Goat Fuckers

if you fucked a goat but you were a goat but after you fucked the goat you turned into a human would it be wrong to fuck another goat

highly hitable.

Swollen Testicles!
After tripping the light fantastic in Kinshasa, the capital of what was then Zaire, J... returned stateside with a frightening pain in his lower abdomen. In a men's room at McGuire Air Force Base, J... unzipped his jumpsuit to find his scrotum swollen to the size of a peach. No dummy, J... immediately sought treatment from American doctors - the best in the world! - and was nursed back to health with an emergency diet of antibiotics...
But not before his balls had swollen to, in J...'s own words, "the size of softballs."

 

Fear factor = 2.5 (While genital infections are always worrisome, J... was in fact completely cured, and has gone on to get married and start a family). Probability of truth = 84.2% (I have independently verified this story with J... himself, and while some important details, such as the name of the virus, are missing, J... confirmed all of the physical details).





You can turn back if the horror is too much. But then you won't learn about Shrunken Penises!

Shrunken Penises!
While a man with superhumanly large balls might hope to get certain bragging rights, Africa won't let you off so easily. According to Agence France Presse, the Senegalese capital of Dakkar recently erupted in a frenzy of lynchings - mainly of Nigerians who had come to Senegal looking for work.
The foreigners' crimes? Possessing wizard-like powers of physical dissolution. Specifically, one touch from these weird magicians was enough to make a man's penis shrink down to nothing! While a Dakkar psychologist attributed the panic to fear of the Modern World in all its complexity, the lynch mobs were worried about something a lot closer to home!

 

Fear factor = 3 (The penis-shrinkage fear can safely be consigned to the basement of superstition, but fear of lynching is real enough to keep me out of Senegal). Probability of truth = 39.3% (AFP is among the world's most reliable news organizations, but penis-shrinking was one of those suspiciously short-lived stories that make you go "hmmm." There was no followup, and every other news organization that covered the story quoted AFP as its only source).

Who am I?




Where do I come from?
I am Antonin Artaud
and I say this
as I know how to say this
immediatly
you will see my present body
burst into fragments
and remake itself
under ten thousand notorious aspects
a new body
where you will
never

forget me.

new orleans mermaid crew represent

a...

horribly nice

artauds face ...........i can t explain. it reminds me of a drawing in k.a.'s movie
"Luzifer rising"

that picture looks like death itself

Who wouldn't want to go to a funeral looking like Liberace?

__________________

Gosh,you're even bad with pastels you are.

Take it from porky. he would know.

hush yer mouth 'Nine.Not funny nor clever.....hush up!

I wasn't trying to be funny or clever. I was telling the truth.

If you get my drift. Which, knowing you, you probably don't.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Walter Mercado!!!!!

Porky,dear, she was just saying that as you are a fag you'd know about pastels.

just a word of advice... don't rip off my schtick. that schtick is MINE.
my teeth are real sharp.
I had no idea Phil Collins was a fan of Sun Ra.
o, because it's not happening. i thought i'd be able to get you to shut up.

i don't care.

 

I FUCKING WIN/
hahaha, i win.
i think you've had an epiphany
i don't care. you didn't shut up.
no.
I hate to burst your bubble, but...
hilarious. now let's post pictures to drive everyone even further into the void of disgust.
smoke that meth all day, all night
i let one of my friends, who is gay, dye my hair a couple of times. he did a good job.
seeing as glice is always right and so am i, i'm just going to do whatever the fuck i want. and right now i don't feel like it.
maybe for you. i get to tear you to pieces with my teeth.
Nope. Whores get paid.
i was courtney love for halloween once too. i was babydoll courtney because that's how all my clothes are anyway so it's not like i was even wearing a costume
i'm going to make a thread for every time i go out somewhere entitled "what should i wear today"
i hope this doesn't offend you but your parents might be insane.
NO!
this just can't be happening.
make up your goddamn mind.
doesn't he have a little girly voice?
hayden, such a queer
he's so queer, he cannot hear
et cetera
drone, do you moonlight as a cat burglar by chance?
i stand corrected
fear for your life, savage drone
hayden might rape you
fear not, savage drone
looking like chris frantz is not
all that bad, is it?




Thank you for being absolutely unclear and ambiguous the first time around.
I'm glad that I sicken you. That was, after all, my sole intent and purpose.
The voices in my head are telling me to just smile and nod.
see this? this here?
this is me not giving a shit.
that is a fucking disgrace.
we're sorry, but your wit is ineffective. please try again later
just saying.
I did not. You're delusional.
i'm sorry, did i not make myself clear enough?





***********************************************
**************************************
who wouldn't want to go to a funeral looking like liberace?
**************************************
***********************************************

 

pussycunt whore.

The gayest horoscope guy ever.

Wow atari 2600.
Are you really 38 years old?

They are all Cantankerous quotes, so phuckit.

I did add the colors upon subsequent postings.

It's amusing to me that the two quotes which you singled out were the ones that I used at the first and the last of the list.

Thanks for impelling me to sully everything.

Sincerely Yours,

a

holy out in left field much?

and what the fuck is wrong with YOU?

hello, generation eccch.

I wasn't trying to be funny or clever. I was telling the truth.

If you get my drift. Which, knowing you, you probably don't.

fields
 

what's that supposed to mean?

I wasn't insulting you. I was merely stating that it was a little left-fielded to seek out all those quotes. I commend thee actually. I read every last one and laughed my ass off at it's randomness.

Thank you for being absolutely unclear and ambiguous the first time around.