Some nit-picking points (seeing as this is already an entirely preposterous discussion): There are DJs who can and have played acoustically - Otomo Yoshihide and Project Dark being the first two that come to mind. I'd be surprised if Marclay hadn't as well.
Schumann played the piano but ruined his fingers trying to stretch them, hence turning to being solely a composer (in your terms). Linguistically, the point I'm making is that producer, composer, arranger [etc] are all sub-categories of 'musician' rather than the other way around; that you're struggling to make a coherent point suggests that the world doesn't exist in your atomistic linguistic solipsisms.
Edit: More nit-picking -
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Originally Posted by hevusa
Did you know the fingering on a clarinet is basically the same as an alto saxophone? So you could probably play one if you ever picked one up. Fun. (I play alto sax).
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It's not 'basically the same'. It's definitely similar, but the one doesn't immediately transpose to the other. I've picked up an Alto recently and it's very different fingering to my Eb clarinet. The embouchure is very different as well. You can get a sound out of each, certainly, but playing them well is a very different matter.