Advice Needed
 

It has never been my intention, as long as I've been a member of this board, to ask for help from any of you. I assumed I couldn't be helped.
Momentarily forgetting this assumption, I have another, cliche, boring, incessant question concerning 'girl problems'.
A lady friend of mine, who I've known for some time but until recently have not hung out with, has been 'leading me on' or so I believe. This is where advice is needed.
Earlier she called me and said something along the lines of "oh, the smell of your laundry lingers in my car, sigh of obession (stated paranthetically)". I replied, confused, "Patience heightens passion". Then into what I meant by that, which I modestly beat around the bush. She gave up. I exasperated her. She said call her when I "quit your little tea party (though she said it without contempt and in good humour) and tell me what you mean". Cynicism caused me to hear voices in the background, as if it was all a joke. As it was only a chance to laugh at naive me.
However, this isn't the first time she's said something similar to this.

Go for it? Back off? What does she really mean?
(I have the inclination to go for it, and perhaps I will, whenever I do get over my frustrating modesty)

before i give you inappropriate advice

how old are you?

--
edit: i see 16 from your profile.

so: any true girlfriends in your past, or just friends who are girls?

16.

I'd go for it. At least then you won't regret it like I regret my missed chances.

sorry, please read my edits

No true girlfriends.
No pleasing contact.

Go, go, go!

You are the alternate universe me. Don't miss your chances! You'll regret them terribly and spend all night either devising a time machine or wishing you were dead.

she's asking for you to make your move! go for it!

oh! you're NEW. no wonder.

ok, remember this-- it's the job of the man to push & the job of the girl to pull back. such is the mating dance.

when you tell her "patience heightens passion" you're robbing her of her role. don't do that. it's her job to act coy, if a all. so, go hunter, & stalk your prey!

if you want her, don't be coy. no no no no no! she needs to feel appreciated. wanted. sexy. beautiful.

but anyway, my advice, my silly advice, after years of teenage pain, is: THINK LESS. and shut the fuck up! :D (i say this in a good way).

we know you're nervous, but, get a hold of yourself & take a deep breath & be cool. we know your mind is racing thinking a million thoughts but those are a bunch of horseshit. just take a deep breath, return your mind to your body, and for the love of god pounce when the opportunity presents itself.

think less. i swear. i don't mean become stupid-- i mean ACT.

there's this little game i like to play you just let the woman speak, speak, speak, and you say "uh-huh" and "yeah" and "mmm" and you don't have to to any talking. some times you have to just shut up.

now am i rambling here? suuuuure! but everybody got butterflies the first time around. the 2nd and the 3rd too. you gotta just jump.

in the meantime, read some kissing manuals. dont go & shove your teeth on her lip or headbutt her nose. that can be cute, sure, but won't get you a lot of action. think of this-- she's probably as nervous as you. make her feel at ease.


and lissen to the superkoolgirl #1

Fair advice, though it has come into my mind before. I know thinking is the problem, is my problem. I just don't know how to combat it.
However, it is not possible that she's nervous at all, for various reasons which would be apparent if you knew her.
But, when school's out she's moving to New York to go to college (yeah, she's 18) so if I were to make a fool of myself, the torture would last just as long as her presence.

oh, 18 vs. 16. hm... well maybe you're just her little friend. but if she needs to experiment before she goes to college... do you want to pass the opportunity? :D

then again my fisrt "serious" girlfriend was 18.5 when i was 17. we were awesome together.

but maybe just find yourself a 15 year old who's as nervous as you & you can be nice to each other.

however--

if you really want this other girl you just you just gotta you just you just gotta yes you gotta yes yes yes you gotta try.

deep breath, stop thinking, mouth her.

if she throws a fit, then "oops, sorry, i misread you, ha ha". but if she doesn't... da win!

Act!

I may very well be her 'little friend', however her last dating partner was a year younger than me. She likes 'em young, I suppose.
Really, though, from what I gather, which is another basis for my constant thinking, is that in the senior class she can not find her 'intellectual equal', which is what she's really been seeking. I'm not sure if I fill this shoes are not, hence my constant world play (I work solely in words).

then mouth her
mouth her
mouth her

stop posting on the internet & go see her now. while it's hot. before you overlard your brains w/ crap. go. now.

mouth her
mouth her
mouth her

(ha! that could be a song)

GO!!

Sadly, I somewhat agree with this.

Thinking is bad at this point. Strike while the irons hot, lest ye regret.

SADLY????

it's all for the glory my friend

I only say sadly because the sum up was mouth her and I wanted to express my opinion differently, but I found you hit the nail the on the head with yours.

ha ha true. i was trying to induce a hypnotic trance.

but anyway...




kong! kong! kong!

dude, tap da bitch, bro

Explaining the veiling effect thinking has on instinct I've managed to think (there seem to be holes everywhere).
She's glad anyway.

so???/ did you????

No. She's confined, as of the moment, to impersonal communication. I only called her.
However, I did manage to articulate my desire.

bold move brother!

i applaud you

now when the time comes, remember:

firm, yet gentle hands

do not crush her mouth with yours, you're not trying to give cpr

easy on the tongue: slow does it. veeeery slow.

no slobbering.

and definitely, floss :D

better yet, learn from a woman:

http://www.bossanova.com/weevil/kiss/

best wishes and hereby you receive the medieval slap on the back before the joust

Bossanova? No! Take advice from Cassanova!!

ha ha, i just googled that while composing my post. but i read it and it's sound advice, really. the women of the board can probably vouch for the veracity of that document.

I am not very good with girls, but there is one thing I do know. You have a gut feeling of whether or not to go for a girl. Go with the gut feeling.

If your gut feeling says go for her, go for her. If your gut feeling says stay away, stay away.

Girls can suck you in though, your gut feeling might say stay away, but sometimes they are too appealing and your gut feelings don't matter anymore and you're gonna go for it. It is called lust.

New, satisfying addition from a text message (why? shrug)
It reads (literally): "Wisdom for tomorrow: it's the weekend. Take the plunge."
Not the best grammer, and actually more pertinant if the previous conversation was available to you all, but her idea is pretty obvious.

But now this drama-drenched soap opera is going off the air. I appreciate all advice, but now it's none of your fuckin' business.

aww cute, you're going to get your dick wet

just kidding


edit: go here http://sonicyouth.com/gossip/showthread.php?t=12174

not kidding.

this is so funny in so many levels!!!

getting fucked this weekend!

ill theive this help line

I really want to go to perth and suprise this girl, but going to perth isnt an easy thing to do as its 600km away and it costs money to do this sort of thing..but i really want to suprise her and see how it goes.. what do i do

Text nomad1 to go for it!
Text nomad2 to back out!

Alien, where do you live? I hear you're hiring some drinking buddies.

In W.A , far from you.

In Kalgoorlie drunksville. :P

I wish i could hire drinking buddies, my brother has just gone out with his group of friends to get drunk and have fun and now im just stuck here like every other weekend night.

Wow, WA is huge then. If your 800ks from Perth and still in WA.

600 kms but yeh same shit.

i'd tell her to go fuck off.

this is the sheila i have waiting in perth.. i need to get balls and suprise her



shes being silly here

Very! This thread has filled me with joy.

The road down looks straight, I recommend hitchhiking!

haha yeh shes a babe, have you seen wolf creek?