Unborn child. What's it like in there?

Pookie,

Should I worry about the fact that I've recently been abducted by aliens who put some sort of implant in my brain that controls my thoughts?

Regards,
Porkmarras

PS - I must go now, I'm supposed to be annihilating the entire human race this afternoon.

Inspired by your name and your question, some jokes for the children of board members:

Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because they have smelly feet!

What kind of public transport do bees go on?
A double decker buzz.

Dear pookie,

Do you usually pick your nose while reading these threads?

Best regards,
Jico

Are they making you ask that question?

ps - could you wait until I've finished my mocha before you annihilate the human race. Thanks

It's asking questions like that, that's got you so much negative rep. Cheeky scamp.

Dear Pookie,

I sometimes am required to say some quite serious things. I very often want to laugh, and one time I did a little fart whilst talking to the president of Zimbabwe. Is this normal?

Yours,

Trevor 'Trev-core' McDonald.

Dear Pookie,
My abductors refuse to bum me every now and then.Is this right for them to do that?

Regards

A tied up pork

Yes, it's normal to say serious things.
Yes, it's normal to laugh.
Yes, it's normal to fart.
Yes, it's normal to talk to the president of Zimbabwe.

You like to get your money's worth, don't you?


They've tied you up but refuse to bum you? There's a name for people like that.

Dear Pookie,

Living in the womb of Courtney Love is horrifying.Should I abort myself or live in this druggy womb?

Sincerly,
Drug Induced Child of Despicable People.

You think you're badly off? You should see her from the outside.

dear spooky,

you must spread your butt(er) all over someone else's toast before spreading it all over spooky's again.

love,
X______________

Nothing beats butt(er)ed toast. Thank you.

pookie,

im hungry

This thread is called ASK Pookie.

How am I supposed to reply to random statements?

dear spookie:

your words of wisdom are needed, someone stole my cheese sandwich at work and i would like to get, as the saying in the street goes, 'medieval on their asses'; so which harry potter movie should i watch to learn a spell to cast on my aggressors?

mortimer byron sutch
glasgow

Dear Pookie,
Why only smelly tories seem to fancy me?

Kind Regards

Boo Boo if i was you.

Norwich

dear pookie,

i want it with a lady who is already attached. advice please?

david ambrose, chiswick.

My dear Pookie,

I'm gonna dodge the eastend streets in my drag worst.Save me?

Sinitta

Bow

dear spookie:

i'm feeling a little peckish, what's the most defenseless animal i can hunt for brunch?

ted nugent
the motor city (detroit)