saving - saving is not bad

but imo the saving mentality can be partof the problem

unless you earn over 50k or something you will never be able to save enough to just coast.

cos what are you gonna do with savings? thats right, spend it till its gone.

not saying DONT SAVE just that some people have the mentality that its all they need to do or the ideal they should be aiming for, yet said people will never find themselves in a position where they have enough excess to save anything substantial.

better focus on smarter spending on shit that will last you a lifetime and education and skills.

dont get trapped in the mentality of just cutting away at yourself out of some misguided binge/purge guilt trip.

thanks! that looks AMAZING! i'm starting a new house off the grid and that should come very handy.

ps- i looked into your watch. it's the al-qaeda watch! ha ha ha. srsly look @ wikipedia on it. most entertaining.

saving is good! it has many functions. the first one is to stabilize your finances. because your income goes up & down and it's never guaranteed, or your expenses might fluctuate from month to month, savings provide a cushion for those variations so you never run dry.

people today are brainwashed to spend all the money they get. that is the problem. when they have a small emergency or an inconvenience or they just want something they can't afford, they borrow money from someone else.

they borrow from friends and fuck their friendships, they borrow from family and strain the relationships. they borrow from credit cards and get gouged with interest. they borrow from payday loans and get trapped into a downward spiral of debt. they borrow from title loans and lose their vehicles. they borrow from their home equity and get underwater and end up in the street.

borrowing money is the fucking pits.

borrowing money turns you from a worker into a slave.

when you have savings, you borrow from yourself. you owe nobody, nobody owns you or dictates where and how you can use your money. e.g., for some bank loans, the bank needs to approve your loan, tied to a purchase, they can repo, etc.

if you have savings you have choices. you are free to quit a job. you are free to try a business, or pursue education. you are free to say "no." you are free to move to another place. you are no longer hand-to-mouth, fearing that the boss might wake up with a swollen hemorrhoid and fire you on a whim. savings give you power.

saving is only a start though. the goal is to make money work for you, i.e., investing, which basically means: buying a business or a piece of a business. it's the only way to make good use of capitalism. the problem is, the poors are brainwashed into thinking that investing is beyond their means. too hard/too difficult/ too inaccessible. it's a class problem. so the poor blow their money in gambling, "collectibles," drugs, status symbols, and all manner of nonsense, and remain poor, waiting for a miserable social security check when they are old and broken.

if that could change, and the poors dared to save and invest, and didn't get conned in the process, it would amount to a massive social revolution. all businesses would be employee-owned. capitalism would stand up on its head.

the other thing is that as you get older you get more opportunities to make money. if you have the saving habit then it just kicks in and you can build a sizeable stash and get financial independence. everyone makes 8 bucks an hour at the start. as they acquire skills, they get to charge more. but you can't wait to make more money to change your habits-- change them from the start.

saving is a really good habit. it's only the first step but without it the rest doesn't happen.

to call it by a different name: saving is the ability to LIVE BELOW YOUR MEANS. which puts you on a much safer position than the ones who are waiting for the next paycheck to keep the lights on. it makes a MASSIVE difference in how you relate to money-- namely, it makes you the master instead of the other way around.

Moral of story, save what you can, find as many opportunities to make $ as are available based on one's own moral compass, invest wisely, spend smarter, and seek balance.

whoa - lots of wisdom here.

everyone read this.

re- fashionable shit.

you get hooked on this stuff in your youth because your parents/disposable income makes you a target, so everyone hustling makes off you. but when you face the fear and reality of surviving as an adult its time to let go of this stuff.

but it is real fun to buy trinkets and junk and shiny objects as a kid because its beautiful. but this stuff doesnt give you an identity past a certain age.

thats why it becomes very sad to see older people still grasping at some objet petit a through consuming trends. nothing worse than an adult trying to recapture their youth - it never works. there is no contentment to be found in this shit either, unless you are producing it it is not gonna give you much in the way of artistry.

i guess as an adult hyperconformity is a smart move. but more than that, i dress now FOR other peoples perception of my appearance. you get what you need and blend in a lot better looking smart as an adult. the difference in how you are treated is MASSIVE - try wearing a suit.


