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Old 06.21.2015, 12:01 PM   #1
evollove
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evollove kicks all y'all's assesevollove kicks all y'all's assesevollove kicks all y'all's assesevollove kicks all y'all's assesevollove kicks all y'all's assesevollove kicks all y'all's assesevollove kicks all y'all's assesevollove kicks all y'all's assesevollove kicks all y'all's assesevollove kicks all y'all's assesevollove kicks all y'all's asses
https://twitter.com/JimIsabellaWNIR

Idiot host of a popular local talk radio show, target of a failed SYG prank (thanks again, Bytor).

 



I don't care what Limbaugh or Fox does, because I know Daily Show, etc. will take care of things. But this guy goes unchecked and it's starting to annoy me. He's on the most powerful talk radio station in the area, it's all the stupid end of conservative, and there's no one to make fun of it all.

So I need tweets. A bunch.

By all means, you do NOT have to listen to help out. Just release your inner Colbert.

my first tweet, as an example:

Drivers faster than me are speed-demons, those slower than me are slow-pokes. Get with it dummies. Am I the only one who can drive right?


Yes. Not very good. I agree. Like I said, I need help.

PM, email or post here to amuse everyone.
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Old 06.22.2015, 02:27 PM   #2
evollove
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Fine. I'll make it easier.

Setup:

Dr. says my hatred of Obama is ruining my health.


What's the punchline? I suck at this.

Also, I could use a good one about the Confederate flag.
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Old 06.22.2015, 02:51 PM   #3
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je suis désolé mon ami, mais je ne suis capable de t'aider parce que je ne connais pas ce con la.
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Old 06.22.2015, 08:43 PM   #4
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!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Schunk

And WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!!!!! (Con? Are you kidding? Be mindful of your dignity!)
mais quelle connerie! c'est qu'il vous manque ce le contexte, mon vieux. abandonnez-vous le googletranslate.
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Old 06.22.2015, 09:13 PM   #5
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!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Schunk
Well, I needed no help from Googletranslate to give you these lyrics to this song:

A summons burst forth from the Hall of Thunder
Clear as a sword and proud as a boast
"To the Rhine, To the Rhine, to the German Rhine!"
To whom do the homes along that stream belong?

Dear Fatherland, thou mayest be at peace!
Dear Fatherland, thou mayest be at peace!
The watch upon the Rhine stands fast and true!
The watch upon the Rhine stands fast and true!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZujhoHZBsg


 
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Old 06.23.2015, 08:19 AM   #6
evollove
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Merde.

Worst thread ever?

Too bad. Last night the topics were: "It's just a flag. A piece of cloth. Get over it people." And Obama's a racist for using the "n-word."

This guy deserves satire, but unfortunately I'm not all that funny. Best tweet so far:

If I think about Ronald Reagan when I masturbate, is it still a sin?
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Old 06.23.2015, 08:32 AM   #7
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!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses
ha ha ha

it's okay. probably a waste of energy hating a fucker who should just be ignored anyway.

unless you're colbert, and then you can make millions. OR unless he's right in front of you and you can punch him on the no-neck.

seriously, where the fuck is his neck located.

anyway, frank reynolds is a lot more fun to watch

 
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Old 06.23.2015, 09:37 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%!
probably a waste of energy hating a fucker who should just be ignored anyway.

Yeah, but I'm arrogant and have some free time, so I have taken it upon myself to poke fun at a bully. Not the most useless hobby I can think of.

Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%!
anyway, frank reynolds is a lot more fun to watch

True.


Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%!
seriously, where the fuck is his neck located.


Ha! See, there's a joke there. I'm just not comedic-minded enough to find it. Something like, "How can I be a redneck when I have no neck?" But, y'know, funnier.
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Old 06.23.2015, 09:40 AM   #9
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right-- if you want to destroy him just do what comes naturally--angry letters to the editor, probably? or hex his colon like vincent gallo threatened to do with ebert.

but don't let him destroy you. well, rage is a prime whiskey, to paraphrase alan dugan. so i see the pleasure.

