i found a neck in the woods

Crumb's Crunchy Delights · 06.21.2011, 05:12 PM

so i found somebodys neck in the woods yesterday. it wasnt attached to a body (or a head) and it was gruesome

tell a story about something that happened to you that sounds like a well known phrase or saying

auto-aim · 06.21.2011, 05:22 PM

I put wheat inside my pants once and it chafed!

Dr. Eugene Felikson · 06.21.2011, 06:12 PM

I jerked off onto a church once. True story.

artsygrrl · 06.21.2011, 07:48 PM

I gave a bj to someone in a dressing room at K-Mart's once. And no, it wasn't Martha Stewart.
I know, irrelevant.

knox · 06.21.2011, 10:50 PM

artsygrrl

that's a great story, seriously. i tried doing it in a club's toilet once and the security guard in 2 minutes, so kudos.

so let's listen to the bets song in the world

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Al9blQOhNw

Pookie · 06.22.2011, 04:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knox

so let's listen to the bets song in the world

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Al9blQOhNw

I think you meant to link to this song.

knox · 06.22.2011, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pookie

I think you meant to link to this song.

mmm

no

floatingslowly · 06.22.2011, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knox

artsygrrl

that's a great story, seriously. i tried doing it in a club's toilet once and the security guard in 2 minutes, so kudos.

so let's listen to the bets song in the world

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Al9blQOhNw

I'm still working this one out....

"tried doing it in a club's toilet" (nasty, but I get it).

"and the security guard in 2 minutes" is what's stumping me.

either: you did someone in a toilet and then a security guard two minute later or the security guard only took two minutes to do OR you were busted after only two minutes of your nasty (and I assume loud) club toilet business.

quantum mechanics tell me that in an infinite universe all of the above happened simultaneously, with the only given constant being the speed of light, you, a toilet and a security guard.

knox · 06.22.2011, 09:36 AM

Ok.
I apologise for last night's drinking.
I think the security guard saw me getting into the toilet with my then boyfriend.
I think he waited 2 minutes and concluded it wasn't cocaine we were doing in there.
So started knocking on the door.
Saying 'get the fuck out you two, NOW'

floatingslowly · 06.22.2011, 09:46 AM

how disappointingly anti-climatic for both you and this story.

knox · 06.22.2011, 09:47 AM

I know.
But in a different reality the security guard was cute and joined in.

floatingslowly · 06.22.2011, 09:48 AM

that said: take note, men, women are turned on by nasty toilets.

floatingslowly · 06.22.2011, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knox

I know.
But in a different reality the security guard was cute and joined in.

you sucked them both off? you minx!

knox · 06.22.2011, 09:51 AM

Should we start talking about toilets now?

Keeping It Simple · 06.22.2011, 10:20 AM

Toilet humour sucks.

floatingslowly · 06.22.2011, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knox

Should we start talking about toilets now?

my germaphobia won't let me go much further. I'll stand guard outside.

artsygrrl · 06.22.2011, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knox

artsygrrl

that's a great story, seriously. i tried doing it in a club's toilet once and the security guard in 2 minutes, so kudos.

so let's listen to the bets song in the world

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Al9blQOhNw

haha. Thanks, knox. Makes me wonder if the surveilence camera video is shown every year at the annual staff X-mas party.
BTW, best song ever!

floatingslowly · 06.22.2011, 10:57 AM

I take that back. I just had an incident worth pondering.

I drink a lot of coffee. invariably, after a few hours, I have to drain. just now, while pissing, I had a lady try the knob. when that didn't work, she knocked, tried the knob again (violently) and then started banging. I'd been in there less than 30 seconds.

my question is: who the fuck does this shit? if the door is locked, chances are it's occupied and all of your frantic banging won't make me piss any fucking faster.

it's ocupado, bitch.

floatingslowly · 06.22.2011, 11:28 AM

at home, I'll piss in the fucking sink. at work, I've failed to lock the door enough that I'm now positively anal about.

I don't mind the lady's sly grins over my gigantic leaking lovetube; it's the creepy guys I can do without.

knox · 06.22.2011, 03:18 PM

one can't help but notice the enthusiasm you share when it comes to sharing bathroom stories (thinking about each other's penis)

06.21.2011, 05:12 PM	#1
Crumb's Crunchy Delights expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: okie's in the pokie Posts: 1,352	so i found somebodys neck in the woods yesterday. it wasnt attached to a body (or a head) and it was gruesome tell a story about something that happened to you that sounds like a well known phrase or saying __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.21.2011, 05:22 PM	#2
auto-aim the destroyed room Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Wales Posts: 650	I put wheat inside my pants once and it chafed! __________________ His Naked Torso
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.21.2011, 06:12 PM	#3
Dr. Eugene Felikson invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,571	I jerked off onto a church once. True story.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.21.2011, 07:48 PM	#4
artsygrrl the end of the ugly Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan, USA Posts: 961	I gave a bj to someone in a dressing room at K-Mart's once. And no, it wasn't Martha Stewart. I know, irrelevant.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.21.2011, 10:50 PM	#5
knox invito al cielo Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 5,255	artsygrrl that's a great story, seriously. i tried doing it in a club's toilet once and the security guard in 2 minutes, so kudos. so let's listen to the bets song in the world http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Al9blQOhNw __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.22.2011, 09:36 AM	#9
knox invito al cielo Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 5,255	Ok. I apologise for last night's drinking. I think the security guard saw me getting into the toilet with my then boyfriend. I think he waited 2 minutes and concluded it wasn't cocaine we were doing in there. So started knocking on the door. Saying 'get the fuck out you two, NOW' __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.22.2011, 09:46 AM	#10
floatingslowly invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 21,165	how disappointingly anti-climatic for both you and this story.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.22.2011, 09:47 AM	#11
knox invito al cielo Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 5,255	I know. But in a different reality the security guard was cute and joined in. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.22.2011, 09:48 AM	#12
floatingslowly invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 21,165	that said: take note, men, women are turned on by nasty toilets.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.22.2011, 09:51 AM	#14
knox invito al cielo Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 5,255	Should we start talking about toilets now? __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.22.2011, 10:20 AM	#15
Keeping It Simple invito al cielo Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 3,721	Toilet humour sucks.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.22.2011, 10:57 AM	#18
floatingslowly invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 21,165	I take that back. I just had an incident worth pondering. I drink a lot of coffee. invariably, after a few hours, I have to drain. just now, while pissing, I had a lady try the knob. when that didn't work, she knocked, tried the knob again (violently) and then started banging. I'd been in there less than 30 seconds. my question is: who the fuck does this shit? if the door is locked, chances are it's occupied and all of your frantic banging won't make me piss any fucking faster. it's ocupado, bitch.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.22.2011, 11:28 AM	#19
floatingslowly invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 21,165	at home, I'll piss in the fucking sink. at work, I've failed to lock the door enough that I'm now positively anal about. I don't mind the lady's sly grins over my gigantic leaking lovetube; it's the creepy guys I can do without.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

06.22.2011, 03:18 PM	#20
knox invito al cielo Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 5,255	one can't help but notice the enthusiasm you share when it comes to sharing bathroom stories (thinking about each other's penis) __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|