Need Help With Parody Account
 

https://twitter.com/JimIsabellaWNIR

Idiot host of a popular local talk radio show, target of a failed SYG prank (thanks again, Bytor).




I don't care what Limbaugh or Fox does, because I know Daily Show, etc. will take care of things. But this guy goes unchecked and it's starting to annoy me. He's on the most powerful talk radio station in the area, it's all the stupid end of conservative, and there's no one to make fun of it all.

So I need tweets. A bunch.

By all means, you do NOT have to listen to help out. Just release your inner Colbert.

my first tweet, as an example:

Drivers faster than me are speed-demons, those slower than me are slow-pokes. Get with it dummies. Am I the only one who can drive right?


Yes. Not very good. I agree. Like I said, I need help.

PM, email or post here to amuse everyone.

Fine. I'll make it easier.

Setup:

Dr. says my hatred of Obama is ruining my health.


What's the punchline? I suck at this.

Also, I could use a good one about the Confederate flag.

je suis désolé mon ami, mais je ne suis capable de t'aider parce que je ne connais pas ce con la.

mais quelle connerie! c'est qu'il vous manque ce le contexte, mon vieux. abandonnez-vous le googletranslate.

Merde.

Worst thread ever?

Too bad. Last night the topics were: "It's just a flag. A piece of cloth. Get over it people." And Obama's a racist for using the "n-word."

This guy deserves satire, but unfortunately I'm not all that funny. Best tweet so far:

If I think about Ronald Reagan when I masturbate, is it still a sin?

ha ha ha

it's okay. probably a waste of energy hating a fucker who should just be ignored anyway.

unless you're colbert, and then you can make millions. OR unless he's right in front of you and you can punch him on the no-neck.

seriously, where the fuck is his neck located.

anyway, frank reynolds is a lot more fun to watch

Yeah, but I'm arrogant and have some free time, so I have taken it upon myself to poke fun at a bully. Not the most useless hobby I can think of.


True.



Ha! See, there's a joke there. I'm just not comedic-minded enough to find it. Something like, "How can I be a redneck when I have no neck?" But, y'know, funnier.

right-- if you want to destroy him just do what comes naturally--angry letters to the editor, probably? or hex his colon like vincent gallo threatened to do with ebert.

but don't let him destroy you. well, rage is a prime whiskey, to paraphrase alan dugan. so i see the pleasure.

"i wanted to punch the fucker in the neck, but i had to give up after 20 minutes of looking for it"

badum-tshhhh

I like it. I'll use a variation of that, if you don't mind.

Yes, he pisses me off, but this is more about fun. I plan on calling in tonight, and instead of yelling or pointing out some logic flaw or whatever, I intend to simply ask if he can remember the last time he could see his penis without the aid of a full-length mirror.

Take deep breaths and let it go, evollove. People like this exist because people like you (and others, like symbol-man and I) exist, and in a way, that should help you feel better. It validates our existence and what we believe in.

Beyond that, pay attention to your breath as it slowly leaves your nostrils and imagine extending lovingkindness to all beings, even this particularly hateful being.

Your wisdom and maturity makes me sad.

It makes me sad, too, actually. Oh, to be 51 again.

Opting for the childish route, I've been calling all week. Just little pranks. They aren't funny and he hangs up right away, but what's hilarious is the few minutes he spends after the call. "You're what's wrong with America," etc.

Last night's was a doozy. He now knows my voice, I guess. I got exactly five words out before he hung up. Then came the rant which ended with, "You're not getting famous off me. You wanna get famous? Why not get a gun and shoot yourself?"

Should I contact the authorities?

Guy has 8 tweets.. don't waste your time. Troll bigger fish yo, let this troll live under his very small bridge in peace. His own internal divisions will lead to his own collapse, we don't need to facilitate it any further.. its own inherent inconsistencies and lack of touch with reality will destroy itself.

-Only 8 tweets because I'm not funny. I'm still happy to take suggestions.

-I can't believe no one else sees the humor in this. Yeah, he can piss me off, but he's a foolish figure and a perfectly fine target for comedy.

But man. He told me to kill myself!


Perfect! I need to disguise my voice and use that next time he schools us all on the economy.


