dear pookie & associates

thank you for your support. i shall continue with my explorations & devotions, despite the gratuitous wedgies i now receive daily from my former "friends". i know my martyrdom will be rewarded some day in the future.

yours forever,

A.R.T.F.A.G.

Skinny in this context, comes from skin, ie 'formed from skin' or 'being characterized by skin', as in Shakespeare's Macbeth: "Each at once her choppie finger laying upon her skinnie lips".

Hope that helps.

dear pookie,

if a married woman has an affair with you and then breaks it off but continues to make fun of you would you take revenge? and how would you do it?

richard the XIIII, las vegas

Dear Pookie,

In all seriousness is oral sex cheating?

Sincerly,
Deluded man.

Dear Pookie, Isn't this person^ annoying? He's a world of warcraft fan which annoys me to hell.

I presumed he was just you.

Yes I would:

http://www.prankplace.com/revengetp.htm

Do you mean, is having oral sex with somebody other than your partner cheating? Or is oral sex cheating, ie it's not real sex?

The answer to both is yes.

A question mark I cannot see,
A statement is no use to me.
If you want my use an an oracle,
You need to be less oratorical.

Milk, no sugar thanks.

conyo! i get "depresiji" but that's that!

dear pookie,

are you a fox hunting tory?

micheal rothburyshire, crewe.

Dear Pookie,

Why does my stomach hurt?

sincerly,
Acid-boy.

Dear Pookie,

Why do my legs feel so tired?

Kind regards,
Me.

Did anybody do this thing at school:

How do you pronounce this:

Ghac (I can't remember the exact one, so I've made my own up.)

Rep for the first correct answer.


Wrong two.


http://www.poopreport.com/Doctor/Kno...mach_pain.html


They're getting the rest of your body ready for the big 40.

Have you read that book?

All that begatting, whoring, sodomy,...in my bookshop we keep it with all the other porn.

Dear Pookie,

Here at Alpha Bravo HQ atop Mt. Doom (which, funnily enough, is a volcano), I am having trouble integrating my new recruits with the veteran special-ops team. The older members of Alpha Bravo seem to be reacting quite negatively to having new colleagues. Why, just this morning, I caught Agent X lurking in the air vents above one of the new recruit's rooms. I found he was carrying quite a dangerous weapon (which for national security's sake I cannot describe). To teach him a lesson, I had him chained to a wall in the lava room. This was only a short term solution, however- what lasting solutions do you suggest to ease this apprehension?

Sincerely,
Number One,
Alpha Bravo Team.

Integrating new team members is always a difficult one. But I've used the following method many times, with great success:

Gather all of your team together, and use a game show format during the meeting. Before the meeting, ask the new recruits to list their top 20 favourite ways to kill an enemy combatant. Each of these index cards is thrown into a hat.

During the meeting, the game show “Host” (pick someone with a great sense of humour!) will bring up the new recruits and ask for volunteer contestants from the "audience". The host will create two teams of contestants with about four people per team. The rest of the veteran ops-team is the “studio audience”.

Here’s how the game works: the host draws a method of killing from the hat and reads it to the first team of contestants. They have to guess which new recruit matches the fact. If they guess correctly, they get one point. If they miss, the other team of contestants gets a chance to guess. If they are right, they get a point. If wrong, the method of dispatch can be practiced on them. Keep alternating teams for as many facts as you wish, or until all the team are dead. The winning team can win a prize.

Besides getting a lot of laughs, the whole room will learn a lot about the new recruits and it should stimulate a lot of stories and ongoing conversation long after the game is over.

Hope that helps Number One.

Oh and keep up the good work.

finally. the secret location is mine.

Not necessarily. How do you know which Mt. Doom I am talking about? Mt. Doom, WY, or the Mt. Doom in North Korea? Either way, we are prepared for your visit.

Dear Pookie,

Which Mt. Doom hides the Alpha Bravo HQ and how many H-Bombs will it take to crack it?

Evilly Yours,

Floatingretardedly the Merciless




who says that I will be visiting?

Xenu can take it from here.

Men, prepare the 'lemonade'.

dear spookie:

a hip-hopera about liberace, wack or bomb?

50 cent.

dear spookie,

i'm hungry, is there a meal you can have that can suck your testicles back into your body?

dominick aguirre
east l.a.

dear spookie,

i have perhaps found the most obiquious path to communicate my approval or denial of a certain long playing record by discovering the quaint yet truthful mathematical expression of doing so in said fashion, it being the number of it compared to the masterful and unmatched sophomore full lenght album by athens, ga's prodigal sons after the proverbial r.e.m., neutral milk hotel, divided by the numerical expression of the value in square miles of ironic moustaches. said formula would be the keys to valhalla musical journalism via a paid occupation at the jealous-inducing offices at pitchfork media and would enable me to humilate every kind of music i am not familiar with since it most likely is not good because of this understanding.

that said, i have been observing an alarming increase over the internet to not follow the dogmatic teachings of said portal and have been second guessing about the coolness of said job. my doubt, as it is, refers to my motivation for the job, should i 'go for it' as ignorant people say or should i apply a work application over at spin?

kindly and sincere to you,

tommy smith
miami, florida.

dear spookie:

do you know what i'm going to ask next?

pete masterson
madison, wi.

Answer pending. In the meantime, reminded me of this joke:

A blind man walks into a shop with his guide dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the lead and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

Dear Pookie,

Are you available for pantomime?

Regards,
Sir Cameron macintosh

Dear Pookie,

I don't know what to ask you. Do you have any suggestions?

Yours truly,
Emperor of what was once a planet, Pluto, Albert Gainsburg

Ooh, you should see my magic lamp. You've never seen such a big one...


We should destone him, with a rarely-used gadget I have on my penknife.


Ask me what sort of horse I would advise you buy. And when I've replied, say, "Don't you mean Palomino?"

Dear Pookie,

Is it true that you play violin in a toddlers' orchestra?

Yours questioningly,
PC Thugg, Woking constabulary.

Yes, they call me Fiddler on the Youth.

And sometimes I combine my violin playing with a dance routine, and then they call me, Fiddler on the Hoof.

flawless execution.

however, it doesn't diminish my disappointment at your lack of willingness to divulge Mt. Doom's location. :mad:

fear the wrath of Xenu!

It's the Mt. Doom in Slough.

Dear Pookie,

Are you looking for a fight?

All the best,
Chris Youbank

Pookie, what shall i do?
read
play games
post here
play guitar
watch tv
do nothing

many thanks!

as a gesture of gratitude, I would like to warn you to move at least 80 km away from the Berkshire Volcano in order to avoid 3rd degree thermal-radiation burns.

thanks again!

:)

Dear Pookie,

It has been suggested to me that it would enhance my bedtime activities if I was to smother my manhood in honey and ask my lady friend to lick it off.

Should I use clear honey or the other stuff?

from
Inexperienced of Gosport

dear pookie,

why?

stewart, drigg.

As my grandmother used to say:

Set makes you wet
Clear's for queers