DYI thread
 

Share tips on how to make 'things' on here.

let's see. i just made the man go get us a slice for a lunch.

i said... hey... are you hungry? and he said ... not really. and i said.. oh okay. he said... i'll go get something if you want. and i said... ok!

English please.

Oh, I meant DIY thread.

Gig tips:

- Colour-code your leads. It saves time on gay arguments.
- You are playing for the promoter. Don't be afraid to be a cunt about this point.
- Be nice to the soundguy, he has your balls in his hands.
- If using pedals, always have a stock of batteries as well as leads.
- If your set falls apart if one of your 42 pedals fails, why not reconsider if they're all necessary?
- For fuck's sake, you're not Kevin Shields, do you really need all those pedals?
- Have consideration for the other bands - does your soundcheck really require all those pedals be tested?
- 2 different phase pedals? Really?
- Take the time to chat to the other bands. If they like you as people, they might not hate your awful music.
- It wasn't that 'the crowd didn't get it'. Your music is shit. Think about that.
- Stage patter: don't announce 'this is our jazz song' unless your 'jazz song' is actually a smidge jazzy. Honestly, I saw 5 hardcore bands all announce they had a 'jazz' song, and there wasn't a 7th within a country mile, let alone a 5/6.
- What did I tell you about those fucking effects pedals? WHAT did I tell you? And now you're claiming that you don't know whose wah that is? For fuck's sake.
- Please think about what you're wearing. You might not give a fuck about your appearance, but it's a big part of being on stage for those of us who are visually inclined.
- Don't turn the guitar up, ask for there to be more in the monitors. If you don't speak soundguy speak, tell him (and it is always him).
- You might think you're led zep, but you'll probably sound like arse if you're pissed.
- Less pedals = good.

I'll think of some more later.

SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED
(shovels and concrete not included)
[bombs are free]

styrofoam + gasoline + incendiary device = fun

chlorine pool tablets + ammonia = mustard gas

jellyfish tentacles + someone else's body = fun

Penis + Vagina = Babies (or STDs)

or just a really good time.

glice wins!

yesterday i played with a band that had so much gear, it took them like an hour and a half just to set up.

I love this: http://www.makezine.com/

I am a maker of things. I'll post some things I make later.

That's awesome.

contact mic
http://home.earthlink.net/~erinys/contactmic.html

Electric string instruments

Now that you have a bow you might as well make something to use your bow on.

Materials: contact mic, nylon string (weed trimmer string works well), wood for body, wood for neck, screws, eye screws for tuners (

 

), metal coat hanger.
1) make contact mic according to the link above.
2) Screw (or attach in any way you see fit) the neck onto the body.
3) Attach your bridge to the desired spot on the body of your instrument. Make it just a little bit taller than the neck.
4) Attach a screw for each string behind the bridge. Tie your string(s) around this screw(s).
5) Sit the contact mic on the other side of the bridge so that the top of it touches the string(s). The pressure of the string should hold it in place, but if not put screws on either side of it to keep it from moving, but don't put too much pressure on the contact mic or it will stop working.

Here's a simple single string instrument I made:

 

6) at the top of the neck (on the bottom side) attach the eye screws to use as tuners. Use the coat hanger wire as a nut. Drill a hole for each string behind the nut and run the strings through it to the bottom side of the neck and tie them to the tuner(s)
Yadayadayada...

Here's a picture of another one...

 

If you want to attach frets wire coat hangers work quite well.
Use this to calculate distance: http://www.windworld.com/tools/fretcalc.htm

sorry if all this doesn't make any sense. I'm too tired and drunk to write proper instructions.

MEGA Kalimba

Make contact mic according to: http://home.earthlink.net/~erinys/contactmic.html

Attach contact mic to piece of wood using tape, glue, clamp, whatever strikes your fancy.

Screw a bunch of crap (bobby pins, cymbals, springs, saw blades, jaw harps, music boxes work well) to your piece of wood. Remember wide and long means low tones, short and thin means high tones. blah blah blafdhlk..

 

 

 

Note how the contact mic is held down with a clamp. This is convenient for adjusting the pressure on the mic (which can seriously alter the tone instrument)...

These are my favorite instruments in the wide world. They both have such a wide spectrum of sound I never get bored of them.

If you're very patient you can even tune them.


Hear my instruments: www.myspace.com/leadsister2

Something I worked on earlier.

First you'll need bread

This can be white, brown or granary, although personally I prefer white.

Pre sliced is fine, but an ucut crusty bloomer is best if available.

If you've gone for the bloomer option use a sharp knife with a serated edge to cut four slices. Ideally about an inch in thickness.

Try not to cut too close to the ends of the loaf, in order to avoid large differences in slice slize.

Spread a thin layer of butter or (if you're working class) 'marg' onto a single side of two of the slices.

You should now cut a block of cheese (mature cheddar is a good option here) into a series of slices, roughly half an inch in thickness.

Arrange these slices onto the two 'butterd' (we call it buttered even if 'marg' has been used) sides of bread. The buttered surface should now be covered with overlapping layers of cheese - to a height of approximately an inch.

The two unbuttered slices of bread should now be spread on one side with a jarredpickle of your choice (Branston is a good option, but others, such as 'Mustard' pickle are fine also)

Place the pickle covered sides of the bread directly so that they make contact with the cheese that you've placed on top of the 'buttered' slices of bread.

You should now have two units of cheese covered on either side by bread.

Place these on top of one another and flatten slightly with a clean palm

Cut diagonally using the same knife used to cut both the bread and the cheese into two.

Seperate the units and place side by side on a large dinner plate

Take to bedroom and place beside computer.

Eat.

Serves one



Flatten the top of

Hat and Bread wins the thread.

Do your own graphic score, using this example as a template (from the Scratch Orchestra's "Treatise":

Glice is right except for the sound guy part, I saw a female sound person once.

No you didn't. Honestly, there are no female soundguys. In the world. Ever.

He's right. It definitely wasn't a sound man. Was probably his wife or girlfriend or mum or something.

i know a few soundgirls.

seconded, glice won the first round because seriously, hour and a half and a three minute soundcheck.

i took all but 5 minutes to unpack, place, plug and power my whole rig and took me less to dismount it. and i made an even bigger racket than them.

I know what I saw, it was at the Breeders (and probably 1/3 of audience was lesbian) and the person working the board was a girl, a very un-girl-looking girl, but a girl none the less.

Oh, to add, at that show, the opening band had all these stuffed animals and toys and shit and christmas lights set up on their amps and as the were packing up they'd have to run back out and grab some toy or light they had forgotten. Only had 2 pedals each, though.

Sock monkeys



http://breezeb.tripod.com/crafts/sockmonkey.html

oh fuck yeah, sock monkeys

I love them.

Currently I'm in the process of making a third, but it's going slow.

I spend probably 6 hours just on the mouth (it's different from the one above, it's going to be a stoner monkey)

send one over here emmah!