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Old 06.22.2007, 08:35 PM   #21
lungfish
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he said photocopy but he meant cloning
which he thought was possible for some reason or another. haha.
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Old 06.22.2007, 08:49 PM   #22
pbradley
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Taxi driver: What airline should I drop you off at.
Me: *checks paper printout* Orbitz... I mean... South Western.

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Old 06.22.2007, 09:13 PM   #23
schizophrenicroom
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"i don't know, i think sonic youth are ripping off red jumpsuit apparatus"
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fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art"
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Old 06.23.2007, 03:56 AM   #24
king_buzzo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prisstina
"you have a moustache"


...on many occasions

haha.
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Old 06.23.2007, 04:48 AM   #25
king_buzzo
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i was walking down the stairs in my old building, a guy was walking next to the stairs, i had my hand in my pocket and the guy said 'take that gun out of your pocket, motherfucker!!!!!' and started running away.
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Old 06.23.2007, 05:11 AM   #26
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'excuse me, could you tell me where the hospital is?'
'follow this road, then turn left and then it's on your left side after about two hundred meters.'
'ha ha. you're fooling me eh? well you won't fool me! nah!'
and she turned the other way. i as quite speechless and still wondering if she ever found the hospital.
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Old 06.23.2007, 05:44 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sn@ke
does she was an old woman?

no, i think she was in her late thirties or something.
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Old 06.23.2007, 06:12 AM   #28
gmku
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prisstina
my boyfriend & i were walking through a park and he was carrying a (seemingly obviously fake) pop gun. this jogger came up to us and said "excuse me, is that real? theres been a lot of dead squirrels around here lately."

........

And then your boyfriend pulls it up to the guy's face and in his best Jersey mobster voice goes, "Yeah, there have been. And you're the next one, motherfucker."
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Old 06.23.2007, 10:16 AM   #29
LittlePuppetBoy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by schizophrenicroom
"i don't know, i think sonic youth are ripping off red jumpsuit apparatus"

God what waste of human cells said that?
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Old 06.23.2007, 11:04 AM   #30
jon boy
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someone said to me 'i'm not racist but i hate all indians'.
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Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing

|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration
V

_ \ / _
PING <-------- moments later
/ \


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Old 06.23.2007, 11:29 AM   #31
sellouteater
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sellouteater cold hard suckasellouteater cold hard suckasellouteater cold hard suckasellouteater cold hard suckasellouteater cold hard suckasellouteater cold hard suckasellouteater cold hard suckasellouteater cold hard suckasellouteater cold hard suckasellouteater cold hard suckasellouteater cold hard sucka
This britsh guy talking to my mom "The 4th of july? Wasn't that when the americans got the freedom from the indians?"
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Old 06.24.2007, 11:05 PM   #32
cryptowonderdruginvogue
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"So does your dad have, like, 9 wives?"
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Old 06.24.2007, 11:07 PM   #33
!@#$%!
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!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses
"women pee through their belly buttons"

we were in elementary school, but still, this poor little fucker was sorely misinformed.
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Old 06.24.2007, 11:34 PM   #34
ALIEN ANAL
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ALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's assesALIEN ANAL kicks all y'all's asses
Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%!
"women pee through their belly buttons"

we were in elementary school, but still, this poor little fucker was sorely misinformed.

Misinformed...what do you mean?
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Old 06.24.2007, 11:42 PM   #35
Alex's Trip
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"Don't be gay. Suck my dick."
__

Someone said that in a million years everyone would look asian because we'd be so mixed by then, but my friend goes "I won't. I'll be dead" in a completely serious voice. He was joking of course, but it was hilarious.
__

And the best one (from a naive 15 year old girl that looks like she is 12):

"Fisting is like getting punched, right?"
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Old 06.24.2007, 11:48 PM   #36
Everyneurotic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex's Trip
"Don't be gay. Suck my dick."...

i know a variant of this one:

*guy tells another guy*: don't be a fag and kiss me in the mouth
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Old 06.24.2007, 11:50 PM   #37
Alex's Trip
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Everyneurotic
i know a variant of this one:

*guy tells another guy*: don't be a fag and kiss me in the mouth
I hear things like that all the time. It's funny the first time, but after that...meh.
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Old 06.24.2007, 11:52 PM   #38
Everyneurotic
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yeah i know, it usually works when out drinking and dude gestures his (ugly, unshaved) face forward.
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Old 06.25.2007, 01:20 AM   #39
UVRAY
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UVRAY kicks all y'all's assesUVRAY kicks all y'all's assesUVRAY kicks all y'all's assesUVRAY kicks all y'all's assesUVRAY kicks all y'all's assesUVRAY kicks all y'all's assesUVRAY kicks all y'all's assesUVRAY kicks all y'all's assesUVRAY kicks all y'all's assesUVRAY kicks all y'all's assesUVRAY kicks all y'all's asses
I was once going out with a blonde bimbo.

She often opened her mouth in the name of stupidity.

One occasion that sticks in my mind was when we were in the pub and she asked for a packet of dry roasted peanuts.

Then, as she's eating them, says to everyone at the table:

"I really like these, you know. I wonder what they make them out of."
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Old 06.25.2007, 05:19 AM   #40
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"Why have got a girl's name?" That never gets old
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