this is precisely it.

its hard to deal with reality because noones telling you how to live - and people cant handle that because then they'd have to handle the fact there's no need to live at all. freedom is not what most people really want. instead they seem to want to follow a leader at a safe cynical distance, always ready to disavow. getting caught in bad forms of narcissism that are produced by hustlers with designs on your wallet.

and people know deep down that this stupid trivial shit is a waste of their time, but they still pursue it because it seems like an anxiety release valve or an escape from something worse.

also - everything you said about borrowing is so true.

i took a loan of £100 with £14 interest once, because i needed to eat between paycheques. but otherwise i never borrow, its the worst idea of all.

yeah, a friend of mine does payday loans all the time then wonders why she's fucking broke come payday

Payday loans aren't typical borrowing, they are predatory.

that's right. but just because credit cards are a less extreme form of debt than payday or title loans it doesn't mean that they aren't harmful-- they fucking are.

if you carry a balance in your credit card you have compound interest working AGAINST you. if you have savings/investments you have compound interest working FOR you.

as einstein supposedly said, compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe. whether he actually said that or not, this is true. you want that force working FOR you.

but even if you have no debt, if you're just at 0 net worth, you are at risk of getting into debt if you dont have a cushion of savings and some kind of insurance (if you have enough savings, you can always self-insure).

first save up $1K for emergencies, then pay off your credit cards (but don't cut them up, you need them for things like car rentals, etc). start getting some control of your money right away.

don't start paying off the cards without having an e-fund first. because in case of a money gap you'll use the cards and slide that slippery slope again. get used to operate from cash-- i.e., money that is already yours.

credit cards can be useful IF you can pay them off every month-- but if you're carrying a balance, cards are digging a hole under your feet. cards are bad for people who are prone to impulse purchases.

when i buy something these days i don't put it on a payment plan or a 2-year contract, i don't put in on credit, or get a bank loan. i just save up for it and pay with cash. sweet sweet sweet cash. that way i don't have to suffer a financial hangover after i buy what i want-- it's completely mine and there are no obligations and nobody owns me nor can they take it back.

sure we can't control EVERYTHING, but a little financial stability goes a long way towards good sleep. i swear by this.

start saving right now. right-right-right-now. you can do it online (e.g., ally) or you can do it with a credit union or something like that. just make sure it's not the same bank that has your credit cards because if you fall behind the payments they can pay themselves from it without asking you. oh yeah.

ANYWAY once you have your e-fund and pay off your cards you can increase your e-fund to a 3-6 months living expenses. it's so sweet to be AHEAD of your bills.

then at that point and with your current income you can start a roth IRA which grows tax-free and since you're young compound interest will work FOR you and all you will need in it at that point is an index fund like vanguard which simply tracks the stock market and beats most investors. but you can worry about that later. start getting some control now!


and yet they are legal. probably because they claim territory previously occupied by loan sharks. debtors will debt. a sucka with no cash will do anything to find it SOMEWHERE. might as well be from a legal outfit.

but regardless-- with ANY debt, your lender OWNS you. fuck debt!

i thought the butts were free.

wtf happened with the vape?

anyway don't worry about it anymore. you have your vape. don't get stuck on the horror and move forward.

oh, i understand!

well now that you have the vape maybe you can start working again? like DB explained before. that was a good post.

if understood your brother correctly-- he might have a point that if quitting smoking becomes all-consuming other areas will suffer.

you could work while you vape--no?

anyway i must sleep. best wishes getting your house in order!

i wish I could even do ally. I owe bank of America two grand and chase a grand.

you can totally pay it off/get rid of it, the first step is to stop adding more debt to it.

EYE SWEAH.

The latest ramblings....


I knew you were there somewhere
with...that's OK
Yes.
God DAMMNIT!
So she's going to...no! That's what happened
An extra space
Oh! She's a sicky-baby!
Ooooohhh, that's authentic
that's interesting
her....
that's interesting
Ha! Isn't that...
There it is!
Allright, so that one's done
Yes!
Marilyn is too good
She sent, OK...let's see, whenever I...
I really was in the middle of something
It's not Jason's that's here on campus, it's Murphy's right? right...

