my hatred for these type of 'celebrities' goes beyond just a letter, i wrote a whole damn song that we re-recorded recently!

BRITNEY HILTON (C)
BY: Kegmama

Party like a rockstar
Drinkin’ at the trendy bars
Hollywood’s harlots
Did you get your star yet?

Boulevard of broken dreams
Ignore the childrens screams
Wearin’ no underwear
Oh the disease you share

Silicone, Starbucks, Nightclubs, Tummytucks! (chorus x 2)

Reality you do not know
To you its just a type of show
Rehab is the place you go
For the legal drug flow

Lights flashing you’re all smiles
Lookin’ good for the pedophiles
Top name designer clothes
Bend over strike a pose

Silicone, Starbucks, Nightclubs, Tummytucks! (chorus x 2)

Don’t eat no fucking meat
Bulimia is so last week
Buying things you do not need
Wanting things out of greed

Prescription pills by fake docs
Bling is what you call your rocks
Rollin’ in your Hum-V
Hollywierds the place to be

Silicone, Starbucks, Nightclubs, Tummytucks! (chorus x 2)
--

Not bad Kegmamma I love "Bulimia is so last week"

Dear Jonny Borrell (out of razorlight)

I often walk down the street, and i see alcoholics staggering around outside Asda, gripping both a trolley and their own lapels simultaneously. They trip over the trolley, and their fingers slip from the greasy, unwashed fabric that makes up their jackets.

I often wonder to myself, "What do the manufacturers of cheap spirits think when they drive past these people?"
Jonny, i think you have the key to this pressing question that is at the forefront of our minds in these chillingly austere times. For the purposes of science and medicine, will you, mr Borrell, the next time you hear one of your songs on the radio, tell us how you feel?
Because i suspect you feel the same as the manufacturer of the cheap chemical piss that is slowly dissolving the brains of millions of people; when they drive past the shuddering alcoholics, and when you hear "America" played for the hundredth time on the radio, both of you think to yourselves in the same sadistic tone

"I did that..."

Please consent to having your genitalia rigged up to a cirrhosis powered battery.

an instrumental version of this song would sound much much better.

Dearest Courtney,

Get Eric back and yr band might be ok again.

kthanks,

-s.

Dear Greg Giraldo,

Peace.