[ann ashtray]

+ god has absolutely nothing to do with any of this. if anything, god is the problem when it comes to such issues.

[atsonicpark]

Originally Posted by kinnikpasswordforgetter

nurse suchfriends will be round shortly with the hash enema and bong IV to drown out your screams with his insipid white reggae routine.

god is love, and wanting live a life of meaningless suffering for as long as possible is a sign of sanity. now hush, he's got a batch of fresh livers and hearts to keep you going for the next few decades. and don't try and slip out on him, because the brain transplant technique is almost perfected. god loves his children, and he sent his most stoned prophet so that they may punch the clock another day, and it pleaseth the lord.

Haha. Priceless.

...Yeah, seriously though, it's nice to know I have a serious mental illness. Maybe I'm just not as easily fooled, distracted, and consumed by a meaningless, pointless existence. So many people derive simple joys from their new cellphones or their facebook accounts or new bongs or new tattoos or whatever, and all that stuff's neat for them and whatever, and I am certainly happy for them -- perhaps my biggest flaw, and weirdest trait, is that as much as I hate myself, I always go out of my way to make sure everyone else is really happy, and I'd do anything to make them happy. It makes me feel good to make others happy. But anyway, I like a lot of those people, and all those things I mentioned allows them to continue leading wonderful lives. I'm just saying: I'm unhappy with life. Life HURTS ME. Personally, no matter how much I consume, no matter how much I change, no matter how much I think about it, it doesn't change the feeling that I'm really really fucking depressed all the time. I like when people don't like me, sometimes. I love to be abused. I am attracted to people who will hurt me, in every way. That turns me on, in fact. Anyway, I know so many smart, cool people, who are suicidal -- in fact, you rarely see a "dumb" (for a lack of a better term, and again, simplifying here) person kill themselves, but there's all sorts of brilliant, intelligent people out there who either have or will be suicidal or commit suicide. I think it's because the smarter you are, the less you are distracted by simple bullshit. The less you are excited by little things that most people go apeshit over. You know how they say ignorance is bliss? I think the opposite is true: intelligence can be hell. I hate myself, completely, 100%. I mean, I really just hate the way I look, the way I talk, the way I LIVE, and I've tried everything to change everything, but can't, no matter where I go or what I do, etc. I mean, I'm still going to keep living, I guess, I don't really have any interest in much music or movies or anything anymore, probably never again, and even as "creative" as I am, I don't have any immediate plans for making any kind of art (though I have been working on an avant garde shmup!). But I've been posting here 10 years, and I love this place, it's probably the only msg board or social forum I haven't quit, because I really dig tons of the people here. But man, I just feel weighed down so much, held back so much, by hatred for myself. They started writing good things about me in my local newspaper, my film showed Friday at an art museum, Greg Ginn likes my music, I have plenty of cash saved up, I've got a brand new car I bought by myself with my own money, I can quit my job and have enough money to live off of for 2 years while still paying bills, and the girl I spend time with who is my girlfriend sorta, is fun and pretty and honestly gives the best sex EVER. And at the moment, I got a good supply of other things that I enjoy. And yet I'm not happy in the least (well, the Ginn thing was really cool -- thanks again, Derek).

Actually, the best thing that's happened ALL YEAR was a drawing Derek sent me of Bart Simpson wearing a SCISSORSHOCK shirt. Derek is just one of those great people, there's very few of them out there. He's never tried to use me or take advantage/manipulate me. He's real, and cool as fuck. Dig that dude so much.

But yeah, even though I won't live to be that old, when I'm a vegetable, I'm going to take my perhaps-vast fortune and offer it to whoever to kill me. I'll write a living will for it. Those people were technically alive, but they were dead on the inside. Should Terry Schiavo have been kept on life support forever? Should people who are terminally ill and only have shitting themselves and death to look forward to and no other pleasures EVER for the REST OF THEIR EXISTENCE, only PAIN... should those people be kept alive by machines and medicine and money? Kevorkian didn't accept money, did he? Only donations. He really believed in his cause. He's a-okay. Also, my life is my life. I always love the "YOU'RE SELFISH IF YOU KILL YOURSELF!" Well, isn't it more selfish of someone else if they try to control my life, the only life I'll ever have, and for them to try to get me to go through a life of hell?