Rob, you need to go full KG or Colin Crapernick.. here what you want yo

since this appears unavoidable... what would be a cool mental kung-fu (for real, i'm not fucking with you, this is 100% in earnest) is if you start paying attention to what your mind does when she says those things. that way you're no longer watching her, but watching inside your head. and then see what happens.

I say if you can't beat em joim em, become equally distracting and annoying in instigator ways

I say if you can't beat em joim em, become equally distracting and annoying in instigator ways

So...my girlfriend and I can get pretty rough with each other...and no not in aggressive ways...but like....err.....romantically.....and she's into a lot of things.....ANYWAYS.....I think one of her friends at school thinks I beat her. She's studying ASL to become an interpreter...and she's taking a theatre class and they're doing a play for a deaf event. They're going to do Little Shop of Horrors and she actually got the lead(Audrey) and a friend, who is deaf, of hers saw some bruises on her wrists and her chest(ok they weren't ALL me...she REALLY IS clumsy)...so he made a comment along the lines of, 'looks like you're taking your part seriously'. then not too long after....he just straight up asks her if I beat her. People who are deaf tend to be REALLY straightforward and extremely honest. Like...they have no problem talking about WHATEVER(her aunt who is deaf was straight up talking to me about sex at the kitchen table...like super descriptive too not just a mention or whatever...it was a little awkward)! so....his comment was not just a joke or something...he was completely serious wiht that question. And now she is telling me he's acting all weird around her after I met him at a improv comedy show we saw last week.

and then I thought...wow. maybe demonrail was onto something.

Dude, we all told you to be careful with that yo, for realz

i don't think i did. did i? not me. can't recall.


if he's blunt as you said then just counter with bluntness-- i'm not battered i'm just kinky mind your own fucking business perv /end


what was he on to? i seem to have missed something. could you please point to a post? i'm curious.

ha ha yes srsly i'm curious-- not trying to fuck with you or anything.

I didn't see it either, but I only went back a page....?

EVOLGHOST - maybe deaf dude is hot for your girl?

Why is everybody mad at that dude for being concerned? Girl comes to school with visible bruises im gonna call her man out too yo! Its funny, every body wanted to crucify ray rice until its your friend that maybe victim of abuse, then its "they should mind their business?"

My two cents, if a person, girl or guy, has visible injuries its moved beyond just kinky. Im not accusimg EVOL of anything btw, rather letting him know the line is thin and he should be very careful towhen tap dancing on it like the Temptations

???

yes


why must you pollute the good?

i guess you're an example of what joaquín and his girl have to watch out for-- the rigid mind, the judgment without knowledge

====

ebolgoats - i was thinking last night after i wrote that some people can't handle different.

e.g. the guy who found out sje's kinky and not battered might be now more weirded out than ever

sometimes it pays to pass for normal-- even though it makes for an inauthentic public life. e.g. how gay people used to be forced to live closeted.

but a little camouflage can go a long way in some situations where a threat is best avoided.

best wishes to you & your girl don't let the prudes ruin your fun. maybe there are books out there on how to deal with squares, or maybe write to dan savage about what to do, ha ha-- no seriously. i like dan savage.

if you are bruising your woman you are doing it wrong.

!@#$! Now you're judging me as a prude?

I ain't judging nothing yo. Just kicking facts. A) the dude at the girl's school has every right to be concerned he doesn't know what is going on but he sees a girl with bruises. If EVERY person who saw a girl with bruises asked about it shit there might not be so many abused women..

B) i ain't got no moral issues with they're doing but the risk is real so personally id advise against it all moral assumptions aside. What is the risk? Firstly that her friends or family don't know what is going on and will either make it difficult for the couple or worse get the law involved. Or coworkers or schoolmates will do the same, and "we're just kinkyb doesn't always turn away Office Fuck That Shit.. in CA at least if a cop sees visible injuries he can arrest people and file DV charges no questions asked.

So again, my warning has shit to do with moral judgment rather advising about the real risks. Hate to see our friend ostracized by his folks or worse in jail over some kinky shit

I'd ask what kind of childhood trauma causes a reaction in someone that makes them prefer sexualized pain and suffering.

