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-   -   so, my girlfriend shoved her finger in my butt the other day... (http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/showthread.php?t=10801)

HaydenAsche 02.25.2007 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drrrtyboots
Mars Volta Does!!! Yeah@!!


Can we pretend you never mentioned their name?

Thanks.

drrrtyboots 02.25.2007 10:32 PM

Have you heard that amputuchchereerete shit? MINDBLOWING.

HaydenAsche 02.25.2007 10:38 PM

More like the sound of a fat chick giving a bad blowjob. Terrible.

drrrtyboots 02.25.2007 10:39 PM

I was thinking more of a fat chick giving a bad blowjob to a horse, preferably one with three legs.

HaydenAsche 02.25.2007 10:41 PM

And you find enjoyment in that?

drrrtyboots 02.25.2007 10:42 PM

Note my sarcasm in overcapitalized letters and reference to who again? Right. Exactly. Their music is utter shit that goes on for 10 minutes too long in each and every song.

k-krack 02.25.2007 10:43 PM

Why All The Mars Volta Bashing?!

drrrtyboots 02.25.2007 10:54 PM

cause they suck!!

davenotdead 02.25.2007 11:06 PM

amputechture and their live album suck...the rest is good and bad...

Sonic Youth 37 02.25.2007 11:07 PM

De-loused and Tremulant are great. The rest is just annoying and totally worthless.

demonrail666 02.25.2007 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atsonicpark
what makes a good prog rock song?


The least amount of Prog elements. Or else every Prog cliche going, so at least then you can laugh along to its pompous grandeur safe in the knowledge that you know better.

atsonicpark 02.26.2007 02:43 AM

Haha Mars Volta are the worst band i've ever heard.

nicfit 02.26.2007 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atsonicpark
nNow that I have your attention with this thread, I'll just ask on here instead of starting a new thread.. what makes a good prog rock song?


Its listener's bad taste.

jon boy 02.26.2007 03:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kegmama
^ Haha. I know who you're talking about! Nice ambiguous burn. ;)


Aside from Hipster Junkies post that followed this one, the thread kinda died after. But the first 2 pages especially are the best thing I've read on here in days! Anal topics & Butthole fingers rule. :)


Did you know, that although women can enjoy receptive anal intercourse, or even insertive anal intercourse for that matter, only men have fully developed prostates, also known as "male G-spots" [7], "P-spots" or "A-spots".[8] The prostate is located near men's rectums and is the larger, more fully formed male homologue to the Skene's glands located near women's vaginas.


who is he talking about kegmama?

foxforce5 02.26.2007 06:32 AM

Odd - how anal penetration conversations inevitably veer towards critique of The Mars Volta.

foxforce5 02.26.2007 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jico
wow. amazing! one little finger did all that?

no problem because that it's totally heterosexual. pfff haha. have you called your mom and dad and friends to give them this great news? it's amazing.

now you can ask pork to put his douglas p. dick in your pussy ass.


Hmmm... Nice touch with the italics - great way to convey your sarcasm and bitter loneliness.

porkmarras 02.26.2007 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glice
What, like the Eiffel Tower or the Berlin Wall or something? Racist.

The Berling Wall would only fit up your own arse.

David Bowie

porkmarras 02.26.2007 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpectralJulianIsNotDead
This guy I know said that his girlfriend put a Kruschev action figure up his butt during sex once, and it was awesome.

Have you heard about the guy who blew air into a baloon but he did so up his girlfriend's arse?She levitated with joy.

SynthethicalY 02.26.2007 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kegmama
^ Haha. I know who you're talking about! Nice ambiguous burn. ;)


Aside from Hipster Junkies post that followed this one, the thread kinda died after. But the first 2 pages especially are the best thing I've read on here in days! Anal topics & Butthole fingers rule. :)


Did you know, that although women can enjoy receptive anal intercourse, or even insertive anal intercourse for that matter, only men have fully developed prostates, also known as "male G-spots" [7], "P-spots" or "A-spots".[8] The prostate is located near men's rectums and is the larger, more fully formed male homologue to the Skene's glands located near women's vaginas.


No wonder I like sex.

Rob Instigator 02.26.2007 12:54 PM

ain;t nothing ever getting up my poop chute.

no way jose

jon boy 02.26.2007 01:05 PM

its always the ones who shout the loudest that like it really.

jon boy 02.26.2007 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kegmama
I'M NOT SHOUTING!!! :rolleyes:


hahahaha

whatever you say!

SuchFriendsAreDangerous 02.26.2007 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by demonrail666
The finger up the bum deal huh? Next she'll want you to take off your socks in bed. Be careful. She's up to something.


that shit is funny. but dudes, keep fingers out of your asses! insertion is for chicks man, and inserting is for dudes. when you start to mix that shit up, you wont remember whats up from down anymore man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kegmama

Did you know, that although women can enjoy receptive anal intercourse, or even insertive anal intercourse for that matter, only men have fully developed prostates, also known as "male G-spots" [7], "P-spots" or "A-spots".[8] The prostate is located near men's rectums and is the larger, more fully formed male homologue to the Skene's glands located near women's vaginas.


so?

