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- Jamie Oliver replaced with a pot plant (sort immaterial)
- Cyclist's lycra replaced with a looser more befitting fabric (tweed, perhaps?)
- Awkward silences replaced with a round of high-fives.
- Social commentary beginning, 'What's the deal with...' replaced with silence/ high-fives (as appropriate)
- The personnel of the Australian cricket team replaced with that of the Dutch cricket team.
- 'Trendy' classical concerts replaced with good ones.
- The last thing in the fridge at party being cider replaced with an endless supply of port at all parties.
- My Sunday ritual of hyperactive children complaining of being bored replaced with enough sleep, a lack of hangover and the lovely kids who inhabited the shits a few years ago.
- Doing jobs for money replaced with being awesome for money (ergo, redressing my bank balance).
- Exorbitant wine bars replaced with decent ale houses (because there really aren't a million of those here [lies])
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Message boards are the last vestige of the spent masturbator, still intent on wasting time in some neg-heroic fashion. Be damned all who sail here.
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Originally Posted by Savage Clone
Last time I was in Chicago I spent an hour in a Nazi submarine with a banjo player.
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