Pookie · 08.07.2007, 06:29 AM

One of my favourites, posting by sonicl a while ago:

A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master.

"So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?"

"40," replies the dog.

"How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!"

"I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."

king_buzzo · 08.07.2007, 06:30 AM

youthoftomorrow · 08.07.2007, 03:12 PM

how many babies does it take to paint a house?

depends on how hard you throw them.

Disgruntled Youth · 08.07.2007, 03:40 PM

How can you tell if a red neck is on her period?

She's wearing one sock.

GravyK · 08.07.2007, 03:54 PM

What do Jaguar's have that nothing else has?

Baby jaguar's.

01.31.2007, 05:57 PM	#21
Hip Priest invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Birkenhead Posts: 9,397	^ The parrots ate them all. Theparrotsateemal. The paracetamol. __________________ Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. http://www.flickr.com/photos/outsidethecamp/
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08.07.2007, 04:32 AM	#23
sonicl invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 9,527	A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck". "I see your eyes are working", replies the duck. "And you talk!" exclaims the landlord. "I see your ears are working", says the duck, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please? I'm working on the building site across the road and I'm on my lunch break". Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. One day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!". "Sounds marvellous", says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call". So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!". "Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?". "At the circus", says the landlord. "The circus?", the duck enquires. "That's right", replies the landlord. "The circus?. That place with the big tent?. With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle", asks the duck. "That's right!", says the landlord. The duck looks confused, "What the f**k would they want with a plasterer?"
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08.07.2007, 04:50 AM	#24
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	why did princess diana cross the road? momentum. __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
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08.07.2007, 05:03 AM	#25
fugazifan invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 2,816	what was the last thing that went through princess diana's head? the radio why did hitler kill himself at the end of the war? he got his gas bill i could do more holocaust jokes, but they get a bit inappropriate... __________________ If there's been a way to build it, There'll be a way to destroy it, Things are not that out of control www.myspace.com/dellilahtheband www.myspace.com/lecirquedesvampiresmusic
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08.07.2007, 06:25 AM	#27
ALIEN ANAL invito al cielo Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 5,461	this is THE best Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he kneeded a poo __________________ www.instagram.com/alienanal
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08.07.2007, 06:29 AM	#28
Pookie invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 9,877	One of my favourites, posting by sonicl a while ago: A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master. "So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?" "40," replies the dog. "How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!" "I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."
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08.07.2007, 06:30 AM	#29
king_buzzo invito al cielo Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 11,110	me.
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08.07.2007, 03:12 PM	#30
youthoftomorrow expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Idaho. Posts: 1,418	how many babies does it take to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them. __________________ avalanche.
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08.07.2007, 03:40 PM	#31
Disgruntled Youth the end of the ugly Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: I'm sitting right beside you Posts: 839	How can you tell if a red neck is on her period? She's wearing one sock. __________________ Duppy know a who fi Frighten "Drink Guinness & live, Hate Guinness & die" Lee "Scratch" Perry
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08.07.2007, 03:54 PM	#32
GravyK little trouble girl Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Zeeland, MI Posts: 29	What do Jaguar's have that nothing else has? Baby jaguar's. __________________ If you put it in my face, I literally will.
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