Bristol
 

This is a companion thread to the New York, Oklahoma City, San Francisco and the London threads.



Come to this city. It's gert nice. - Bristol tourist board

Yokels.

Big tits.

Hot rich girls.

S'aa praahper playce mind. I tells 'ee, I fuckin' loves it yur I does.

Iss gert lush, not gert nice, y'spack.

Cider Apples!

Tramps and drug addicts asking you for money 10 times a day. Repeatedly being asked by the same ones.

Glice do you know that tramp who looks like he's wearing 20 layers of clothing with a big a coat on and the hood always over his head so he looks like a mole? Usually hangs around Park Street/fountains area and St Pauls. And also that guy who is usually hanging around the train station selling big issues. He's asked me for money in a few other places as well.

If he's Irish and on crutches a lot of the time, then yes.

My second-favourite of the vagrants is the scrotey woman who had a tin whistle until about a year ago who'll go round all of the outside tables along King St asking for change in the most annoying of voices. She looks like actual turd. You see her at other times (when she's with her pimp) and she actually scrubs up ok (for a crack head). It always makes me wonder how long it takes her to leave the house looking like shit.

The number 3 position is the aggressive Welsh crack-heads under the bearpit who get really, really aggressive if anyone ignores them (which is everyone)

Oh, and the guy on the bridge by the waterfront with the boxes and sticks who is ABSOLUTELY RUBBISH at drumming. He nearly got belted for having a go at a mate of mine for not giving him money. He's been replaced with much nicer black chap playing the Kora.

My absolute favourite homeless ever is Bear, the street poet - he's a fantastically well-spoken sort who'll recite absolutely reams of poetry at you and then sit and have a natter about Babylonian cuneform [sp?]. He's amazing.

I don't think that's him. The mole guy is pretty aggressive. Nearly started a fight with someone I was with once.

Haven't seen these other ones except the guy who drums the box. The reason you haven't seen him is because he's moved to Queen's Road outside Borders/Sainsbury's. He can't hold a beat for more than a bar of music.

I'd like to meet that poet guy.

I recently saw a guy sitting with some cardboard in front of him saying "broke/homeless". Make up your mind!

You've just reminded me - going back nearly 10 years, there was a chap by @Bristol who would have a sign saying 'I need money for heroin'. He was brilliant, entirely honest about it and people would respect that honesty.

Also, the Liverpudlian chap with dreadlocks selling the big issue on the waterfront was a pretty sharp fella, I remember having a conversation with him about Joyce once. Haven't seen him for yonks.

Unfortunately, I don't tend to rock very close to the centre very often, so I'm probably missing loads of good homelesses.

Now, I bet the other City-based threads aren't having discussions about local homelesses - and that's because Bristol is so very, very cool.

You're wrong go to the L.A. thread. There's a mention of homeless people.

Bristol is the name of just about the cheapest clothes shop you can find in all of Holland. Just saying.

Haha I like that. Does it have anything to with Bristol the city?

Nope, haven't seen that guy either. Tramps reading Joyce, eh. Sounds great.

Once, when I was sitting on one of those benches by the water outside the Arnolfini (the worst art gallery in world) I watched a homeless guy eat some raw chicken. That was nice.

You're right, it is very very cool. In response to symbol guy: but do you have such a variety of homeless and ones that read Joyce?

Isn't Bristol county-less?

I've only seen it from inside the railway station on my way to Somerset.

It's the city and county of Bristol. Some parts of the city aren't within the county though, because it's grown.

There's an exciting black hole of county-responsibility on the edge of long Ashton where North Somerset council and City and County of Bristol argue over not having responsibility for it.

Another Bristol City Council related fact: it took 3 people 2 weeks to try and find someone to remove a dead sheep from a work colleague's garden; in the end it was torched as no-one cared enough to remove it.

say what you like about bristol, but at the end of the day it's a city for white people with dreadlocks.

Fuck me. A white guy with dreads wouldn't last 2 minutes in Hartcliffe, let alone Knowle. Have you only ever been to St Werbergh's or something, y'ponce?

He does have a point though.

i wouldn't even set foot in such a bewhitedreadlocked city