[MellySingsDoom]

OK, people. Let's see if we can figure out who has perpetrated the worst cover versions of all time. My modest proposals would be:

1. Wet Wet Wet "Love Is All Around" (original by The Troggs) - A horrific molesting of the previously inoffensive Troggs tune by the fake soul Scots, including one Marti "Cuntface" Pellow. Famous in the UK for spending about 4 months at number one, and for being in that damn "Four Weddings and a Dildo" film.

2. Sam Moore and Lou Reed "Soul Man" (original by Sam and Dave) - OK, so we have a film about a white douchbag who decides to black up just so he can get a college scholarship. So what song should soundtrack this racist tosh? Ah yes, a lame reading of "Soul Man", done by Sam Moore and that funky soul brother Lou Reed. Yes, Lou "mumble putdown" Reed. The video of said monstrosity features Reed laying down vocals in the studio, complete with mirror shades and mullet. "You ain't seen....nuthin' yit!" Barf!

3. The Soup Dragons "I'm Free" (orig. by Rolling Stones) - Where this previoulsy whiter-than-white group suddenly discover their reggae and dance heritage, and decide to baggy-up one of the Stone's lesser efforts. Hear - funky wah-wah guitar and Happy Mondays style drumming...wow! See - the lead singer making a complete cunt of himself on national TV! Gasp - as an 'indie' group sucks deep on the corporate cock to get a top 20 hit.

4. Mick Jagger and David Bowie "Dancing In The Streets (orig. by Martha and The Vandellas" - Destroying this song for charity should not excuse Dames Mick and Dave. Imagine a couple of pissed forty-somethings shouting this out at a local karaoke, and wearing hideous designer coats. That's all I remember of the video. Well that, and Mike Read saying how great it was on 'Going Live'. Jagger should have been killed for this, whilst Bowie should have been sent into exile to, let's say, Mongolia.