I'm just finding life more and more painful. Suicide isn't sexy or cool, really. I'm not saying that at all. I'm not being morbid or gothy here, just honest about myself. It's easy to see how abuse and other things have fucked me up and gotten me to this point, the person I am today. But don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself.

...because I still need to hit 30,000 posts!

[Dr. Eugene Felikson]

blah blah blah

you fellas sure do like talking to yourselves

I remember when the non-sonics board used to be a fun place to talk about movies and games all day.

now it's debate after debate after debate after debate... and no one's opinion is ever changed for the better.

you probably should just kill yourselves already and stop posting on a forum about it

wussies

[the ikara cult]

Originally Posted by kinnikpasswordforgetter

nurse suchfriends will be round shortly with the hash enema and bong IV to drown out your screams with his insipid white reggae routine.

god is love, and wanting live a life of meaningless suffering for as long as possible is a sign of sanity. now hush, he's got a batch of fresh livers and hearts to keep you going for the next few decades. and don't try and slip out on him, because the brain transplant technique is almost perfected. god loves his children, and he sent his most stoned prophet so that they may punch the clock another day, and it pleaseth the lord.

you must spread your brain matter all over the pristine white wall beind you whilst screaming into the abyss before giving it to kinnikpasswordforgetter again

[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

this thread is scary. y'all accuse me of romanticism, and yet several of y'all are romaniticising suicide to the point where i am seriously concerned, all facetiousness and bullypulpit sarcasm aside.

Yes, being suicidal is a DSM IV recognized MENTAL ILLNESS, which requires SERIOUS and CONSTANT professional help. No, it is not normal. Yes, many people feel suicidal from time to time, and they are suffering from a major depressive episode. The very proof that these suicidal thoughts are stemming from a mental illness is the fact that inevitably their psychology and neurochemistry mellows out with time and healing and they get over it. For those who get no help from anyone, they are dead, and that is unfortunate, because had the gotten help perhaps they might have healed and survived like the rest of us who have been suicidal at different times in our lives.

this thread scares me for so many reasons, I feel so bad for how much pain, fear and loathing some of you SYG folkz harbor in your hearts, let it go folks, its all love.

I am constantly amazed at the amount of weight and burden the human heart can possess without collapsing under its own weight. this alone is why suicide is NOT an option, it is a tragedy

[ann ashtray]

yr acting as if there is no difference between someone who is sad/considering suicide and someone in great physical pain/ALREADY ON THEIR DEATH BED and consider it....two VERY different things, my friend.

[the ikara cult]

Originally Posted by SuchFriendsAreDangerous

this thread is scary. y'all accuse me of romanticism, and yet several of y'all are romaniticising suicide to the point where i am seriously concerned, all facetiousness and bullypulpit sarcasm aside.

Yes, being suicidal is a DSM IV recognized MENTAL ILLNESS, which requires SERIOUS and CONSTANT professional help. No, it is not normal. Yes, many people feel suicidal from time to time, and they are suffering from a major depressive episode. The very proof that these suicidal thoughts are stemming from a mental illness is the fact that inevitably their psychology and neurochemistry mellows out with time and healing and they get over it. For those who get no help from anyone, they are dead, and that is unfortunate, because had the gotten help perhaps they might have healed and survived like the rest of us who have been suicidal at different times in our lives.

this thread scares me for so many reasons, I feel so bad for how much pain, fear and loathing some of you SYG folkz harbor in your hearts, let it go folks, its all love.

I am constantly amazed at the amount of weight and burden the human heart can possess without collapsing under its own weight. this alone is why suicide is NOT an option, it is a tragedy

Perhaps everyone has a flippant attitude to life, or maybe this is the internet and people like to wind everyone up. I know its better to slowly decay and leave some kind of record of your existence than to go bluntly and unceremoniously. Who are you feeling bad for?

[the ikara cult]

Originally Posted by kinnikpasswordforgetter

your concern isn't touching or noble, it's just drivel.

feeling suicidal is mental illness? the dsm iv said so! so it must be true! after all those doctors made it up so it must be right. being stoned is also a mental illness in the dsm iv. but if you find it remotely credible as anything other than a poetic, politicised form of ideology, well, think harder.

The DSM IV isnt to be dismissed so flippantly, it wasnt "made up", its a product of real research and real investigation.

