Great thread

I worked in a little grocery store a while back. One schizophrenic woman would come in to buy (usually) oranges and cheese.

Schizo: Do you remember me from Star Wars?
Me: No, which character were you?
Schizo: At the end of the movie. The woman with the chainsaw.
Me: Oh yes, of course...
Schizo (Trying to make eye contact, begining to sweat): YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, DO YA?
Me (still avoiding her gaze): No, you were great. That's eight seventy five, please.
Schizo: ONE DAY MY HUSBAND WILL RISE AGAIN! YOU WILL SEE MY FACE HIGH IN THE SKY! YES, JESUS CHRIST, SON OF OUR LORD!

I heard she'd been kicked out of the mall a few times. Apparently she came in with a giant staff once and held it really high as she yelled profanities in German.
The weird thing is, she looks absolutely normal at first glance. Like she could be someone's mom. Or someone's soccer mom.

Or the mom of a soccer ball.

I meet LOADS of nutballs at work. People who are too crazy to have jobs just wander around highstreets all day looking for people to talk to. My job is to talk to people, therefore they always talk to me.

Best one ever was this guy who was all like "there's no point in trying to save the planet because they put a stargate round it to stop the angels escaping after they had bred. When I was your age I went looking for answers, I travelled the world, and I found the answers, I've got evidence for everything, GOOGLE MY NAME"

i wish he'd told me what his name was.

Fantastic thread. I can't think of any story right now though...