Yeah, but I'd like to speed up the process. With humor.

oh wait, that is YOUR account you posted? Post a link to THAT guy's twitter, I will troll battle him for ya ;)

that can very quickly degenerate into a "talk radio" situation. remember that movie, with bogosian/gagosian/whatsisname?
*blam*

okay here's one here's one

-you told me to kill myself

- i did. you're a pinko parasite [or something]

- i'm not going to kill myself. but i think you want to kill yourself

-no i do not, my life is precious and i would never take it

- come on, everybody know you're trying to kill yourself with cheeseburgers. just own it. publicly. commit cheeseburger harakiri one week from now. do it. on the air. if you are a man, as you claim.

maybe i'm invoking too powerful elementals here, but if you wanted this to go viral, and really flood the guy and make his life impossible, you need to post it on 4chan-- at your own risk, of course.

it takes a different sort of language to appeal to such forces though, so i'd suggest you go & watch them operate a bit before doing anything there.

The actual guy isn't on Twitter. I wonder if he's aware of this parody account yet?

By the way, satirizing a public figure: a-okay
Telling someone to kill themselves: actionable

But I'll let it go. Because I'm better than him.


Good movie, but here's what's actually going on.

Andy Kindler, a very funny comic, posted a simple "Hurray" in regards to today's SCOTUS ruling.

"I" wrote: Libtard. Go move to Cuba.

He wrote back: You move first with your 3 followers. Start a commune or a badminton league.

Gold!

And when I call in, it's like when Bart pranks Moe. Bart's calls aren't all that funny, but Moe's reaction is. This guy goes off on me after he's hung up, and it's some insane, funny shit. He's furious and I'm laughing like crazy. I'll put together a compilation.

(This is sort of nuts. I have work to do.)

not anymore you don't

What Is This?

i don't know but that looks like a dildo behind the dog

imagine the atrocities

^^^great catch!

Holy shit! It's him! I'm naming my next cat Bytor.

Your search skills beat mine. I must've seen the dog and moved on without reading the description.

Anyway, I listened tonight. He was weeping. I might lay off for awhile.



Is that what you meant? No need? I wasn't sure.


And what's with this actual tweet?

At emergency room with my son ... nearly hit on his bike by a driver that was twitching so he may been on drugs.

At first this might illicit sympathy. But it was "nearly." And my first guess is dude was twitching because he almost caused an awful accident. PCP would be my second guess. Wonder if the kid's okay? He never really said...

ask him:

WAS YOUR SON TURNED AWAY BECAUSE PREEXISTING CONDITIONS?????


--

i meant getting this guy is your new job-- hence, the "job" is not.

ps- good trick trolling the others. i'd give you pointers for your profile blurb but peru 2 bolivia 0 mang. will post later.

OKAY, so, im briefly back to this.

wtf was he "weeping" about?

maybe it was all bullshit to see if he could game you

crocodile tears

his son went to the ER 23 days ago if i read well (no guarantee-- had a bit of wine)

is he okay no? what were the wharton tiers about?

always remember--hitler cried at the opera

He was weeping about SCOTUS. First show all week he didn't say anything about me.

Fav quote: "America's dead people. It no longer exists." !!!

The theories were amazing:

--John Boehner must be having an affair. Obama found out and is blackmailing him.

--John Roberts adopted some children "illegally." Obama found out and is blackmailing him.

Seriously. I recorded it for proof and posterity.

He announced he's taking a vacation next week. I don't know if this was planned in advance, or if this week's pressures got to him. Since I don't know, I'll assume it's a vast liberal conspiracy.

or a heart attack or sneezing or any number of things

really this guy just found out his son was hit by a driver and is in the emergency ward and he's looking for a way to blame the driver as failing to live up to his conservative ideals and being a dirty hippie drug user.

so this guy is fucking nuts.

pass the popcorn

and he moved you to pity? for that?

fucking shit, you have zero killer instinct and no sense of mission

this wasn't the time to spare him, but to twist the knife, and keep stabbing

give it up, strife is not for you-- return to your life in peace

and erase your posts before google lets him find you here

Funny, I must've realized you were right before I read your post.

I just got done making an audio clip: a baby crying mixed with Robert DeNiro's crazy laugh in Cape Fear. I'm gonna loop it and call in. I may or may not chant the word "loser."

have a girl make the call

that will multiply the humiliation

YES

He was supposed to go on vacation next week, so I was especially eager to call in. I had the clip ready, phone at hand and...he wasn't on. They ran some syndicated moron instead. I assume he started his vacation early. He probably needs one.

he'll probably spend his time bitching and moaning about how gay marriage violates the sanctity of his 4 divorces