I definitely walked straight into a handicapped sign once so hard I had to sit down.

oh i also walked into the doorframe and hit my shoulder on it

i should probably be more careful

i'm over doorknobs. they're responsible for many a sore.

once, drunkenly, i was walking out of my door and faltered a bit. slammed my head on the door frame and laughed my ass off for a solid minute.

And yet still no pain equals that of stepping barefoot onto an upturned plug.

I remember one time I stepped barefoot onto the back wheel of a razor scooter, like that metal thing that you step on to break, and it was hands-down the most painful thing I've ever felt in my life. I don't even know what the fuck happened, like it just hit the muscle the wrong way or...? Didn't break skin or anything. But it actually left a mark for several months.

I can physically throw up if I step barefooted onto something sharp. It's like a reaction that goes straight to my stomach. Feet are such a load of old shit sometimes.

i once stepped barefoot onto a safety pin and the fucker was at least an inch into the bottom of my foot

pulling it out was worse

Yeah. This wasn't even sharp, though, it was just rounded. There must be some kind of insane pressure point right in the center of the foot.

Blunt things are worse than sharp ones when it comes to the soles of your feet. It's equiv of getting wacked around the head with a wardrobe just stepping on a TV remote control!

gymnastics made me so numb as far as foot injuries. even though i was never hardcore into the sport or practiced for more than a year straight.. dear god.

It's definitely true that as a species we should've evolved out of feet by now. Our ankles should've just started spouting disco rollerskates instead. That would be so much less painfull. Quicker too.

and more visually appealing.

But then roller rinks would be so boring. The equivalent of a school track.

and cheaper, because we'd already have shoes, basically. fuckin hell. Doctors are clueless. Instead of cloning poxy sheep they should be creating people with rollerskates instead of feet.

shit, that's true. Fuck. The idea of a roller rink being reduced to a mere pavement is too depressing to bear. back to the drawing board.

would they correspond with skin color, or could we even engineer them as years went on to be whatever color we wanted?

i want to go rollerskating now

i don't rly care if it's only quarter to 6

we'd definitely have to reinvent staircases, I know that much.