There is that too but "it ain't my business" and i ain't asking..

"My name is Paul and this shit is between y'all"

not if she likes it you're not. it's not like he's giving her a black eye, is he?


of course, you know you are. own it.

i get your concerns, that this might invite misunderstanding and social trouble-- i do get that.

but the issue is not to stop having fun-- the issue is how to keep the oglers from ogling and the busybodies from interfering.

see for example-- marijuana smoking is illegal. but you'll be the first one to recommend it. even though it can get people in trouble, jail, extortion, who knows what else, you can't stop recommending it. and i think you're even against legalization.

and what they're doing is not even illegal-- they're two consenting adults, there's no law against what they do.

as you would say "you're showing your bias". pro-illegal-weed, anti-legal-sex.

be concerned instead with the social aspect of keeping an alternative lifestyle of sorts rather than trying to scare them. e.g. "wear long sleeves, kids".

the solution to all that is maybe to get famous instead:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/0..._n_449321.html


that's some cheap psychoanalysis. i really don't think they're waterboarding each other! are they?

a little adrenaline goes a long way.

you know people stand in line for hours to get on a rollercoaster, yes?

rollercoasters are the illusion of danger and pain.

actually hurting someone willingly during sex, for the purpose of making the sex better? That is not something that just happens. In my 42 years I have yet to find someone who engages in "risky" sex (bruising, degradation, painful insertions, extreme bondage, sadism, random sex with strangers) that does not do so to either mask, justify, hide, repress, or compartmentalize prior trauma. When this is the only way for someone to get sexual satisfaction? EVEN MORE SO.


what consensual adults do in the sex act, as long as it is mutually agreed, is none of my business, but that does not mean that the impetus behind such sex acts is drawn purely from sexual fun.

Ask around.

What is hilarious is you couldn't be further from the truth, but you love projecting so i will leave you with yourself .


I think you THINK you get it, but I'm not sure you really "get it"

The issue much more complex than that but hey, i know, its rare for you to totally have no idea what you are talking about so maybe you're not sure what to actually say then..

More projecting i see? I'm not necessarily against what their doing so much as expressing my sincere concerns.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Rob Instigator again

a lot of rough sex play is just the illusion of danger and pain-- nobody gets actually harmed.

and in my own experience the people with trauma are very afraid of risky-anything. they flip out at the first flashback.

so there you go, neither your experience nor mine are universal

i get that there are pathological extremes, i do, but i'm not asking goatbols for details of his sex life to judge it under a microscope.

AND there is no such thing as "purely from sexual fun." that would imply that sexual fun is some kind of ethereal thing like anges tickling each other's wings, with no earthly connection.

sexual tastes vary wildly and we don't need a bedroom police. next we're going to be discussing "unnatural" sex practices.

This is really none of our business aside from simply warning our friend to be careful and cautious. A lot of "fun" things and "fun" people unfortunately can also totally wreck lives.. hence warnings of heeding caution. That is all i have to add, as you said, they iz grown so i will let them take care of themselves but i try to at least warn my friends when they are getting into risky situations.

Oh yeah, and bedroom police are perfectly reasonable some people fuck children and others rape people so just because "they think its fun" doesn't make it ok no matter how much Foucault you read yo ;)

fine, but i NEVER hear you tell people to be cautious when it comes to illegal weed. if you were equally fair with all risky situations i'd say "there's mr. suchfriends the prudent" but in fact your risk assessment is biased.


who is fucking children now?!?!??! this is like godwin's law w/ internet discussions and nazism.

now all sex that is not [missionary/hetero/vanilla/for reproductive purposes] instantly evokes child rape.

great job, internet! :rolleyes:

(ps- foucault is un-fucking-readable, much less in bad translations)

Actually ive told plenty of people to be cautious about weed, evol included, but thanks for playing.

Also you're projecting again, i didn't intend to connect s&m with rape molesting rather to refute your blanket statement that we don't need bedroom police and that because people enjoy certain things ots none of our business where as some people clearly enjoy things that are very much our business.

Now again, what evol does is his business but i would be more cautious if i was him. Life gets wrecked in an instant