[atsonicpark]

Originally Posted by Dr. Eugene Felikson

blah blah blah

you fellas sure do like talking to yourselves

I remember when the non-sonics board used to be a fun place to talk about movies and games all day.

now it's debate after debate after debate after debate... and no one's opinion is ever changed for the better.

you probably should just kill yourselves already and stop posting on a forum about it

wussies

It's just as "fun" as it ever was, there's always been serious discussions amongst the VIDEO GAMEZ and MOVIEZ (the meaning of life, clearly; I'm so bored with all that shit, but I'm always down to talk about interesting movies and games, those threads still exist and I still post to them, it just so happens that there are topics for serious things as well). Opinions are never going to change for the "Better", or "Worse", as there is no such thing as a "good" or "bad" opinion. No offense, but you should probably stop reading serious posts/threads if you can't handle how "unfun" they are. I don't care either way, but I'm a lot more complex of a human being than just "oh that guy who has seen a bunch of movies and shit."

Fact is, I dunno about some people here, but I personally have to pay bills, I have to work for a living, I have to deal with things that from my past that have permanently fucked me up, physically and mentally. I am so depressed I don't plan on ever making films again and probably will not record many more albums. It's crippling anxiety and depression, yet I HAVE TO work, no one has ever given me anything, I have had to work since I was 14 years old (when I watched my grandma die in front of me, she weighed about 70lbs at the time because she'd dealt with cancer). No one has given me ANYTHING -- clothes, cars, NOTHING, I've had to steal or mow lawns or WHATEVER. My dad disowned me, my stepdad physically abused me, I was sexually assaulted when I was younger and I have nightmares about it nearly every night. My mom has cancer and my grandpa has a year to live, not to mention I'm sick as well (sorry, not sick, DYING. But i won't get into that, lest someone think I want any sympathy; I'm only saying this to illustrate a point). I take care of both of them, after working 3rd shift I will drive them to the hospital and for tests and usually not sleep and will be up for a few days straight. I work my ass off at work, but no one appreciates it, really. But it'ss omething I have to do since I'm the only one working, paying for my mom because she's too sick to work but she can't get disability for whatever ridiculous reason, meanwhile some meth whore or chick with 5 kids will get all the government assistance in the world, and 25% of my paycheck will go towards it. The funniest thing is, despite almsot none of my friends having a job and getting to sit around and get checks from the government, they still ask me for money and shit all the time. It's my own stupidity, but I'm always giving everyone I know, everything I own. It kinda makes me happy to give. That's one of the few things I enjoy. Though the minute I stop, all those "Friends" begin shit talking cuz I'm not willing to go "GET HIGHHHHH". Oh, and everyone's advice for my depression? "JUST GET HIGH." Man, smoking weed is fucking boring.

I'm not complaining, just putting things into perspective. It's easy to sit at a computer and go "wAHH STOP WHINING" -- I'm not whining, we're having a discussion because apparently depression and suicidal thoughts are "wrong" to some people. Fact is, I'm not going to kill myself, but thinking about death and its inevitably can be comforting. It's probably not something many on this board would understand -- but many on this board do understand completely, as well.

No one is forcing you to read this thread, which is serious. Your favorite threads are about hackerz and the internet and old video games and ICP and so on and so forth. That's cool, that stuff can be entertaining, and it's your right to use this board for that purpose, you can do whatever you want online. But I for one usually don't shit on your threads, and I have defended you many times, seeing your point of view on why you find ICP entertaining or whatever. I'm not asking you to change your mind, but to at least see where I'm coming from. Ultimately, no one is going to change >my< mind, as the abuse I have faced and the tragedies I've endured have gotten me to where I am. I have worked extra hard to be successful and to have something to show for life, and I still have a "girlfriend" who makes fun of me for not going to college and for wasting my life at a grocery store. Even people I love and am supposed to trust have problems with me, even though she admitted to me during a 2 hour argument last night she started that she's actually just really jealous of me. I said "you're jealous because your family is rich and buys you 3 cartons of cigarettes a week and buys you brand new cars and pays for everything and you just get to sit on your ass all day and hang out with rich dudes all day and I don't say anything? Meanwhile I have to take care of my family, work my ass off to support myself AND my family, for nearly half my life, and every time I get depressed you tell me I shouldn't be, because your problems are worse than mine?" See, she has a lot of problems in life, too. I hear her complain every day. She's "bored". I wish "boredom" was the worst thing I had to deal with.

