The art space I used to host parties, exhibit my works and at times loved to hang out at, will be no more before the end of the year. Massive debt, water damage, a new landlord and virtually no revenue during the Corona-year were the final nail in the coffin.

I've known it'll be over soon for some time now, at first they said it'll be over in July next year, then last week they confirmed that it'll be over by the end of 2020 already and they're in a hurry to get money to for the last few payments, so they're able to get funding for whatever place they may or may not find in the future. At first there was too much shit going on, so this kind of slipped into the back of my mind. Then yesterday night it suddenly hit me with full force: Fuck! An absolute institution will be gone in a month's time. I had my ups and downs with that place, but it was always some sort of symbol of the last vestiges of some sort of bohemian lifestyle in an increasingly uniform and gentrified society. And just going there and soaking in the atmosphere felt nice.

They're trying to do a swan-song documentary with old footage and interviews as a promotion for a kickstarter/donation drive to be able to clear the debt now. Think I'll contribute a few old pictures and video footage. But damn.

fuck man. sad news.

just the other day i was watching a documentary about the ottoman siege of vienna and they show those tunnels and i thought of your parties

nevertheless—after mourning, something always comes next

I'm just plain depressed and I don't know how much longer I can take it.

that's worrying.

hello?

Sorry, thanks for worrying. I'm probably going to be okay. I'll be starting DBT group therapy soon and I hope that will help.

ah! yes it will help. it's precisely for that--it helps with previously "untreatable" things. hang in there! when do you start?

Absolutely necessary but soul-crushing reclusiveness
Eroding trust in people
Incompetent politicians further delaying the vaccination progress
Most phone calls being mutually-assured world weariness
Social anxiety exacerbated and put on steroids by a global pandemic that has the world under its heel.

Found out today that my father has passed away.




He had been battling lung cancer for over a year now (at least, he might've had it longer without knowing). For a time it looked like his treatment was working somewhat, but earlier this year, his body suffered a relapse. All the while, the whole Covid-shit was going on. He managed to remain unaffected, fortunately and managed to be vaccinated. The other big C however, made a full return. And he had to make a decision recently: Either undergo chemo-therapy again or be treated with meds. The latter option had no realistic chance of success. So, even though it had taken a toll on him the last time, he decided to do chemo again. Last time I talked with him on the phone, I told him I'm proud of him that he went for that option and is willing to fight. I truly was. Little did I know it would be the last time I ever talked to him. Glad I got the p-word out in some way.


We didn't always completely see eye to eye, but over the last few years I've come to appreciate him more and more. He had, whether I had realized it then or not, informed my world-view in a substantial way. He was the opinionated leftie in a deeply conservative environment. He dared to question things. And through talks with my older sister, it seems like it was in no small part due to him that we weren't constantly exposed to the casually racist and sexist musings of members in the extended family during our formative years. I mean, we were at times, but from what I gather, it could've been a lot more frequent if he hadn't intervened in some way.




And just as both my sister and I were at certain points of our lives (I'd still be if it weren't for Covid), he used to spin at bars - way back in the 70s. I recently saw a picture of a compilation some of his peers had made for a reunion of his then-village-of-residence's disco denizens. So stuff he usually played. I realized that "Wipe Out" by The Surfaris was on there. I used to play that song during my early Goth-themed evenings to emphasize that I do not take myself too seriously and that this was no space for stuckup gatekeepers (also it's a fun song, what can I say?). We never actually talked about that and I had no clue it was one of his staples.


We never talked that much, but over the years I got the feeling that we had a lot more in common than initially expected. He has certainly inspired me in ways I'm only beginning to grasp. But now he's gone. A month before I was due to finally see him again. Shit. Cancer is a fucking asshole.

oh man!

im so sorry antagon :(

I am a bit sad that this forum has turned into a literal ghost town ever since the forums started misbehaving and malfunctioning with no sign of it getting fixed at all.

hulu is showing lollapallooza 2021 and steve aoki is turning knobs and spinning celine fucking dion and all the kids are so fucking basic lolololol. some animations are ok though. but damn, those poor kids...

fuuuuuuuuck! harris cyclery closed in june. i had no fucking idea. i was shopping for parts for a new build and i encountered this message:


---

Harris Cyclery - Store Closing

Our West Newton store will be closing Sunday, June 13th. We are no longer taking internet order.

We, Harris Cyclery of West Newton, Mass., have come to the moment of saying good-bye. We do so with some sadness, but we do also without regrets. For seventy years, this family-owned business has served the bicycle riding community and it has been our pleasure. We’re proud of what our many thousands of loyal customers, both local and online, have allowed us to achieve over that time.

Earning the trust of the buyer and of the service customer in any business can be daunting. But over time, by our activities (school rider safety, police bicycles, raffles and community contributions, and many other engagements) and by word of mouth, we did feel that our reputation for value and integrity was part of the universe of cycling in Boston’s western suburbs and beyond.

For these successes we thank our many, many clients for their trust and support. We are thankful too to the many manufacturers’ representatives who supported us as a smaller business in the trade. And of course, in the years of our operation, there have been many smart, creative, and dedicated employees who contributed to the vision and helped build the reputation of our store.

So it’s hard to say farewell, there are so many memories for us all. But we say keep riding, keep safe. Good bye.