"i wanted to punch the fucker in the neck, but i had to give up after 20 minutes of looking for it"

badum-tshhhh
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Old 06.23.2015, 10:41 AM   #10
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I like it. I'll use a variation of that, if you don't mind.

Yes, he pisses me off, but this is more about fun. I plan on calling in tonight, and instead of yelling or pointing out some logic flaw or whatever, I intend to simply ask if he can remember the last time he could see his penis without the aid of a full-length mirror.
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Old 06.23.2015, 10:44 AM   #11
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Take deep breaths and let it go, evollove. People like this exist because people like you (and others, like symbol-man and I) exist, and in a way, that should help you feel better. It validates our existence and what we believe in.

Beyond that, pay attention to your breath as it slowly leaves your nostrils and imagine extending lovingkindness to all beings, even this particularly hateful being.
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Old 06.23.2015, 11:05 AM   #12
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Your wisdom and maturity makes me sad.
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Old 06.23.2015, 11:28 AM   #13
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It makes me sad, too, actually. Oh, to be 51 again.
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Old 06.25.2015, 12:55 PM   #14
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Opting for the childish route, I've been calling all week. Just little pranks. They aren't funny and he hangs up right away, but what's hilarious is the few minutes he spends after the call. "You're what's wrong with America," etc.

Last night's was a doozy. He now knows my voice, I guess. I got exactly five words out before he hung up. Then came the rant which ended with, "You're not getting famous off me. You wanna get famous? Why not get a gun and shoot yourself?"

Should I contact the authorities?
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Old 06.25.2015, 01:37 PM   #15
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SuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's asses
Guy has 8 tweets.. don't waste your time. Troll bigger fish yo, let this troll live under his very small bridge in peace. His own internal divisions will lead to his own collapse, we don't need to facilitate it any further.. its own inherent inconsistencies and lack of touch with reality will destroy itself.
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Old 06.25.2015, 01:55 PM   #16
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-Only 8 tweets because I'm not funny. I'm still happy to take suggestions.

-I can't believe no one else sees the humor in this. Yeah, he can piss me off, but he's a foolish figure and a perfectly fine target for comedy.

But man. He told me to kill myself!

Quote:
Originally Posted by PLips
ask him how the price of pork affects his stomache

Perfect! I need to disguise my voice and use that next time he schools us all on the economy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuchFriendsAreDangerous
its own inherent inconsistencies and lack of touch with reality will destroy itself.

Yeah, but I'd like to speed up the process. With humor.
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Old 06.25.2015, 02:13 PM   #17
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SuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's assesSuchFriendsAreDangerous kicks all y'all's asses
oh wait, that is YOUR account you posted? Post a link to THAT guy's twitter, I will troll battle him for ya
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Old 06.25.2015, 02:53 PM   #18
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!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses
Quote:
Originally Posted by evollove
-Only 8 tweets because I'm not funny. I'm still happy to take suggestions.

-I can't believe no one else sees the humor in this. Yeah, he can piss me off, but he's a foolish figure and a perfectly fine target for comedy.

But man. He told me to kill myself!

that can very quickly degenerate into a "talk radio" situation. remember that movie, with bogosian/gagosian/whatsisname?
*blam*
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Old 06.25.2015, 02:55 PM   #19
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!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses
okay here's one here's one

-you told me to kill myself

- i did. you're a pinko parasite [or something]

- i'm not going to kill myself. but i think you want to kill yourself

-no i do not, my life is precious and i would never take it

- come on, everybody know you're trying to kill yourself with cheeseburgers. just own it. publicly. commit cheeseburger harakiri one week from now. do it. on the air. if you are a man, as you claim.
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Old 06.25.2015, 03:02 PM   #20
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!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses
maybe i'm invoking too powerful elementals here, but if you wanted this to go viral, and really flood the guy and make his life impossible, you need to post it on 4chan-- at your own risk, of course.

it takes a different sort of language to appeal to such forces though, so i'd suggest you go & watch them operate a bit before doing anything there.
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