So, yeah, everyone has problems, certainly. My problems are no "Better" or "Worse" than anyone else's, and I'm a strong enough person to carry on. Unfortunately, unlike most of the internet, a generation of spoiled assholes who complain when their iphone is out of service for 2 seconds, or their DSL is "only" going 100kb a second or something, I don't have the luxury of being able to sit on my ass all day, I have to deal with problems head-on and you know what? It wears me out. But at the same time, I appreciate things a lot more. And I'm certainly not going to try to shit on someone else for having opinions different than mine.

Reality isn't always a fun place. Ultimately, I've played every video game, watched every movie, and listened to almost every band that I think I'll ever like. None of it makes me happy. It's all distractions. Playing guitar makes me sorta happy, but that's about it. Having wild freaky nasty crazy sex doesn't do anything for me, I'll go months without cumming. Smoking pot is so fucking boring. I like some drugs but yeah. Ultimately I'm looking for something more in life -- something I'll probably never find -- and I'm very happy for people who have joy in their lives. I do like simple little things. I have been growing flowers, and taking photos of them. I think they're beautiful. I love when the weather is nice, sometimes I'll sit on a hill at the local park for hours and just think.

And yeah I LOVE guitar. I've been sitting around playing some "Fahey Lite" stuff on guitar and I feel like I've FINALLY -- after 14 years of playing and 13 years releasing material -- began to become a decent guitarist.

I also LOVE Lumines. Best game ever. I've put 80 hours into that game in the past 2 years.

And I love video mix tapes, like LOST AND FOUND VIDEO NIGHTS. FOUND FOOTAGE FESTIVAL. FORBIDDEN TRANSMISSION. Etc.

I also love LOVE AND ROCKETS!

So yeah, life isn't completely awful or anything. There are all sorts of things I dig. I'm not going to "kill myself already", but I am going to keep posting relevant messages on relevant topics in relative threads on this board, because that's what our discussion was about. Whenever you get super down and depressed in life and have to deal with how shitty and fucked-up life really is, I'm not going to shit on you or your posts, I'll be the first to listen and if I can, give you advice. Keep that in mind. Like I said, I can give and give and be nice to people and treat them how I want to be treated, and the minute I need to vent because of how truely fucked up my life is, I get met with "kill yourself already". Hilarious. But I don't care. A lot of people would, but I don't, because I've accepted that's how most people react.

No biggy. I'm not mad in the least. Take care.

[DeadDiscoDildo]

What is this about suicidal and goth shit? Did he assist suicidal people to kill themselves?

I always thought he killed sick people.

There is a BIG difference for being healthy and suicidal and wanting to die because of a terrible body ravaging illness that slowly kills you.

[the ikara cult]

Originally Posted by kinnikpasswordforgetter

try reading the thing.

look at all the abuse and atrocity it has been used to justify.

i know we all have to believe it's sourced in materialist scientific truth. because of all the 'expert's involved. you should look into the entomology of schizophrenia. see foucalts madness and civilisation. it's ENTIRELY political. and financial, since its used to invent categories to make profits throwing dangerous drugs at.

but it's primitive drivel compared to the insights of modern neuroscience. outdated folk-pyschological concepts. it reminds me of pre newtonian explanations for why things fall up instead of down. 'the object falleth towardes thee earth for it loveth the place from whence it came.'

i'd suggest wiping your arse with it.

I didnt defend anything its been used to justify, but if youre mucking around deciding that peer reviewed scientific research is the problem then you have no place telling SuchFriends that God is illogical, and youre just pretending you know more than medical professionals.

[atsonicpark]

Originally Posted by DeadDiscoDildo

What is this about suicidal and goth shit? Did he assist suicidal people to kill themselves?

I always thought he killed sick people.

There is a BIG difference for being healthy and suicidal and wanting to die because of a terrible body ravaging illness that slowly kills you.

Yeah, he met tons of people who he TURNED DOWN. He didn't just go on a "killing spree". He made the means available to people who were already, basically, dead -- if not technically, then at least "Dead" to the extent of "Not being able to live properly". People were REALLY excited to finally be able to end their own lives peacefully. The only reason there was ANY criticism is because doctors/hospitals lost money from it. They have the cure for AIDS and cancer and so on and so forth, but they'd lose SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY if they released it. They're still kicking themselves over the polio guy giving away the cure for free!

Kevorkian didn't take money from his patients. Kevorkian helped those that were living in excrutating pain.

