NO SHIT

when are you due in california?

i want a house in florida, an SUV and a wife called Taylor.

we can all agree with that.

america's dick.

hitler knew what it meant to be a jew

90% of all dads are rad

1 2 3 5 6

Well, well I been movin' down to Florida.
And I'm gonna bowl me a perfect game.
Well I'm gonna cut off my leg down in Florida, child.
And I'm gonna dance one-legged off in the rain.
Now, they say that Sidney Poitier was a blind man.
And they say that LBJ was a Soviet Jew.
When I go down Florida Way,
They're ain't no kind of sexual healing that I would not, could not, should
Not do, stick it right here.
Well I been movin' down to Florida.
I'm gonna potty train the chairman Mao.
I'm gonna make the governor write my doodoo a letter, child.
And I'm gonna grind me up a White Castle side out of India's sacred cow.
Well, I been movin' down Florida Way,
And I'm gonna build me the atomic bomb.
Well, I'm gonna hold time hostage down in Florida, child.
Ain't nobody, said ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do. Right here.
By this time I guess you've figured out about Florida.
Drink the muddy water in the Vaseline stain.
They be makin' tadpoles the size of Americans down in Florida.
That be tellin' Julio Iglesias what to sing, now.
Now, whoever said that Sidney Poitier was a blind man,
Knew the same of Elvis Presley, too.
When I go down Florida Way,
Ain't nobody, said ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do. Right here.
Well I been goin' down to Florida.
Pole cats lie naked in the Seminole sin.
When I go down Florida Way,
Like Vince, I wanna' win.
Well I went down to Florida.
I got away.
I took the children down to Florida.
I stuck the dick down the drain.
Get that boy down to Florida.
Give him a switch blade.
Tell him what to do.

I've just been reading the drinks thread, and I thought I'd dump the following here:

- American beer is categorically shit. This is not my 'opinion', this is a fact masquerading as netoric. Obviously, real ales/ microbreweries don't count.
- Anyone cought putting coke into a half-decent whisk(e)y needs to stick to WKD blues and other kids' drinks.
- Bourbon just doesn't cut it.
- Neither does ice in whisk(e)y.
- I discriminate against lager drinkers (except Eastern-European lagers).
- Sweet whites or spritzers are an immediate sign of either a slattern or a ropey divorcee.
- "I don't like Timothy Taylor". Seriously?
- Cider is, was, and ever shall be the drink of violent bumpkins. There is no amount of re-branding something as a refreshing thing over ice that will dissuade me of the opinion that, eventually, everyone drinking cider will turn into either Adge Cutler or a rapist.

Ha ha, I went on the Anheuser-Busch tour while in Saint Louis.

It was mostly all about how much shit beer they produce and their new sexy packaging. Also they skimped on the post-tour boozing though I didn't mind because it was all shit.

What cider are you talking about? I generally drink either Strongbow (not a particularly good cider if it's served in the pub) or Magners, both fairly weak drinks compared to certain beers or spirits. I never felt like raping anyone in both instances. Also, all those flavoured ciders are nice, and not all that strong at all. Obviously if you are talking about that really cheap stuff they sell in your local shop it's a different story (White Ace etc).

if florida is america's dick, isn't it the one getting sucked as opposed to the one sucking?

sometimes you just can't help it, especially when the whisky itself is shit

I drink strongbow at the cigar bar I go to.

pics or it didn't happen

- Dance parties are almost always obnoxious
- College can actually occtationally be mind-expanding
- Livejournal used to be cool (or at least relatively interesting)
- Starbucks has some tasty products
- The New York City creative arts scene is overrated
- The DC metro sucks

I agree with everything except the your view of bourbon and ice in a whiskey. True, if you have a nice scotch one should have the discerning taste to not put ice in it, same with a fine bourbon.

Glice, what are the ''best'' (maybe i should say most expensive) bourbons you have drank?

It may be a hassle to seek these out, but if you happen to see any of these at your liquor shop or pub, think about purchasing a taste:
Four Roses Small batch
Blantons
Woodford Reserve
Bookers
Knob Creek
Bulleit

try telling my girlfriend that...

I agree. Nobody should put ice with a fine whiskey but it's sort of necessary with a mediocre one. Also, there are indeed some really great bourbons. The only one I've tried on your list is Knob Creek, which i really liked. Another one i really like though is Old Charter. And while I'm at it, people can sneer all they like but there really are few nicer drinks than a JD and coke.

harry potter can eat a bag of dicks

Although I agree with the beginning of the Churchill quote, "“It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried," I am not convinced of the exception.

That's not to say I'm a libertarian. I distrust that, as well.

Being wonderfully pleasant and agreeable isn't sexy to hot women. That's how waiters or doormen behave, and I've never seen a woman leave with one of those. But only an idiot would think the solution is to do the exact opposite and act like an asshole. If you meet a woman, act rude to her, and if she sleeps with you, expect an emotional breakdown several minutes later and 75 voicemails after you finally get the crazy bitch and her daddy issues out of your home. Lonely masturbation wins over that any day, even if someone catches you.

^ amen