[johnnywinternoshow]

If you're as obsessive as I am about the best animated show ever, you'll probably have tons of them

Zapp: "What makes a man turn neutral ... Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?"

Fry: "Whoa, they are great! Mmm. They're like sex, except I'm having them!"


Brannigan: "Why'd you open your bonghole, you smelly hippie? You'd sacrifice a beautiful woman to save a moderately attractive monkey? You must have smoked some bad granola."

Professor: "Fry can't know anything about the mission, if he finds out, the worms will try to defend themselves. They know everything he knows."
Bender: "they know how to make ice cream soup?"

Humourbot: "Then he said, 'meet SuperCollider,' Super collide her?! I just met her"

http://www.gotfuturama.com/Multimedi.../3ACV13/19.mp3Silon & Garfunkel

Mr Smith: "Haha, a casino where I'm winning? A car must have killed me, I must be .. in heaven! ... A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be .. in hell!"
Speaker: "No Mr Smith, you are not in heaven or hell. You are on an air plane."
Mr Smith: "There is a gremlin destroying the plane! You've gotta believe me!"
Speaker: "Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!"
Mr Smith: "Noo! Eva Braun, help me! Aaaaargh!"
Bender: "Saw it comin'"


Fry: "These new hands are great! I'm gonna break them in tonight."

80s Guy: "There are two kinds of people. Sheep and sharks. Anyone who is a sheep is fired. Who is a sheep?"
Zoidberg: "Errr, excuse me... which is the one people like to hug?"


Fry: "Wow! Check out that guy! He makes Speedy Gonzales look like regular Gonzales."

Morgan: Why is there yoghurt in this cap?
Fry: I can explain! You see, it used to be milk, and, well, time makes fools of us all.

"Full price for gum?! That dog won't hunt, Monsenior."

"Its just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?"

"Everyone's always in favour of saving Hitler's brain. But when you put it in the body of a great white shark, ooohh! Suddenly you've gone too far!"

[Sheriff Rhys Chatham]

I love futurama!

When fry is talking about being new to the future:

Fry: Everything in the future is so diffrent; "Admiral Crunch?"

something like that.
Also the episode when the guys get captured by the feminist cavewomen and they are about to be tortured to death by sex the small green guys gets all scared.

the captain then says "what are you gay?", just the way that he says it akes it funny.

[johnnywinternoshow]

caffinated bacon?! baconated grapefruit?!

[fishmonkey]

 

"BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS"

by the one and only Bender

[Alex's Trip]

Fry Where is your bathroom?
Bender what room?
Fry Bathroom
Bender My bath what?
Fry Bathroom
Bender What what?

Beck Hurry up, bender, we got to get to the concert and make everyone wait for it to start.

Cubert Alcohol Makes you stupid.
Fry No I'm...doesn't

Old Man You can crush me but you can't crush my spirit.
*crush*
Old Man Ah! My spirit!

Leela They weren't Cheering for me, they were cheering at me.

[johnnywinternoshow]

heh, i like that old guy and his polygamy

[Everyneurotic]

bender: namhh...kill all humans...must kill, all humans
fry: bender, wake up!!
bender: i was having the most wonderful dream, and i think you were in it
(later)
bender: hey, sexy mama; wanna go out and kill all humans

calculon: i have been all the great robot actors in history: acting unit n° 001, acting unit n°508, david duchovny...

bender: you are the kind of guy who go to jerusalem and doesn't visit the sexeteria
(later)
bender: and next year in jerusalem

prof franswarth: great zombie jesus!

bender: oh yeah? well i'm going to build my own amusement park with blackjack and hookers!! in fact, forget about the park!

bender: do i preach to you when you are lying face down in a gutter? noo...

fry: what if slurm is made out of people!!!
leela: nah, there's already one like that: soilent cola
fry: and how is it?
leela: it varies from person to person

when bender is singing "gloria" by them except he changes it to: b-e-n-d-e-r/bee-eender!

bender: so long coffin-stuffers!!! (falls out of mini car) would any of you coffin-stuffers mind taking me to the head museum?

bart simpson doll: eat my shorts!
bender: ok!!...mmmm, shorts

tv: here is taranga leela
fry: taranga?
amy: yes, philip
bender: philip?

fry: one gajillion dollars!!
crowd: oohhh!!
auctioneer: sir, that's not a real amount of money
fry: oh, then one million dollars

fry. nobody drove in the 20th century, there was too much traffic

leela: do you know what this tablet means?
fry: yeah, i asked a policeman once, it means "up yours"

[Glice]

Brannigen: I have a very sexy disease. Kif, what do I call it?
Kif: (Shudders) Sexlexia sir.

