Signs you bought a bad Christmas tree

Tokolosh · 12.24.2006, 07:14 AM

1. It's constantly bragging about its "trunk size"
2. Some guy named Mujibur puts a crappy Statue of Liberty on top of it
3. Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours
4. It's very small and says "Air Freshener" on it
5. It keeps heckling while you try to do a lame top ten list10. It's two feet tall, forty feet wide
6. Each branch has "Duraflame" printed on it
7. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride
8. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers stuck into it
9. Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?"
10. It's two feet tall, forty feet wide

(Source: Top Ten Lists from LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN) years ago

How's your tree doing?

Hip Priest · 12.24.2006, 07:17 AM

11 It explodes in your face.
12 Its possessed by the spirit of a demon.

We've avoided all of those things though, and our tree is very fine indeed.

ploesj · 12.24.2006, 07:20 AM

13. you sneeze and suddenly it's just a bunch of branches.

k-krack · 12.24.2006, 12:10 PM

14. The salesman kept replying with, "That's how it's supposed to be!"

Пятхъдесят Шест · 12.24.2006, 12:11 PM

My tree is fake. Eh.

Inhuman · 12.24.2006, 12:20 PM

15. A nearby bluejay makes a shitnest in the tree and lives in it

SpectralJulianIsNotDead · 12.24.2006, 12:28 PM

We just put up the tree on friday. It's real. Not a single ornament on it yet.

k-krack · 12.24.2006, 12:31 PM

Ours is fake, has been for years.

Inhuman · 12.24.2006, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k-krack

Ours is fake, has been for years.

There's pros and cons to fake trees thaough. I haveaa fake one now, which is decent because at least we're not murdering an innocent tree, but then again don't you just love the smell of that stuff that christmas trere smells like?

Prisstina · 12.24.2006, 01:18 PM

We've never had a real Christmas tree. The one we've had for the last 15 years is one of those where you match the color/letter of the branch with the slots in the base. Horrible. Scratches you and leaves fake needles everywhere.

SynthethicalY · 12.24.2006, 01:27 PM

We have trees for christmas?

screamingskull · 12.24.2006, 01:33 PM

ours is fake and tiny.

atsonicpark · 12.24.2006, 03:36 PM

if a sonic youth fan bought that tree, it's probably built from feedback skronk.

EMMAh · 12.24.2006, 04:32 PM

Mine pretty much qualifies for "It's two feet tall, forty feet wide" It's a cute tree but the lights my mom bought look like Mexican Fiesta colours, I miss the old lights.

cryptowonderdruginvogue · 12.24.2006, 04:33 PM

i have a beautiful tree, but no one to sit around it with...

le sigh.

k-krack · 12.24.2006, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inhuman

There's pros and cons to fake trees thaough. I haveaa fake one now, which is decent because at least we're not murdering an innocent tree, but then again don't you just love the smell of that stuff that christmas trere smells like?

I wouldn't know what it smells like...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prisstina

We've never had a real Christmas tree. The one we've had for the last 15 years is one of those where you match the color/letter of the branch with the slots in the base. Horrible. Scratches you and leaves fake needles everywhere.

Exact same for us! I think we've had it around 15 years, and it's the same description! Woo!

EMMAh · 12.24.2006, 07:22 PM

Real trees are way better. We get ours from my grandparents house (they own 90 acres) My grandpa has certain ones he wont let anyone cut down though, he knows his stuff.

Keeping It Simple · 12.07.2009, 04:00 PM

I love those fibre optic xmas trees.

ploesj · 12.07.2009, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nefeli

my tree is fake also. just now "finished" decorating it. used also my mother's red wooden apple balls!

you use your mother's balls to decorate your tree? that's evil!

12.24.2006, 07:14 AM	#1
Tokolosh invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Plaza de Toros Posts: 6,731	1. It's constantly bragging about its "trunk size" 2. Some guy named Mujibur puts a crappy Statue of Liberty on top of it 3. Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours 4. It's very small and says "Air Freshener" on it 5. It keeps heckling while you try to do a lame top ten list10. It's two feet tall, forty feet wide 6. Each branch has "Duraflame" printed on it 7. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride 8. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers stuck into it 9. Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?" 10. It's two feet tall, forty feet wide (Source: Top Ten Lists from LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN) years ago How's your tree doing? __________________ Anything you can /imagine is real
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12.24.2006, 07:17 AM	#2
Hip Priest invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Birkenhead Posts: 9,397	11 It explodes in your face. 12 Its possessed by the spirit of a demon. We've avoided all of those things though, and our tree is very fine indeed. __________________ Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. http://www.flickr.com/photos/outsidethecamp/
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12.24.2006, 07:20 AM	#3
ploesj invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: antwerp. Posts: 2,901	13. you sneeze and suddenly it's just a bunch of branches. __________________ blog flickr
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12.24.2006, 12:10 PM	#4
k-krack invito al cielo Join Date: May 2006 Location: On Posts: 7,380	14. The salesman kept replying with, "That's how it's supposed to be!" __________________ sandwich klub 4 men. Danny is a C.H.U.D.
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12.24.2006, 12:11 PM	#5
Пятхъдесят Шест invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Omaha, Nebraska, USA Posts: 3,063	My tree is fake. Eh.
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12.24.2006, 12:20 PM	#6
Inhuman invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Montreal Posts: 5,807	15. A nearby bluejay makes a shitnest in the tree and lives in it __________________ Inhuman no longer dwells on here. http://about.me/robinbastien
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12.24.2006, 12:28 PM	#7
SpectralJulianIsNotDead invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 7,409	We just put up the tree on friday. It's real. Not a single ornament on it yet.
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12.24.2006, 12:31 PM	#8
k-krack invito al cielo Join Date: May 2006 Location: On Posts: 7,380	Ours is fake, has been for years. __________________ sandwich klub 4 men. Danny is a C.H.U.D.
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12.24.2006, 01:18 PM	#10
Prisstina the end of the ugly Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Killwaukee Posts: 996	We've never had a real Christmas tree. The one we've had for the last 15 years is one of those where you match the color/letter of the branch with the slots in the base. Horrible. Scratches you and leaves fake needles everywhere. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.24.2006, 01:27 PM	#11
SynthethicalY invito al cielo Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 7,408	We have trees for christmas?
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12.24.2006, 01:33 PM	#12
screamingskull invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: england Posts: 5,580	ours is fake and tiny.
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12.24.2006, 03:36 PM	#13
atsonicpark invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 28,843	if a sonic youth fan bought that tree, it's probably built from feedback skronk. __________________
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12.24.2006, 04:32 PM	#14
EMMAh invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,433	Mine pretty much qualifies for "It's two feet tall, forty feet wide" It's a cute tree but the lights my mom bought look like Mexican Fiesta colours, I miss the old lights. __________________
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12.24.2006, 04:33 PM	#15
cryptowonderdruginvogue invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: the party Posts: 10,281	i have a beautiful tree, but no one to sit around it with... le sigh.
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12.24.2006, 07:22 PM	#17
EMMAh invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 5,433	Real trees are way better. We get ours from my grandparents house (they own 90 acres) My grandpa has certain ones he wont let anyone cut down though, he knows his stuff. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.07.2009, 04:00 PM	#18
Keeping It Simple invito al cielo Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 3,721	I love those fibre optic xmas trees.
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