diatribe: what one says when one wishes that every member of a certain ethnic group would be killed, but is not partial as to which group.

yclept

a portable electronic device, made by apple computers, that allows the user to shoplift without being caught

umami

umami - Nigerian word meaning "yo mama"

penumbra

your "yclept" was incredible, !@#$%!.

penumbra -- a new product out on the market that both keeps you dry in the rain and helps you take notes.

stoichiometry

stoichiometry - The measure of a person's indifference

metacrostic

are these real words?

as far as i know they are. i've had to look up several of them though.

--edit-- "metacrostic" doesn't exist. but i'll do it anyway.

metacrostic -- the puzzle that comes after the crossword.

effulgent

Effulgent: the measure in which a type of food fills you. E.g. the effulgent of bread is bigger than lettuce's effulgent.

Equerry

Equerry: An 18th century system of procuring a loan whereby one would deposit one's servants at the bank as guarantee.

Ululation

Ululation: rubbing one's nose in one's loved one's armpit.

Marrowfat

Marrowfat: packets of fat that appear on the necks of incredibly lazy people.

turnstile

Turnstile: an Olympian event of bathroom renovation

Abulia

Abulia (pr. Abu-Liar): one who holds people in makeshift prisons without justification.

barometer

barometer: A mythical creature that descends upon taverns in the wee hours of the morning, feeding off the tarnished souls of its intoxicated patrons.

Don't ask where I got that one.

Rictus

Rictus: Traditional, simple musical instrument made from forest floor debris by the gypsy people of Khazakstan

Fresian

Fresian: denoting the nationality of the offspring of the scantily clad women that promote Fresca.

Nugatory

Oh shit, that's not Fresca, that's Fanta. Oh well.

Nugatory: reminiscent of nougat

blithering

Blithering: A fashionable new body piercing located on an unspeakable portion of the female anatomy.

Esculent

Esculent - A french pastry made from snails

dudgeon

dudgeon: any part of the engine of a car that has become worn out

secretion

secretion - Something you hide away

aubade

Secretion: When Secular Ideas are portrayed

donair

donair: a pseud or charlatan; someone who assumes false social graces.

widdershins

widdershins: getting fistfucked by a midget (makes no sence at all)

GADZOOKS

GADZOOKS: Elaborate firework displays traditionally given by English Aristocrats for the benefit of the local peasants.

Protrusion

protrusion: in favor of governmental incursions on people's privacy.

zenzizenzizenzic (yes, it is a word)

zenzizenzizenzic - A Buddhist with a stutter

crwth

crwth -- result of a particularly heinous attack by the elusive vowel bandit.

quidnunc

quidnunc - a type of blunt weapon used by Celtic warriors

Kukri

Kukri-a egyptian term for a angel

Lalie

Lalie - a dishonest lyric

uintaite

uintaite -- question asked of those who have just been introduced to a new band.

rhinotillexomania

rhinotillexomania: the medical term for 'road rage'.

raggamuffin

Raggamuffin - a rastafarian confectionary product.

Spindles

Spindles: a type of confection from Northern England consisting of long thin strands sugar.

foolscap

foolscap: an STD that is prevalent amongst slack-jawed Appalachians

Repugn

Repugn (obsolete): to reward the taxpayer by spending their money wisely.

ephemera

A hallucinogenic suppository

Plenitude

Plenitude: A state of dreamlike bliss, where one feels happy but does not know why.

Bobbins