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I'd like to invite you all to participate.
I will be restrained & each of you in attendance will be given a carving knife to slice off some of me.
A hibachi will be placed nearby & you can then opt to take the flesh-chunk & grill it.
Skewers & paper plates will also be provided, but no napkins or bibs, so you might want to BYOBib.
A mini-sledge concrete hammer will be also be on hand to facilitate the cracking of my skull for the dessert course which will, no doubt, be a welcome treat to any latecomers.
This will be both my first & my last performance piece, but those that are so inclined are welcome to engage in any religious rituals that they deem appropriate for the occasion at the event.
I'll be letting all of you know where & when & hope to see all of you there.