Are you a real Englishman?
 

See poll.

there is no poll

I hereby christen you captain impatient.

I don't believe I am.

Pray for rain...it's our only chance!

ha ha !!!
i picked Pointing Bastard! but i perfer Warnie.

no i'm not a real Englishman, this is because i'm from Ireland, now if you had of asked me in 1916 with a bayonette pointed at my head i would not have answered in irish while you shot my (85th time) pregnant wife against the stack of turf and kindling by my thatched roof cottage. i would of said "let me have one more bite outa my turnip please Mr Cromwell" before i answered "John Smith"

my name is John Smith.

they are all fuckers. we will still do it.

I suppose the question that needs to be asked is, how do you know you're a real Englishman?

I don't know. It's a bit much to ask, but I reckon we can dig in for the next few days. They're not unbeatable. We've done it before - obviously, not for a million years when they're at home, but still. It's just a shame our fielding has been a bit shite.

I voted for 'oh, piss off you insufferable prick', in case anyone's wondering.

i'm a real englishWOman

I hope it pours down for the next three days, like it has never poured before. That way we can head to the second test on level terms and try to pull ourselves together in time.

What we need to do:

Stop going into big occaisions with ready-made excuses
Walk behind Glenn Mcgrath, rolling cricket balls at his feet
Swap wicketkeepers
PLAY MONTY PANASAR

it's raining in B'ham right now.

Hmmm...I'll just check my birth certificate here... it says I'm not... I think I am, though.

149-7...bloody awful. They're going to be over 400 runs behind it would seem. Looks like a heavy innings defeat.

No, I am not an englishman. But it would not be bad to be one, since most of the English I know are okay.

Maybe it's because I don't know any of these types:

they all have such terrible hair cuts in that picture

most typical for an urban chav

that's me at the front with my eyes shut

Ok, we are officially getting raped out there. Fucking bastarding bastarding fucks.

I just watched about 5 minutes of the cricket.

I could feel my will to live slowly leaving me, so I had to stop.

Heretic! Witch! Burn!

Cricket is God. Cricket is love.

whats french cricket then?

If the only other option was watching cricket, happily.

I saw two horrifically pale cricket chumps being interviewed the other day on the news, about some shit. After boxing and darts, it's probably the most depressing sport in Britain,

Lovely use of the word chumps there.

Fine. I AM OFFICIALLY HAVING A SULK AT YOU PEOPLE. Official. Sulk.

I can't hear you. I'm sulking.

McGrath is no bastard, he did his ankle on the ball last summer which helped us no end in winning the Ashes! didnt Ponting call us cheats for using sub fielders or something?

last i checked, no. i've got the teeth for it though.

Mate,aren't you irish or something?Our Mark once said about Morrisey:
'The reason he goes on about his englishness so much is because he's irish.I'm english and it is very wrong for me to fly the flag every 5 minutes etc etc.'

You get my drift.

who is this Mark person?

and theres 2 ss's in Morrissey

E Smmith

good that someone dropped the word cricket halfway down this thread (thanks hip priest) or i wouldn't have had a clue what this is about...

anyway, from what i gathered england are losing so i gues i'll vote you're having it. ya. pommie. bastard.

Morrissey woould kiick thaat druunks asss

can you imagine morrisey playing cricket?

As much as i love both,i'd doubt Morrissey is capable of genius as much as Mr Smith.

yeah but what about in cricket? Mr Marras??? Cricket??? huh???

Who knows?Who cares?I'll do a gladioli pose just for you,Monkey.

done deal.

I've got Irish blood, yeah. But I'm born and raised here. I sometimes play up to the Irish heritage, but I would never say I was properly Irish. That's just silly. It pisses me off quite a bit when (English people) claim to be some other nationality. As far as I'm concerned, my passport says English, and the Irish are shit at cricket, so I'm English.