[atsonicpark]

I love erowid. Read this story I found there, if you have time:

...


I was preparing to go to my second San-Francisco rave. I planned on rolling, I had taken my last vitamin preload (2g C, 2000IU E, 2 B-complex pills). I had rolled 8 times prior to this. This was my second week in San Francisco, and pills here are half the price of those in NY, so I figured it would be a nice time to try two.

At 9:00PM I ingested 200mg DXM. I should note that I was(am? haven't done it in awhile but by have no means decided to stop) a weekly DXM user, and this amount presented no psychological effects whatsoever to me(to be safe, 200mg was actually the first amount of DXM I ever took, and even then, I felt no effects), as my threshold is around 260mg. The amount of DXM I took did not cause a noticeable change in temperature or mood, and I do notice feeling much better the next morning if I take a low dose of DXM before rolling.

I got to the party at 10:30 PM (it started at 10:00). There were a surprising number of people so early. I wandered around through the different rooms, settling on the trance room. At around 11, it began getting more crowded, and I purchased two pills (blue walking men). I took the first one immediately. Around 45 minutes later, I begin my 'I'm not feeling anything, these were fake, fuck' ritual that I go through every time, knowing well that I never begin to feel the effects until around 70-80 minutes in. At 12:00 I drop the second pill. 15 minutes later, sure enough, I begin to feel the first pill. It begins with the nausea, then the instant feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off my body; I feel incredibly light, and motion is completely effortless.

I purchase water, and begin drinking (I will drink around 4 bottles of water throughout the night). I am a very shy person, but I get thinking 'come on, you're rolling, stop being shy!', as I normally do. I walk into the chill room and stand by the fan, and am greeted by a cute black girl. We introduce, and I saw she had a freezer-pop in her mouth. I ask where she got it, and she told me the jungle room, and asked me to bring her another one if I was going to get one. I did, and came back. We talked a bit more, she told me a bit about SF parties, then I left to go do some more dancing.

At around 1:00 the second pill hit me fully. Oh my god. I rolled 8 times before this, but never have I felt this way. I realize that all this time, I had been feeling these subtle things that people talk about are so wonderful about E. For example, I would notice things felt different, and liked how they felt different. They didn't directly feel 'good' though. Now though, anything I touched sent a wave of joy though my body. Movement wasn't just easy and effortless, it felt utterly wonderful. I saw across the room that some other girl must have just come up on a pill...she went from slowly half-dancing to beautiful movement in perfect synchrony with the music. Her face went from expressionless to ecstatic. We must have been looking at each other come up, because we exchanged a smile that held for at least 10 seconds, and then returned to dancing.

I returned to the other girl, who was still sitting by the fan (we will call her A). I must have had a huge grin on my face, because she laughed when she saw me. I sat next to her, right by the fan. She was with this other guy, and I didn't know what their status was, so I was just talking to her, not hitting on her at all. But while talking, she put her arm around my neck, and began massaging my back... again, on my previous rolls I had felt 'oh, I'm rolling, this should feel good', and so it did. This time, each rub produced the sensation of an orgasm throughout my entire body. Just as I was wondering what the guy she was with thought of this, he began massaging the guy standing next to him...at which point I realized, I was indeed fine.

Also, unlike after only a single pill where I had to somewhat push myself to not be shy...I was eager to talk to people. I was comfortable and proud of myself, and saw no reason not to share my happiness with those nearby who seemed to be interested in meeting people.

A and I then got up and moved to a room with music. We exchanged positions, and I massaged her. She turned around and kissed me... we kissed for several minutes, and it felt wonderful. Unfortunately, she had to leave early... I wasn't sure if I said something that turned her off, or she actually had to leave, and I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable...so stupid me didn't ask for her number, taking the pessimistic/careful choice. But fear not, 5 minutes later I saw the guy she was with, who informed me 'hey, A wanted you to call her...here is her number'. This was around 3.

I went back to the chill room and met some new people. After a few minutes, one of them mentioned 'why is it so hard to find a pipe? No one has one'. They had been looking for a pipe to smoke (weed) from. I had one, and offered it. Obviously, this established me as a member of the circle.

I took 4 hits total of this medical cannabis and decided that was enough for me. I had never smoked while on MDMA before, so I was not sure what to expect. I suspected I would continue to roll, just perhaps be slightly mellower. It seemed like it was going this way...but slowly and surely the roll went away... I was no longer social or had any desire to talk to anyone. My mind was racing. I felt at this time almost exactly as I did on LSD. I had no desire to move, or speak... I sat in the corner, while my mind raced. I cannot emphasize this enough... I was no longer rolling at all, I was full-blown tripping. I should also note that at this point, I became separated from the group I was with.

The party was scheduled to end at 6:00. At around 5:00, I overheard the word 'cops'. I was terrified; cops? NOW? what will I do? I can't get home like this! I asked someone running the party, and they told me not to worry, but sure enough, at 5:30, the music stopped dead, and the lights turned on. I was going to have to leave. The crew asked if some people could help and clean up. I realized, this is it! If I can just stay here for another hour and straighten out, I will be fine. Then I had this image of the police coming in and busting the people cleaning up, claiming they are responsible for the party. While I realize now this thought was completely irrational, the fear of it overwhelmed me, and I decided to leave.

I was alone, and I needed to get home. I knew absolutely nothing about this neighborhood... I had been a party at the same venue the previous weekend, and left at around 4:30 (still dark), and it seemed safe. But for some reason, this time, at 5:30, I walked out, and it seemed terrifying. I walked across the street to the bus stop, and checked my watch... 5:35. The next bus was scheduled to arrive at 5:37. Two minutes...just two minutes and I'm safe...please...please don't let anything happen to me...

It happened. I saw two prostitutes (I saw nothing of this sort my previous time here) walking in one direction, and another opposite. Two looked like transvestite men. After they crossed, they were on opposite sides of me. They turned, looked at each other, and then at me. Oh shit! Get out of there! Stop standing around like a sitting duck! I came to realize I was also the only white person within a 5 block radius. I bolted out perpendicularly to them and ran through the street. A police car was coming to the intersection. I signaled him, and told him 'Officer, is this a safe area? I don't know how I wound up here, but I don't feel safe! I need to get to some place safe!' He said 'where are you trying to go?'. I said 'the caltrain'. He said 'ok but I can't stop here, meet me at the corner'. So I walked on towards the corner, and 2 more police cars follow behind. I was carrying my pipe and a 1/8th of weed, and began to think, 'oh shit, he definitely knew I was fucked up, he’s going to search me, and I'm going to get caught'.