No way! I'd accept maybe someone from Burnley (Tarkowski?) but has Kompany even played more than 50% of the season?

he would have chosen any non-argentinian lololol

hoffenheim punking rb leipzig hard this morning. 3-0 at halftime!

was gonna watch bayern but they had all their subs on the pitch.

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and: man u vs spurs tomorrow on fa cup game. thoughts?

Man U are pretty much guaranteed 2nd in the Prem so can relax a bit in the league and go full on with the FA Cup. Spurs, while currently 4th, still need to secure that CL place, but pressure is growing on Pochettino to actually win a trophy. Could be a really good game if Mourinho doesn't park his proverbial.

watched a few minutes and looks intense! the crowd going crazy.

but it turns out there’s a dortmund/leverkusen game starting in a few more minutes and they’re next to each other on the table and playing for real stakes (4th place = automatic CL spot).

it’s a sea of yellow in the stands and they’re singing something that sounds like a beer drinking song ha ha ha.

well here we go...

I actually don't know why I read the bbc text feed for games. People are such idiots. Joe Hart supposedly makes one great save and people were writing in (AGAIN) saying "Hope Southgate is watching cos he should be on the plane to Russia!". Fuck me, people don't half have short memories.

schalke-cologne starts in 20’ and it should be quite a little massacre. poor cologne is dead last and too low to climb out of relegation zone. schalke is a solid 2nd and looking to consolidate their position. i’m almost afraid to look, but i kinda have to.

holy shit ended a nervy 2-2, schalke got ahead early 2-0, and cologne did everything to come back and almost flip the tortilla but unfortunately no. keeper’s crying right now. they’re not mathematically dead at this point but thin thin margins.

I watched Man C v Swansea. After weeks of the media deciding Salah's the new Messi, DeBruyne scores a worldy and, according to the BBC, he suddenly deserves tonight's PFA. Both have had great seasons and I'd be happy if either of them get it but to suddenly change position after one great goal is a joke.

Either way, I'll be very surprised if Salah doesn't end up winning it.

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Sooo, no surprises; Salah got it.

i’m writing this post to remind myself (lol) that liverpool-roma is tomorrow and real-bayern on wednesday

TERROR

Can't wait for both games. I hope Liverpool get through and would normally want Real to as well (against Bayern) but, as we've talked about already, a Klopp v Heynckes rematch has an obvious intrigue about it.

Aww yeah tonight tonight.

I actually forgot about it the other day and the Mrs said to me "wanna hang out on Tuesday?" "Yeah sure." Flashforward to yesterday "Shit!" Now I watch all the champions league games with a friend of mine and I didn't want miss it or let him down. So I says to the Mrs "ok, so there's a game on I absolutely refuse to miss. You can come round and watch it but a)you can't gab about anything non-football related and b)you can't ask any silly football related questions". She's accepted but I'm can't see it sticking. In fact I give her ten minutes before she gets her phone out.

To highlight how little she knows about football she once said "I know Everton are playing tonight" "they are" "they're playing against Anfield" Jesus wept.

insert 4 teary-laugh emojis here

what a great game so far

liverpool deserves the lead

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aaaand fantastic 2nd goal.

salah! now i understand what all the noise is about

Liverpool are absolutely storming this. Could easily be 5 up by now. Mane should've had 3 on his own but what more to say about Mo Salah?

dont forget karius. could have been 2-1 right now also w/ that cannon shot

Yeah, Roma looked the better side in the 1st 15mins but Liverpool just grew and grew.

....aaaand we have ourselves a little massacre in the works

Roma's defence look absolutely terrified of Salah

I hope you're all watching rather than having to listen to Robbie Savage's commentary. He needs to be sent to Russia Today or something, its embarressing.