you can't handle it then

how the fuck did I get here? way too many newcastles got me spinnin.. 'bumpin to walls as I pause addicted to the fast life..'

I was supposed to be checkin my email 4 work and yet here I am..

sippn another screwdriver even tho i swore i wasnt drinking til at least mid-week. should take more then one day off at a time. but it numbs and feels damn good.

im gonna be baked all day......

wow, okay, i'm an idiot. i got way too drunk and fucked up last night. completely blacked out, lost all my shit, got stopped by the cops, been throwing up all day blah blah blah...all while visiting my mom who already assumes i'm an alcoholic. i wound up in the police station today reporting my lost ID and threw up all over the floor due to my hangover nausea.


anyway, i won't be on this thread much because i'm going to do the whole 28 days without alcohol thing.

^ I'm certainly not an alcoholic, however my mom still worries sick because when I lived at home I was a total fuck up. I used to swallow my shit loads of medications with vodka, which would make me act drunkenly psychotic. However, now every body is worried and I feel the need to prove that I am independent and responsible.

i'm fucked up

our lives are parallel

about a year ago i was visiting home and my mom and aunt ganged up on me, "i know you're doing drugs, your pupils are pinned, blah blah blah"

they were right, but still. gtfo my life.

oh and also my aunt (same aunt) and i are friends on facebook (not anymore) so based upon what she sees on there which she likes to take out of context and blow out of proportion she decided to call up the whole family and tell them i'm a drug addict and a drunk which thoroughly freaked my grandma out who then called my mother crying who then called me and i got an earful. FUCK YOU. mind your own fucking business, i am an adult, i can take care of myself, i haven't lived with my parent/s since i was 15 years old.

my parents are well aware that I drink. they don't have room to worry about me anyway, they met and got married in an alcoholics anonymous hall. my dad attended NA for years.

me and my mom are on the same side now, we hate my aunt.


my dad is my favorite. he doesn't say shit.

Yeah, I've been trying to look at it that way. Honestly, my mom is amazing. She actually took the day off work today to be with me. It wound up being kinda nice and we actually bonded and had some much needed honest talk. I usually try to avoid hearing any mention of the fucked up things I did to myself in middle and high school because it's really painful to listen to. I was seriously a huge wreck. I think that I was able to get the point across that I'm actually pretty stable and that this was just a glitch.

Oh and about my family - my relatives are nuts. My problems cannot even become close to comparing.

Drinking pumpkin ale.
Just ate a handful of Lortabs.

Gonna chill for a bit, smoke some menthol cigarettes, do some 'cid mixed with dxm, and light up a fat fucking blunt.

daaaaamn boo!

wooooord

okay, it's been two days since my blacked out drunken encounter w the cops and i'm STILL feeling fucked up. wtf???

by doing what they want you to do?

^ No, but at least proving my own ability to stay sober makes the point that I am actually able to function as a human being. Drinking just falls into that trap.

Oh well.

I'm done with this for now.

hi, i'm high

just ate itt

I'm just hoping for your sake your not gonna waste your time on here when tripping?