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#1 |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,553
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how do you find it when you need it?
my usual coping skills have left me. I am in a state of high-flux, with the inability to even begin to think about where I am going to take myself, until time has passed. I leave for australia to meet the one I love in less than three weeks. my only activities are working out, art and milking time from old job as I can (the ability to do even that is becoming and less and less as time goes by). I am in a "strange" city (old/new) with no friends, I do not get high and I am trying not to spend money. silly worries haunt me like never before. maybe they aren't so silly, but worry doesn't serve me right now, and I need to become more calm, focused and, well, happy. what should I do? or rather, what would you do? I can't promise to take yr advice, but there's a few clever people around here, so I figured that it couldn't hurt. ps: the first person to post a Guns 'n Roses video will get neg-repped by every user-name I possess. thanks. |
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#2 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 16,210
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I want to say something awesome, bud. I just don't know what. Seriously. Maybe write things down? Maybe that would help sort things out for you -- to see all yr thoughts on a page? Then try to organize them on another page? Literally sort things out. I don't know. I probably suck at this, but hope you're taking care of yrself.
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noisereduxinstalled.weebly.com |
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#3 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,360
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go for a long walk everyday, find a spot in nature and relax in it for an hour. then you will realise all this hippie calm shit and your poverty and material needs will not seem so constricting. seriously this is still a good idea. go walk in a park or nature.
eat specific food. cook some fresh fish with green veg. also eat almonds and nuts. all these can be gotten cheap and will calm you down. relax and don't try to do everything. in fact try to do nothing for a while. then when you are ready you can start packing/throwing out stuff you no longer need. go for a swim in the pool. |
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#4 | ||
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,553
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I've done that so many times, at least, in lists of things I know that I need to improve/work on. I am VERY proactive, but time is an enemy. it needs to go away. there's either too much or too little of it. I worry that I'll completely short-circuit very soon. Quote:
I walk 10km a day, although not so much in nature. I've considered going to the beach, but the goth in me really doesn't like the sun all that much. maybe I should. I pretty much only eat healthy (except for occasional treat of mexican food). every physical possession I own is in the corner of this room in which I'm sitting. I'm down to below-bare-minimum as far "stuff" goes. comics, music, treasured books and clothes are about all that I have left. everything that I can think to do costs money. I want a tattoo. I want to go to disneyland. I might go to the beach....and eat fish. I need a haircut (gasp). I feel so wound up that I just end up sleeping. about the only near-term thing I have to look forward to is Brian Jonestown Massacre next week. I need to learn how to "not do" and be happy. any ideas on how to place one's self into two week coma? |
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#5 |
the end of the ugly
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Mt Clair
Posts: 1,129
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Musems?
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Odi profanum vulgus et arceo |
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#6 |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,553
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yes, and there's plenty of them here. I was hoping to save that as an activity with the girl, but do want to go.
I guess my problem isn't all that clear, nor do I think that anyone can help me but myself. I'm not at a lack of ideas what to do, but all those things cost money that I haven't wanted to spend. I think in the interest of staying sane, I need to give up on this saving money notion and spend knowing that it's buying me time and ability to happiliy continue in the direction in which I wish to go. I might also need to quit milking this job, as that requires that I sit here, pushing buttons and waiting for msn to go off. not bad for what I'm paid, but I think maybe I have valued money too much. ... sorry for rambling. as you can see, I'm a mess. HOW DO I LEARN HOW TO BECOME PATIENT? maybe I can't.... |
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#7 |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: wormtown MA
Posts: 1,549
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you've got your computer so there's no excuse. surf the web, find some new game to play on your computer, find a different forum to chat on or go trolling. ;^) There's also Hulu and other movie and tv channels out there.
If you hate the job then take a hike, if you don't mind the job then stay because at this point it at least fills up some part of your day.
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some men just want to watch the world burn
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#8 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 8,744
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What happened to girlgun?
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#9 |
the end of the ugly
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Mt Clair
Posts: 1,129
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Serenity Now!
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Odi profanum vulgus et arceo |
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#10 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 8,095
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Quote:
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#11 | |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,553
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I, quite unintentionally, leave curses in my wake. currently, girlgun, as well as her entire city, are experiencing the curse of water. this is not to say that I've cursed her directly, although some may argue that point too. air, earth and fire have all been previously cast; only void remains. I am a walking hex, a cracked vessel, a broken creation and a messenger of woe. |
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#13 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 12,664
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ps - FUCK YOU
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Message boards are the last vestige of the spent masturbator, still intent on wasting time in some neg-heroic fashion. Be damned all who sail here. Quote:
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#14 |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,553
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I'm quite certain that this isn't my last chance to see america, at least, my current visa doesn't say so.
unless, of course, america is swallowed up by a great black void upon my departure, which is, honestly, quite possible. ps- thanks. you helped. I'd tell you how much I appreciate you in public, but instead, please twat off now. |
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#15 |
expwy. to yr skull
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,553
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brb - logging over for a bit of neg-repping.
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#16 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 21,165
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fucking hell. it's times like these that I wish I hadn't neg repped glice so often.
can someone else help me out with that g'n'r link? thanks. |
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#17 | |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mars attacks
Posts: 42,537
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Quote:
go to the beach. get sunbaked. read some long and difficult books: war and peace, proust's in search of time lost, that kind of thing. and work out-- maybe yoga, maybe jog, something that releases endorphins. also, you could try meditation. there are a few zen centers in hellay, and this guy is a 102 year old zen master that actually teaches in your area (he's a bit fragile, but he's got good minions): http://www.mbzc.org/teacher.php4 barring all that, a prescription for klonopin should work like a charm. ...little patience, mm yeah, ooh yeah, Need a little patience, yeah Just a little patience, yeah Some more pati... (ence, yeah) |
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#18 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 21,165
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ps, for anyone who thinks that I'm kidding...
I could also link you to Wichita Falls, Mt. St. Helens and several nasty earthquakes, but I'd rather you go on thinking that I'm just goth, and not, say, the antichrist. thanks. |
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#19 | ||||
invito al cielo
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 21,165
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Quote:
yes, maybe this. Quote:
think I already do too much of this. Quote:
I need to try this. Quote:
I think that getting high would make me worse. I need to be more grounded, while being less hyper-focused. --- most of all, I'm afraid that my behavior could taint my relationship with the girl I love. I'm a nutjob under normal circumstances, sure, but the self-imposed stress is making me even more so. I love her, and do not wish to push her away because of my tendency to want to self-destruct or pull away. I'm trying to be the best person that I can be, while recognizing that I still have lots of work. right... I'm starting OPERATION:FLOATSLOWER by clocking out of this illusionary job, taking a quick shower and going to best buy to pick of some dvds for a miyazaki marathon. perhaps tomorrow I'll go to venice. |
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#20 |
invito al cielo
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: mars attacks
Posts: 42,537
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klonopin doesn't make you high-- it's a mild anti-anxiety that's not addictive because it's not fast-acting. it just generally calms you down.
you could also go on a water fast & kick caffeine. after 3 days of headaches you'll be clear-headed & calm. no workouts during that period though. |
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