Personally speaking, I had major back surgery and a catheter shoved up my dick, I also once fell down 8 stairs, nearly broke my neck and landed on a cement floor with an upright nail that got lodged in my back. I am taking a wild guess that all the most painful things I've dealt with -- the back surgery meant that I couldn't walk for a week without the worst pain I've ever felt happening to me -- are not even 1% of the pain those poor people are going through.

Ultimately, it's really no one's business if someone kills themselves or wants to die, because it's their life. People are so selfish when they try to control other peoples' lives. If you told me "You're going to have to be in the worst pain of your life for the rest of your life -- and not really have a life -- or you could kill yourself peacefully", what would i choose? Would anyone really choose "OH I'M GOING TO BE IN AWFUL PAIN, GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE WIPE MY ASS FOR ME 3 TIMES A DAY, GONNA JUST HANG OUT IN THE HOSPITAL FOR THE NEXT 20 YEARS, GONNA NOT BE ABLE TO EAT/SLEEP/FUCK/PISS/SHIT/GET DRESSED WITHOUT ASSISTANCE! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT! NO ALTERNATIVES AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" If so, that's... well... have fun with that, y'all.

also.. almost fired. I've had 15 managers in 7 years and all of them have praised my work, many calling me the best worker in the store. one fuckhead weirdo manager has a problem with me and has called me in the office 3 times in 9 months just to fuck with me and get me in trouble. Now I'm going to have to go bosses above him and create all this drama to get some of those "strikes" taken off my record. Just ridiculous. They sent me home the other day because he said I wasn't being "productive" enough -- keep in mind I have the most time-consuming and difficult department in the store and yet I consistently get done before anyone, without needing any help. Just hilarious. Then again, what do I expect, when the only really down to earth, awesome, honest, hard-workingest manager in the store was fired recently for random bullshit reasons that made no sense, without warning? This store seems to hate people who work. Or, sorry, don't exclusively kiss their asses and worship them... Oh well. It wouldn't be so bad, but I am dealing with a lot of personal problems at the moment too, as well as family stuff.

[DeadDiscoDildo]

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

It's just as "fun" as it ever was, there's always been serious discussions amongst the VIDEO GAMEZ and MOVIEZ (the meaning of life, clearly; I'm so bored with all that shit, but I'm always down to talk about interesting movies and games, those threads still exist and I still post to them, it just so happens that there are topics for serious things as well). Opinions are never going to change for the "Better", or "Worse", as there is no such thing as a "good" or "bad" opinion. No offense, but you should probably stop reading serious posts/threads if you can't handle how "unfun" they are. I don't care either way, but I'm a lot more complex of a human being than just "oh that guy who has seen a bunch of movies and shit."

Fact is, I dunno about some people here, but I personally have to pay bills, I have to work for a living, I have to deal with things that from my past that have permanently fucked me up, physically and mentally. I am so depressed I don't plan on ever making films again and probably will not record many more albums. It's crippling anxiety and depression, yet I HAVE TO work, no one has ever given me anything, I have had to work since I was 14 years old (when I watched my grandma die in front of me, she weighed about 70lbs at the time because she'd dealt with cancer). No one has given me ANYTHING -- clothes, cars, NOTHING, I've had to steal or mow lawns or WHATEVER. My dad disowned me, my stepdad physically abused me, I was sexually assaulted when I was younger and I have nightmares about it nearly every night. My mom has cancer and my grandpa has a year to live, not to mention I'm sick as well (sorry, not sick, DYING. But i won't get into that, lest someone think I want any sympathy; I'm only saying this to illustrate a point). I take care of both of them, after working 3rd shift I will drive them to the hospital and for tests and usually not sleep and will be up for a few days straight. I work my ass off at work, but no one appreciates it, really. But it'ss omething I have to do since I'm the only one working, paying for my mom because she's too sick to work but she can't get disability for whatever ridiculous reason, meanwhile some meth whore or chick with 5 kids will get all the government assistance in the world, and 25% of my paycheck will go towards it. The funniest thing is, despite almsot none of my friends having a job and getting to sit around and get checks from the government, they still ask me for money and shit all the time. It's my own stupidity, but I'm always giving everyone I know, everything I own. It kinda makes me happy to give. That's one of the few things I enjoy. Though the minute I stop, all those "Friends" begin shit talking cuz I'm not willing to go "GET HIGHHHHH". Oh, and everyone's advice for my depression? "JUST GET HIGH." Man, smoking weed is fucking boring.

