Sometimes I feel like I’m living in a Larry David sketch. This really happened to me yesterday.
Situation: Offered a ride from a coworker, let’s call him Duke, to go to somebody’s retirement lunch, only to find out there’s no room in his car.
Set-up: Duke mentions he can give me a ride in his truck to lunch. On the way to the parking lot he mentions that, oh yeah, he also offered a female coworker, let’s call her Stephanie, a ride. “Somebody can sit in the middle,” Duke says. “Fine,” I say, “the more the merrier.”
Development: We stop by the office of the lovely and young Stephanie and she joins us in our walk out the building, into the pouring rain, and across the parking lot, all three of us engaged in polite banter. We get to the pick-up truck and Stephanie opens the cab door, and it’s a two-seater with a panel in the middle. “Climb in!” Duke says. Stephanie and he climb in and I’m standing in the rain with Duke looking at me quizzically as if he’s wondering why I’m not climbing in. “Uh, there doesn’t appear to be room, Duke,” I say. He sort of shrugs his shoulders and smiles good-naturedly but doesn’t say anything, and Stephanie is turning a little red and shrugging her shoulders at me. “That’s OK, I’ve got my car,” I say, the rain pouring down on my bare head. “Are you sure?” Duke asks. Pregnant pause, me looking at the panel in the middle where evidently I’m expected to sit. “I’m sure, it’s all right,” I say. “OK,” Duke says, “see you there.”
Naturally we all see one another at the lunch thing. I think of several things to say but don’t. Here’s where the script breaks down. In a real Larry David show I’m sure Larry would have several smart-ass things to say. I keep quiet.
Also, there’s never any other mention of it when we see each other at work.
OK, where are Larry David’s script writers?
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