The Harris Cyclery Family

--

this explains why i couldn't find parts there earlier this year.

goddamn... these people are the keepers of the flame that is the sheldon brown website... if you like bicycles and you've never read sheldon brown, you should... while you can?

https://sheldonbrown.com/

yes it's a very old website because the guy died in 2008, but while he lived he wrote some of the best articles about bicycles... the mechanical side of them mostly. he really explained things in depth. then his friend john allen kept updating things.

ok! everything has an end. adiós amigos.

well, shit, we killed this little guy



plus 22 other species

obituaries can be found here at the bottom of the page: https://www.fws.gov/news/ShowNews.cfm?_ID=37017

eg

Ivory-billed woodpecker – Once America’s largest woodpecker, it was listed in 1967 as endangered under the precursor to the ESA, the Endangered Species Preservation Act (ESPA). The last commonly agreed upon sighting of the ivory-billed woodpecker was in April 1944 on the Singer Tract in the Tensas River region of northeast Louisiana. Despite decades of extensive survey efforts throughout the southeastern U.S. and Cuba, it has not been relocated. Primary threats leading to its extinction were the loss of mature forest habitat and collection.

Bachman’s warbler – As early as 1953, Bachman’s warbler was one of the rarest songbirds in North America. When first listed in 1967 as an endangered species under the Endangered Species Preservation Act, the bird had not been seen in the U.S. since 1962. Last documented in Cuba in 1981, there have been no verifiable sightings in that country since then. The loss of mature forest habitat and widespread collection are the primary reasons for its extinction

etc...

-

maybe it's time for nature to take us out? because at this rate...

I had to put my cat down this week :( Had the little kitty for like half my life. Pretty ruined about it

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

o man. i'm so sorry. i've been there. all i can tell you is that one never forgets.

Thanks my friend. It’s not the first time I’ve been through this but it is the first time I’ve done it alone with an animal that was *just* mine, for that goddamn long. Feels like I’m missing part of myself.

Covidiot anti-vaxxers pushing the country on the brink of possibly another extensive lockdown.


An overall atmosphere of mutually assured discontent.


That sinking feeling of people just drifting apart.


Wanting to profess your feelings for someone but feeling incapable due to the uncertain times and having much to work through emotionally before putting yourself out there.


Another death in the family - we weren't close. But it still somewhat adds to the overall atmosphere.

I know what you're talking about.

In Slovakia we have the worst situation in the whole world, based on the ratio of infected vs. population.
On top of that, we only have 46% vaccinated people.
Trust me, it's WAY worse than in Austria, and on top of that, there's no political will for a strong compromise.
We're all screwed.

I know what you're talking about.

In Slovakia we have the worst situation in the whole world, based on the ratio of infected vs. population.
On top of that, we only have 46% vaccinated people.
Trust me, it's WAY worse than in Austria, and on top of that, there's no political will for a strong compromise.
We're all screwed.

Slowdive's drummer has suffered a back injury that's stopped them from travelling to Australia at the last minute...they've postponed headline shows in Adelaide, Perth, and Sydney, but cancelled their festival performances in Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane.

I was meant to see them tomorrow...

that's a pity.


looks like this forum is broke again ...
let's see if it can be fixed

test test test test test

forum is broke again
I can see this post, but not my previous which was in reply to Claire's which is also invisible :confused::confused:




ah there we go, we've got a new page.

furreals?

yup
probably because it's an old thread that didn't have a new post for a while

My new job told me I can't work until after Mother's Day and money is really tight in my household right now and I'm starting college and I have so much trauma to sort out so yeah I have a big pile of shit in front of me!

Small beans compared to some of the issues discussed here, but:


Putting a lot of time, effort and heart into things that ultimately die on the vine. It's been just a bit too much of a pattern as of late.

what happened?

if it's art related, read nassim taleb about living in the antechamber of hope

it's tough...

Mostly art-related, also event-related. It's hard to reach people without aggressively directing attention to everything sometimes, and that is something so antithetical to anything I stand for. I try to adjust my expectations. But that doesn't always make it easier.


And there are things I've been actively working on for a while that, for one reason or another, seem to be stuck in constant limbo.


For instance, I've been trying to form a band with a great friend of mine for about five years now. We have an EP's worth of song concepts by now, but there are always issues with finding other people who will stick around and practice with us regularly or that are a good fit. The situation with prospective drummers has been particularly comical. I get this whole running joke in This Is Spinal Tap so much more now. They constantly spontaneously combust (well, not literally, but they bail out soon, are in too many other projects, have a tough time dealing with the concept that yes, we are a band with vocals, because we play songs, songs that we wrote, with LYRICS, novel concept!).


So, mainly just bitching about things. But in general, I feel like there's less of a platform for certain things than there used to be before. And it's noticeable.

Thanks for the recommendation. Will read into it. And thanks for lending an ear to those ramblings :D

yeah, it's not a "happy" text, but it's not pessimistic either, it just describes the result of network effects in art/literature/music and other markets. from that understanding at least you have a ground from which to get a hold of something.

it also can change your attitude towards the probabilistic nature of things, as opposed to the deterministic one we are taught to believe is the case.

in a way it relates to this as well...

https://youtu.be/36L9cYkHyZM

except taleb talks about math and rubin talks about woo

i believe the math, hahahahaaaa...

I have so much trauma to unpack holy fuck what do i do I hate it here and am tired of life!!!:fuckyou: :fuckyou: :fuckyou: :fuckyou:

I got called 'fat' even though I'm not fat. I'm 5'7'' and weigh 117 lbs, so my BMI is 18.3. I think I'm thin but most people think I look average-sized and healthy rather than skinny and that worries me so I'm starting a diet. I feel conflicted. I want to weigh 100 lbs but I don't want to have a heart attack or some shit as a consequence (I'm a cigarette smoker and exercise a LOT).

You should stop worrying about trivial shit. And try the beer diet. You will not regret a thing

I'm finding that the only good thing in my life rn is oui'd

My really good friend Chris died of lymphoma 2 days ago. This is a gut punch I did not need, but here I am.

That's horrendous. I'm sorry for your loss

My condolences, losing someone suddenly can just upend so much

Wish you solace in this time

My deepest condolences, Misty. :(

goddamn

so sorry :(