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Originally Posted by contrelefuckingsexisme

I've told you about that exam I am taking. It's on Wednesday and Thursday.
I've noticed during last week that I've had like this different three hundred emotional feelings. Needless to say that I usually get those kind of feelings when I go to bed knowing I have something to do during the following days. It's weird, but I don't feel like that when I am completely free on holidays. My real holidays would be starting right after I take the Speaking test on Thursday's afternoon, and I think I'll keep on feeling like shit until that moment comes. I hate it.
The thing is that on Tuesday I felt bad; Headaches, couldn't sleep at all, etc.
That same Tuesday I spoke with a girl from my english course who's taking the exam too. She goes to University and has ten thousand of other exams to take, so that is why she is not really nervous about that stupid english exam.
I was not nervous about the one from last year because I felt I could manage that level well, and pass it without much trouble, but this year's level is much more complex and that makes me feel like shit.
On Wednesday I felt I was over it and slept well, and such. The same happened on Thursday. But on Friday's night I started feeling bad again...I went to bed quite early and slept till late on Saturday. But still wanted to keep on sleeping, so after lunch I went to bed for a siesta. I might have been sleeping for about 5 hours more until my parents woke me up to go for a walk. Even while taking the walk I felt like sleeping, and that my head was about to explode, so that got me in a really nasty mood. I didn't want anything, didn't speak to anyone, didn't say "yes" to anything I would usually say "yes" to ( I even said "no" to purchasing a Camera Obscura album I really want .)
So I got home and a friend had to come up with the fucking exam topic online... that's when I started crying because I felt so sick and tired... My father came to say something "funny" about King Crimson and my dog and bleh, and started asking why I was crying so I told him it was because of my headache. blah blah blah, after dinner he told me to go for another walk. I said yes but it didn't make any difference. I still felt like shit when I came back. I went to bed with a terrible headache again, and woke up OK today, even though it's aching again ( I guess I need a little nap .)
But I don't know what's up with my head anymore. I can be horrible today, OK tomorrow, fucked up tomorrow night, OK, fucked, sleepy, horrible altogether.

hey contre sorry to hear. whereas i am mostly a slacker in real life, i'm an ace when it comes to test exams and all manner of crap.

the reason i can do that is because I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT, in other words, i'll study hard, even be a little nervous, etc, but my main thought when i take big exams is IM GLAD THIS CRAP IS OVER CAN I GO TO THE BEACH NOW?

give yourself a break, a little-- a little stress improves performance but too much stress will fuck you up. get a good sleep, a decent breakfast, and try to have fun.

if this doesn't work maybe you need to be TOTALLY depressed so you can hit bottom & discover something. if that is the case, i suggest you read hermann hesse's "beneath the wheel" or as you'll find in an alianza editorial title "bajo las ruedas". it's about this kid who all he does is studies and then he cracks up.

anyway don't worry much you are VERY smart and exams are overrated. seriously.