Eh. Fleet Foxes and Father John Misty are both obscenely overrated, but they've done nothing to deserve a name mash-up or comparison of any kind with Mumford & Sons. Mumford & Sons is/are(?) (I genuinely don't know or care in this case ... not an actual guy and his sons, but also not a singular noun) SHIT. Just deliberately off-putting, both musically and aesthetically, far as I can tell. If the OC was still on, their music wouldn't be youthful enough to make the soundtrack.

I also don't think they're very representative of contemporary pop music of any kind. But what the fuck do I know about that, really? Not a lot. Did you know Train has a new album out? Fucking Train! They were a blip on the radar of repulsively mundane filth when I was, like, 18! How the he'll are they still making new music that ANYONE cares about or wants to buy?

Wanna know what Train's new album is called?

a girl a bottle a boat

...

!!!!!!! ???????????

Yup. a girl a bottle a boat, all in lowercase with no punctuation. Can you fucking believe that?! What the fuck does that even mean?! It's like wearing a sign that says, "I'm so boring that your life will shorten if you look at me," while standing in a ghost town wearing cargo pants. OFFENSIVELY shit. OFFENSIVE!

Guess what's on the cover? A girl on a boat. Probably with a bottle in her hand, I don't know, I didn't notice the details because my brain pulled me away from that miserable image after about a nanosecond.

Ok, am I a bad rap fan because I REALLY want to see this?

ALL EYEZ ON ME -- trailer HD (YouTube)

I'm looking forward to it as well. I hope it'll be a good one.

Looks good huh?

I never saw Notorious, actually (yeah, I know... you'd think I'd have been there on opening day, especially with how into BIG I was back then and in the '90s) but I guess the dude who played Big is reprising his role, which leads to some continuity issues, but whatever. Shared universe biopics!

That guy they cast as Tupac sometimes looks uncannily like Pac himself, other times looks goddamn NOTHING the fuck like him.

In Seinfeld-speak, he's a two-face.

Jerry: "Like the Batman villain?"
George: (exasperated) "If that helps you."

so the privileged son of a career politician won Grammy's for Hip Hop and thanked god over and over again as if god gave a fuck about some whiny short bitch rappin an entire album about how the record labels thought his music was shit and how he is now an "independent" artist and standing up for "indie" artists. hahaha what a fucking silver-spoon-in-his-fucking-mouth JOKE. he won a Grammy for a goddamn jingle

That's not even a little bit fair. I don't think he should have won either, and yeah he kinda grosses me out with his gratuitous sweetness, but Chance is alright.

hahahahahha who gives a shit about fairness when it comes to pop culture snark? hahahahahahha

It is tough to see 23 year olds never take hats off because their male pattern baldness would wither away their sex-appeal.....

I agree. As a 25 year old man who's balding myself I think it's much more attractive to embrace it than to have a stupid hat permanently attached to your head.

Chance stealing Curtis' look

Bob the Builder, Super Mario and Andre 3000 come to mind when I look at him. Heh.

http://chanceraps.com/2017-spring-tour-vip

You can now get to play paper, rock, scissors with Chance for $75..

New Future album is out. Self-titled, 17 tracks, no features.

Huh? Studio album of mixtape?

I had no idea this was happening. Absolutely no idea. And that's funny because I read music sites daily.

God damn that guy is dropping a fuck ton of music. Really, compared to the Pushas and the Kanyes, who sprinkle us with feature for years in between albums, Future drops a new album at least once a year.

If only ANY of it could be REALLY good. That would be sweet. Like, Honest was a good album, and his mixtape trilogy had some great moments, but he's never put out anything that was REALLY good.

I'm not sure if it's a mixtape or an album, but it's ok. Doesn't touch Honest, or the mixtape trilogy, or even DS2..

I found a YouTuber with roughly Future's level of energy to explain why Future wears masks. While wearing a mask.

Lazy guy with cat on Future

^ I like this guy though. There's just something about him. Even though he's just lying down and droning into the camera like a stoned doofus, I feel like I could watch more of his deadpan musings.

Is this the effect Future has on the small pocket of music fans who actually really like him? Or is it just the cat in the video that's holding my attention?

EDITED TO ADD: It's the cat. That cat is fucking adorable. Looks a lot like my cat, who has been hanging out with me for 11 years, keeping me sane. I love my cat, man.

Where are you hearing it? It's not on Apple Music or iTunes (yet... still listed as a pre-order with a release date of Feb. 17.)

I guess this confirms that it's an album though. iTunes is selling that shit, so it's a retail mixtape at least. Not a "traditional" mixtape like 56 nights/Beast Mode/Monster.

A few thoughts:

1. Future and Migos make a fine double-bill without adding stupid ass Tory Lanez. Even Kodak Black, who I like, will make the show painfully long and monotonous (THREE mumblers and a Drake clone with less personality than Drake????) I don't understand the need for such a massive bill. If I went, I'd go for Kodak, leave or take a nap for Tory, and come back in time to see one or two Migos tracks before watching 1/2 of Future's set TOPS. But I don't have to worry about it because I'm not going anywhere near this.

2. Why the fuck are Young Thug and A$AP Ferg mini-fonted like that? Thug is arguably the biggest name in the entire bill! Terrible promotional work, that. Advertisements should be printed up for each of the different potential shows. If I was working PR for this shit, I would make posters for the boring Future/Migos/Kodak/Tory shows, and call that the "Nobody's Safe" tour (SPOILER: everyone is safe, unless falling asleep and wasting money constitute "danger")...
THEN I'd make a separate poster for the shows with Thugger and Ferg. Like, HOLY SHIT, FUTURE+THUGGER ARE COMING UP YOUR ASS!! (Special guest: A$AP Ferg). Because that's a legitimately big-top show right there.
...
If those shows with the (SNAKE EMOJI) and the (PRAYING HANDS EMOJI) are going to feature Future, Migos, Tory, Kodak, Thug AND Ferg, that's straight up terrifying. I can't imagine sitting through that much tepid crap in one evening. And I don't like Thug, but I actually think he'd put on a good show, and I think his star is even more on the rise than it has been in recent years, so WHY is he subjecting himself to this shit? He should be touring with the Flaming Lips or something.

Actually... Flaming Lips + Young Thug would be a pretty fucking interesting combo. I'd see that. Not a bad idea, Severian!

3. THIS POSTER WAS MADE USING THE "PAGES" APP FOR MAC OS/iOS.
Yep. It was. Not even a premium or professional version. This thing was made on someone's MacBook or iPhone or iPad. Probably took about 10 minutes.

Just thought I'd point that out. I could make this exact poster for without putting my phone down.

As someone who works in print media, this is pretty motherfucking sad. Remember when your posters were mini woks of art? Hand drawn or prepared by professional artists using complicated digital art programs? Or, perhaps better yet, when they were photocopied collages assembled by members of a band using exacto-knives, glue, whatever room was available in the van, and maybe a 24-hour Kinko's?

Fuck this poster with its goddamn emojis.

Doesn't even touch DS2?!

Wow.

It's difficult to imagine how something could be so disappointing and uninspired that it "doesn't touch" the high water mark of disappointing anti-inspiration set by the modern king of disappointment and anti-inspiration.

For the record, Rob thinks Future is a genius.

Think about some of our past conversations about hip-hop, and what Rob has taken issue with, and let that sink in.

Rob Instigator thinks fucking Future is a "genius".

...

Sorry Rob, but you knew what you were doing when you said that ;)