Not if you know what's good for you.

Evidently, but I'll be a little bit more bitter than before...and bald...and my paunch has grown somewhat...and my joints creak...and I've starting reading Q...

Thanks for the info.

Lack of imagination.

Dear Pookie...

what do you think about monarchies?

Monarchy's what?

dear pookie,

the babies walking and talking and asking who his dad is. when are you coming home?

emelda smess, chiswick.

Just lie to it, the way you lied to me, you deceitful whore.

monarchies, sorry.

what do you think about monarchies?

Dear Pookie

I just dropped my lunch on the floor. I've scooped it all back into my lunch box, but before I decide whether to eat it or not, I need to know, how much dirt is too much?

Clumsy Oaf,
Fridgelockistan

Good for subversives. The pomp and ceremony undermine respect for power.

Dear pookie,
Due to some considerable health and mental issues i don't feel like saying/posting much anymore.It is been very nice interacting with you all this time.

Regards

porkmarras

Depends what kind of dirt it is. To quote Donald Rumsfeld:

"As we know, there are known knowns. There is dirt we know we know.
We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say there is some dirt we do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns. The dirt we don't know we don't know."

I don't think there's anything I can add to that.

Dear Pookie,

What is it with you, eh? Why do you keep quoting other people in your answers? Do you have no wisdom of your own to dispense? You're nothing but a faker, aren't you? Why don't you go back to daytime TV where you belong? Eh? Eh?

Kind regards,
William Spiff-Williams JP

?

Dear Pookie,

My wife has been slipping pills in my food for quite some time. I just act like I don't notice it, and eat around them, but I think I may have accidentally swallowed one just now. What could it be?

Worried in Wyoming.

As Confucious said:
"By three methods we may learn wisdom:
First, by reflection, which is noblest;
Second, by imitation, which is easiest;
and third by experience, which is the bitterest"


"There is no poison on earth more potent, nor half so deadly, as a partial truth mixed with passion."

So try to take a look at the box and if the ingredients don't include partial truth and passion, you should be ok.

Why haven't you answered anymore?

Love obssed fanatic of Van Gogh.

You have inadvertantly uncovered the root of the problem. If only I'd answered when he called out for help...

Pissed & Pregnant,

This reminds me of the birth of a friend's twins. She had recently split up with her boyfriend and decided to let her none too bright brother name the children.

"So what have you decided?" she asked him after the birth.
"The girl I'll call Denise", he said.
"That's a lovely name. And the boy?".
"Denephew".

I hope this provides some comfort in your time of trouble.

Badump-bump.
"I'll be here all week, folks!"

Take my wife...

...please.

Pardon my laziness and intrusion as I am far beyond reading the context of these posts, but regardless, I wanted to take this moment to ask pookie how Seth and the rest of the family are doing?

That's far too sensible a question for this thread, so I've resurrected the sonic children thread.

dear pookie,

i want your wife. lovely soft face.

leonard salt, milton keynes.

dear pookie,
are you glad this thread is back?

Dear Pookie,

How do you keep your skin so smooth at your advanced age?

All the best,
Mavis

Pookie, please help.

I have lost all direction in my life.

Petronella Dachshund

Dear Pookie
why did you neg rep me?

I am very emotional about reps.

You need the "Plead with Pookie" thread. He only answers questions in ths one.

Dear Creepy Crappy,

Pookie is currently indisposed, but in view of the potentially life-threatening situation in which you find yourself, I have been called upon to answer in his absence.

You should on no account "attempt a bit of DIY". Electricity is very dangerous, and not to be played with. You should instead wait patiently for a qualified person to come and rectify the situation, and while you wait you should try to make do with what little light is available to you and write a list of jokes that seem suitable to the occasion.

Regards,
Pookie's self-appointed deputy

Dear Pookie,

I have no control over my hands. Sometimes I find myself in lessons thinking about effects pedals, then I look at the screen of my computer and find that my hands have logged onto my account on a messageboard and have posted something totally pointless in my name. I have a doctorate in economics, and I find it very distressing that my hands are misrepresenting me in this way.

I have considered cutting my hands off so that they cannot do this any more, but they are operating as a team and neither of them will do the deed.

Please help me. What should I do?

youre right there.

Are you going to answer these questions, Pookie? There are people suffering trauma here, you know. And Sarramkrop is still sitting in a semi-darkened room.

No, but I feel obliged to answer. I just can't stop myself.

Virgin's blood, one cup after every meal.

My bad mood + you making a foolish comment = neg rep. Sorry k-b :o .

Dear Pookie,

Where do you find virgins in Basingstoke?

Yours inquisitively,
Mavis

I presume that because any idiot can change a lightbulb, you must have what they call, the raging horn for the electrician. To avoid mess, I'd wait for him before attempting to "DIY".

I'm sorry, by the time I get to the end of your post, I've forgotten what you said at the beginning.