No you're not. You racist.

you don't meant it like this, do you?

Beard (companion)

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For other uses, see Beard (disambiguation).

Beard is a slang term describing a person who poses as a false date or romantic partner to mislead others about the nature of a relationship, and possibly about the sexuality of one or both participants.

Positive traits: Lovable, enthusiastic, independent, intelligent, creative, optimistic, strong, assertive, talkative, talented, cheerful, active, eloquent, refined, adventurous, versatile, playful, light-hearted, lively, free-spirit, original, quirky, eccentric, stamina, witty

Negative traits: Anxious, fickle, defiant, tactless, selfish, gullible, inconsistent, quick-tempered, rebellious, changeable, rash, impatient, overly talkative, childish, too-playful, not serious enough, low-attention-span, recklessness, vanity, volatile, blind-in-love

pretty spot on.

at least i don't look like a horse.

everyone looks like an animal and i look like a fish.
but i act like a sloth.

Blind-in-love? I would think you were very guarded.

And how can someone be witty and gullible?

really i only have my guard up with people i don't know very well or don't feel particularly comfortable around, which i think is normal.
i didn't underline gullible because i don't think it applies to me, but being witty means you have to be on top of things, so you're right about that one.

actually (there's scientific evidence to back this up), smart people tend to be more gullible, because their imagination can actually provide an explanation for improbably things-- whereas dunces, incapable of believing anything they can't see (and that includes book learnin') are less prone to believe the unseen. except for jeezus of course, but that's why the indoctrination must occur often and at an early age.

then again horrorscopes & shit like that are meant to snare the gullible.

I didn't mean how can you be, just the Zodiac thing.

But yeah, that makes sense, !@#$%!. Unless you're making that shit up for your own sadistic enjoyment.

horoscopes do not equal astrology

basically a horoscope that you'd read in, say, glamour magazine or some other tripe like that haphazardly predicts what's going to happen to you, and usually they're way off. astrology, however, has been studied for thousands and thousands of years..etc etc etc i'm not getting into it




oh also
i come from a catholic family but i don't really have any religious views at all
probably cause no one ever made me go to church though unless someone died

yeah we all need to "believe" in something. but check this out:

http://quackwatch.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cold_reading

The rainbow ruse

The rainbow ruse is a crafted statement which simultaneously awards the subject with a specific personality trait, as well as the opposite of that trait. With such a phrase, a cold reader can "cover all possibilities" and appear to have made an accurate deduction in the mind of the subject, despite the fact that a rainbow ruse statement is vague and contradictory. This technique is used since personality traits are not quantifiable, and also because nearly everybody has experienced both sides of a particular emotion at some time in their lives.
Statements of this type might include:

• "Most of the time you are positive and cheerful, but there has been a time in the past where you were very upset."
• "You are a very kind and considerate person, but when somebody does something to break your trust, you feel deep-seated anger."
• "I would say that you are mostly shy and quiet, but when the mood strikes you, you can easily become the center of attention."

A cold reader can choose from a variety of personality traits, think of its opposite, and then bind the two together in a phrase, vaguely linked by factors such as mood, time, or potential.

---

http://www.randi.org/

haha, i had to

i'm the one with the monocle (ie the original O RLY owl)
and you are the angry owl with the tophat

Rainbow ruse = fortune cookies.

you can add "in bed" to the end of every fortune
which makes some of them really funny


god, i ought to be sent back to 7th grade or something

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance in bed.

Hahaha. Nice.

The fortune cookie I got yesterday, though, said, "Great joy will come with the return of a good friend." One of my closest friends just got back from a month in Europe today. Fuckin' weird.

"you will hold the reins of something incredible"- in bed! best fortune i ever got.

i think i've eaten a few fortunes accidentally

That is no fun. I've done that before. I'm pretty sure it's bad luck of some sort.

and it double sucks before I save my fortunes and put them on mixtapes I make.

i ahve to say though, for some time i was living in some shitty environs, and i got this fortune cookie that said that i would move to a nice new house within a year.

i kept that bitch and taped it to my computer monitor. and sure enough i moved in oh six months or so?

but then i was not happy about the town, so i kept the fortune taped to the monitor & blam, in exactly a year (my lease ended), i moved again to a bigger/better house in bigger/better town (what one could call a "small city").

since i'm pretty happy staying put for a while (moving can be a bitch), i took down the fortune, got a new monitor, etc.

now, of course i don't attribute this to the fortune cookie. but it's fun shit no doubt to get psychic messages from random places.

for some, anyway--

i haven't eaten a fortune cookie in like 8 yrs

Yeah, I take fortune cookies as impersonal encouragement. Like a self-help book without all the bullshit. All you really need usually is a good "Chin up, you whiny bitch".

remember on the simpsons when woody allen was in the back of the chinese restaurant writing fortunes? haha