I'm not complaining, just putting things into perspective. It's easy to sit at a computer and go "wAHH STOP WHINING" -- I'm not whining, we're having a discussion because apparently depression and suicidal thoughts are "wrong" to some people. Fact is, I'm not going to kill myself, but thinking about death and its inevitably can be comforting. It's probably not something many on this board would understand -- but many on this board do understand completely, as well.

No one is forcing you to read this thread, which is serious. Your favorite threads are about hackerz and the internet and old video games and ICP and so on and so forth. That's cool, that stuff can be entertaining, and it's your right to use this board for that purpose, you can do whatever you want online. But I for one usually don't shit on your threads, and I have defended you many times, seeing your point of view on why you find ICP entertaining or whatever. I'm not asking you to change your mind, but to at least see where I'm coming from. Ultimately, no one is going to change >my< mind, as the abuse I have faced and the tragedies I've endured have gotten me to where I am. I have worked extra hard to be successful and to have something to show for life, and I still have a "girlfriend" who makes fun of me for not going to college and for wasting my life at a grocery store. Even people I love and am supposed to trust have problems with me, even though she admitted to me during a 2 hour argument last night she started that she's actually just really jealous of me. I said "you're jealous because your family is rich and buys you 3 cartons of cigarettes a week and buys you brand new cars and pays for everything and you just get to sit on your ass all day and hang out with rich dudes all day and I don't say anything? Meanwhile I have to take care of my family, work my ass off to support myself AND my family, for nearly half my life, and every time I get depressed you tell me I shouldn't be, because your problems are worse than mine?" See, she has a lot of problems in life, too. I hear her complain every day. She's "bored". I wish "boredom" was the worst thing I had to deal with.

So, yeah, everyone has problems, certainly. My problems are no "Better" or "Worse" than anyone else's, and I'm a strong enough person to carry on. Unfortunately, unlike most of the internet, a generation of spoiled assholes who complain when their iphone is out of service for 2 seconds, or their DSL is "only" going 100kb a second or something, I don't have the luxury of being able to sit on my ass all day, I have to deal with problems head-on and you know what? It wears me out. But at the same time, I appreciate things a lot more. And I'm certainly not going to try to shit on someone else for having opinions different than mine.

Reality isn't always a fun place. Ultimately, I've played every video game, watched every movie, and listened to almost every band that I think I'll ever like. None of it makes me happy. It's all distractions. Playing guitar makes me sorta happy, but that's about it. Having wild freaky nasty crazy sex doesn't do anything for me, I'll go months without cumming. Smoking pot is so fucking boring. I like some drugs but yeah. Ultimately I'm looking for something more in life -- something I'll probably never find -- and I'm very happy for people who have joy in their lives. I do like simple little things. I have been growing flowers, and taking photos of them. I think they're beautiful. I love when the weather is nice, sometimes I'll sit on a hill at the local park for hours and just think.

And yeah I LOVE guitar. I've been sitting around playing some "Fahey Lite" stuff on guitar and I feel like I've FINALLY -- after 14 years of playing and 13 years releasing material -- began to become a decent guitarist.

I also LOVE Lumines. Best game ever. I've put 80 hours into that game in the past 2 years.

And I love video mix tapes, like LOST AND FOUND VIDEO NIGHTS. FOUND FOOTAGE FESTIVAL. FORBIDDEN TRANSMISSION. Etc.

I also love LOVE AND ROCKETS!

So yeah, life isn't completely awful or anything. There are all sorts of things I dig. I'm not going to "kill myself already", but I am going to keep posting relevant messages on relevant topics in relative threads on this board, because that's what our discussion was about. Whenever you get super down and depressed in life and have to deal with how shitty and fucked-up life really is, I'm not going to shit on you or your posts, I'll be the first to listen and if I can, give you advice. Keep that in mind. Like I said, I can give and give and be nice to people and treat them how I want to be treated, and the minute I need to vent because of how truely fucked up my life is, I get met with "kill yourself already". Hilarious. But I don't care. A lot of people would, but I don't, because I've accepted that's how most people react.

No biggy. I'm not mad in the least. Take care.