B: Leela, you've come crawling back on your knees like a bird
L: Birds don't crawl
B: They've been known to.

[some inaccuracies inevitable, my memory's terrible]

[xpresswaytoyrskull]

Fry - I feel like I was mauled by Jesus

[trance feeeedback]

Fry: so you guys don't belive in Robot Jesus?
Robot Rabbi: We belive he was a robot, and a well programed robot, but not are messiah!

Hermes: We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big, and evil! Ours is small, and neutral.
"that guy": Switzerland is small and neutral. We're more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood

[Glice]

Originally Posted by trance feeeedback

Fry: so you guys don't belive in Robot Jesus?
Robot Rabbi: We belive he was a robot, and a well programed robot, but not are messiah!

One of very many Jewish jokes in the show; there's another one in the bot-mitzvah (hoho) scene where the sign behind says 'now you are a robot' in Hebrew.

[HaydenAsche]

Leela(?): What took you so long?
Bender: Well, I was giving the professor a walk and this crazy lady started running at me accusing me of stealing her purse so I threw the professor at her. It didn't stop her though and I had to throw this purse I found at her.

[Dan]

It's tough but:

Zoidberg: You music is bad and you should feel bad!

Farnsworth: The professy will help!

Bender: Hey everybody, do The Bender! This one's called The Bender!

Fry: And another thing, you're using an awful lot of makeup here
Amy: Fry, this is deoderant
Fry: What does it do?

Alien Ball: The elders tell of a young ball much like you. He bounced 3 meters in the air. Then he bounced 1.8 meters in the air. Then he bounced 4 METERS in the air. Do I make myself clear?

Fry: I'll be whatever I wanna do!

[dietzer123]

zapf: ladies, please. the spirit is willing but the flesh is spongey, bruised

[Proud Marie]

Zoidburg: I wasnt able to locate your dorsal fin after the crash.
Fry: Will I be able to live without it?
Zoidburg: If you call that living!

Robot Satan: If you win the fiddling contest, I'll let you have this gold fiddle and I'll let you go.
Leela: And if we lose?
Robot Satan: Then I'll let you have this silver fiddle and I suppose Ill kill one of you...

[marleypumpkin]

Fry- "It's like that movie I saw about a drug trip when I was on that drug trip."

[johnnywinternoshow]

Bender: "I'll avenge you master. I swear, in the presence of these drunken bums that I shall defeat Elzar!"
Hobo: "Ohh, I'm not drunk. I'm mentally ill. But I likes what-what you said."

Professor: "Good lord! According to the spectralizer, Spargel's magic ingredient was ... water! Ordinary water!"
Crew: "HU! NO!"
Fry: "Ah, so the real gift Spargel gave you was confidence. The confidence to be your best."
Professor: "Yes, ordinary water. Laced with nothing more than a few spoons full of LSD."

Marv Albert: *bang* "Yeees! He's really showing us what a man with a cannon in his chest can do!"

Fry: "All right… It's Saturday night. I have no date, a two liter bottle of Shasta and my all rush mix tape. Let's rock!"

Hedonism bot : "Let the games...begin!"

Hedonism Bot: We shall party like the Greeks of old!
[lowers voice]
Hedonism Bot: You know the ones I mean.

[Alex's Trip]

Hedonism bot rules.

[noumenal]

Donovan: Atlanta was a city, landlocked,
Hundreds of miles from the area we now call the atlantic ocean.
Yet so desperate the city's desire for tourism
That they moved offshore, becoming an island and an even bigger delta hub
Until the city overdeveloped and it started to sink.
Knowing their fate, the quality people ran away:
Ted Turner, Hank Aaron, Jeff Foxworthy, the guy who invented Coca Cola, the Magician
And the other so-called gods of our legends, though gods they were,
And also Jane Fonda was there.
The others chose to remain behind on their porches with their rifles
And one day evolving to mermaids and sing and dance and ring in the new.

[Spanks]

Zap Brannigan:I find the most erotic part of a girl her boobies