In no particular order:

Wolf Eyes & Anthony Braxton - Black Vomit
Rough Trade: Labels Unlimited Rob Young
Frango & Dansse Damaje - fuentezfuentezfuentez
Osso - Solto EP
Loosers - Otha Goat Head/Endlosung
CAVEIRA - Cena Espírita/Quebranto
Ecstatic Sunshine - Freckle Wars
The Curtains - Calamity
Whirlwind Heat - Types of Wood
Chin Up Chin Up - This Harness Can't Ride Anything
kill your Idols
Drift
Big Big Car - Limestone Throne/Kid Figh
Forget Cassettes - Salt
The Invasion Of Thunderbolt Pagoda
Sonic Transmission: Television: Tom Verlaine, Richard Hell
Galaxie 500: Don't Let Our Youth Go to Waste
Wooden Octopus Skull: Experimental Musick Festival 2006
Cat Scientist - Cicada
The Ohsees - The Cool death of Island Raiders

(...)

[king_buzzo]

santa!!!!

[sonicl]

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy all year. To encourage me to do the same next year, please can I have:

Sonic Youth - B-sides/rarities compilation CD
Sugababes - Best of CD
Einstuerzende Neubauten - Palast der Republik DVD
A subscription to The Wire magazine
A subscription to Rock-A-Rolla magazine

Thank you.

[Trasher02]

I hate to burst yr bubbles but Santa doesn't excist.

[king_buzzo]

*cries

[sonicl]

Originally Posted by Trasher02

I hate to burst yr bubbles but Santa doesn't excist.

Prove it, imp killer!

[Trasher02]

Originally Posted by sonicl

Prove it, imp killer!

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world.

However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau).

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical).

This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are not talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3,000 times the speed of sound.

For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.

On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -Santa would need 360,000 of them.

This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.

The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's.

A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. MERRY CHISTMAS!!!

[king_buzzo]

Originally Posted by Trasher02

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. MERRY CHISTMAS!!!

*cries again

[fishmonkey]

hey santa clause ya cunt
where me fuckin bike
i opened all the other things
theres nothing that i like
i wrote ya a fuckin letter
went to see you twice
you wino jereactrick bastard
wheres me fuckin bike.

[sonicl]

I can't beleive that all you cynics are willing to risk insulting Santa. Okay, so if he doesn't exist he wouldn't bring you any presents anyway, but just suppose he does - he'll have probably just struck you off his list for being a non-believer, and you won't get anything nice for Christmas, all you'll get will be a satsuma and a walnut.

AND THAT'S ALL YOU'LL FUCKING DESERVE!!!