I'm with your stance on this 100% my friend, I'm going to miss you when you're gone because you are the voice of reason usually on here and genuine when everyone else is in some never ending pissing contest of how ironic or how sardonic they can be. There are alot of smart people on this board, but most of them have really, really shitty attitudes.

You're a smart dude, who's been dealt some shitty blows in life, yet you keep your attitude positive, in a weird, super realistic and bleak way. But at least you havent given up or damn the world and I'm glad you are still around to post and give such an example.

People wanna talk about serious shit, intellectual discussions, well let's do it. Entertainment is simpley that, entertainment (distractions or an escape to keep the mind sane). Not something that encompasses every part of your existence. I mean for fuck sake, thats why I love this board...because theres always been so many viewpoint from all over the world, not just about music and art but on SERIOUS SHIT that affects us ALL.

If you want something silly and light and etc. ALL THE TIME maybe u should go on the disney forums...or ICP forums. Or you should just go out and be a better juggalo, isnt there some gathering happening now you should be getting fucked up at on whip its, meth, and faygo?!

[atsonicpark]

Thank you, DDD, excellent post -- not just because you agree with me, mind you. I am glad someone recognizes that I try to be relaistic and fair and see all sides, I don't have one "side", and I've disagreed with my best friends on here as much as agreeing with my least-best-friends. I'm not perfect, I'm the first person to criticize myself, and I'm very fucking hard on myself... but I try. I try to do the right thing. I wish more people would aspire to at least TRY.

Ultimately, Joe can say whatever he wants, he's proven he doesn't want to talk about anything serious, and that's probably why most people don't take him seriously. The sad thing is, I defend him more than anyone else on here, and see his side of things and don't have anything against him, but he still responded with "kill [yourself] already." It doesn't change how I feel, I have a long history of respecting people and their opinions and what they want out of life and their point of view and how they live even if it doesn't agree with mine, and then still being insulted for it. I know he was just fucking around and "having fun", but we are genuinely trying to have thought provoking interesting convos on this thread. See, that's why I never shoot down people's opinions, even if I completely disagree with them initially: sometimes, if we really listen, we might just learn something. My mind has been changed by other people often. I prefer to listen than to speak, though I speak a lot of course.

Like I said: Oh well. No biggy. Joe's fine. That message was a little much for me but it happens.

[DeadDiscoDildo]

Yeah for sure, I try to do the same. I'm not perfect and I've grown alot and matured as an artist due to the conversations and view points here. Im just as hard on myself here and write alot more than "shit indie rock". But that's how I get labelled and Im ok with that.

Hell, I even agree with Nik most of the time and he is right about alot of things, I just wish he'd have a bit more compassion while trying to get his views across. But that's a hard quality to muster up.

So we go on making stabs at eachother, while he thinks my music is the sum of all my parts and I think his nihilism is the sum of all of his parts

respect.

[atsonicpark]

N'ik is an intense man!

[DeadDiscoDildo]

We all are

[the ikara cult]

Originally Posted by kinnikpasswordforgetter

you're just assuming its always better to trust the experts instead of coming to your own conclusions. yet so many of those 'peer reviewed' studies were commissioned by the drug companies and selectively published and tweaked to get the results they want. after all, someone has to fund them. only certain studies get done.

remember, this was the field that was performing lobotomies only 50 years ago. wiped that under the carpet didn't they? along with all those drugs that are now banned. if almost all the ones we use now aren't eventually banned, well that would be pretty sick.

it's not infallible. be careful putting trust and faith in it. i've seen lives made much worse under the auspices of modern pyschiatry.

If suicide was a lucrative business then the corruption of the scientific research would have been going on since as long as you suggest. Again, YOU are suggesting the conspiracy theory, its down to YOU to provide the evidence rather than saying "The drug companies... and the corporations... and the MAN!" I know about the history of prefrontal surgery, how there were awfully clumsy operations carried out. Show me whats going on now to justify your arguement

[Genteel Death]

I can testify that Dr. Eugene Felikson is far from a shallow poster and capable of discussing serious things with people he feels comfortable with.

[ann ashtray]

Originally Posted by DeadDiscoDildo

What is this about suicidal and goth shit? Did he assist suicidal people to kill themselves?

I always thought he killed sick people.

There is a BIG difference for being healthy and suicidal and wanting to die because of a terrible body ravaging illness that slowly kills you.

the vast majority of the religious community will never be able to accept this fact that you, my friend, have worded very well.