Rob Instigator 02.26.2007 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kegmama
It's EXIT ONLY, huh Rob?!


I have never seen my own bunghole. I keep it clean as can be. I would imagine it is surrounded by a nimbus of ass hairs.
I don;t want to look at my own butthole, why would I want anyone else to look at it, much less to stick their finger in it and have the underside of their fingernails faintly wafting the odor of the anal paste and ichor and slime that coats the inside walls of the colon for the next few days?

ha!

actually, every year since I have been 25 or so, due to family history of colon cancer being very rampant, the good doctor has had to stick either his fingers or an ultrasound wand up my asshole along with lube jelly, and it is the single most dreaded and uncomfortable few minutes of my entire year.
Seeing as I am 33, that means I have had something going in the "out" door at least 6-7 times.

I can swear that, with all veracity, my cock actually shrunk two thirds it's normal size during these procedures.

having a lady do it to me would recall such discomfort... no way man.

NO WAY!

jon boy 02.26.2007 02:14 PM

my sister is a nurse and once had to deal with a guy who put a coffee jar up his ass and couldnt get it out and eventually smashed causing him to lose half of his bowels.

just remember it should always be decaf ok otherwise you will be awake for a week.

Trasher02 02.26.2007 02:17 PM

Haha is this thread still alive?

noumenal 02.26.2007 02:26 PM

Check out these enema pants:


 


"These self flushing enema pants have a hose at the end of the cock sheath from the front to pee in then they attach via hose to the inflatable pump up insertable butt plug to flush you out. This are a new item and made from European Latex. Great for Watersport Play and of course for the Enema lover. Available in size; small, medium, large, extra-large and 2X."

jon boy 02.26.2007 02:29 PM

whats the difference between european latex and non european latex? there is no punchline here its a real question ok.

noumenal 02.26.2007 02:33 PM

Yeah, I don't know. That's a good question. People make weird decisions when they're trying to sell something. I guess calling it "European" makes it sound special and fancy, like Swiss chocolate or Italian leather or whatever.

screamingskull 02.26.2007 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jon boy
just remember it should always be decaf ok otherwise you will be awake for a week.


ha!

porkmarras 02.27.2007 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuchFriendsAreDangerous
that shit is funny. but dudes, keep fingers out of your asses! insertion is for chicks man, and inserting is for dudes. when you start to mix that shit up, you wont remember whats up from down anymore man.



so?

You really are an idiot,aren't you?

zedius 02.27.2007 03:10 PM

Today I got my butt checked out at the doctors and about 30 seconds after I was bent over with a thing up there my cell phone rang a happy jazz tune :s

Rob Instigator 02.27.2007 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zedius
Today I got my butt checked out at the doctors and about 30 seconds after I was bent over with a thing up there my cell phone rang a happy jazz tune :s


funny! If I laughed while the doc had his shit third knuckle deep I would fart in his face,

Inhuman 02.27.2007 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jon boy
my sister is a nurse and once had to deal with a guy who put a coffee jar up his ass and couldnt get it out and eventually smashed causing him to lose half of his bowels.

just remember it should always be decaf ok otherwise you will be awake for a week.


hahahahaha.

I once had to get a tube up my FRONT end and it was almost the diameter of a pencil. The doctor took his sweet time and I couldn't feel my dick for the rest of the day.

Rob Instigator 02.27.2007 04:17 PM

up the front end is no good.

I hd surgery to remove a cyst that was growing at the base of my cock (inside, where the urethra meets up with the tubes from the bladder and the gonads) and that shit was no fun. Oh but the vicodin haze, I never loved LOVELESS more.

Green_mind 02.27.2007 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inhuman
hahahahaha.

I once had to get a tube up my FRONT end and it was almost the diameter of a pencil. The doctor took his sweet time and I couldn't feel my dick for the rest of the day.


A pencil sized probe up your penis?! Thats inhuman!!

Inhuman 02.27.2007 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green_mind
A pencil sized probe up your penis?! Thats inhuman!!


It was! I thought the surgery would be similar to the examination (which was the size of a spaghetti strip), but it was this red tube with a probing camera inside. I was like "The hell's the tube for?" and he had to fill me bladder up with water. It was gross stuff.

Aw I could imagine how the urethral cyst would suck too Rob. I heard about those and they seem really nasty. Sometimes they even have to go as far as cutting part of the urethra out and joining the ends, I would hate to have one!

Rob Instigator 02.27.2007 05:15 PM

well, I woke up from surgery and the first thought in my head was "check for a catheter" because ina worst case scenario (the one you mentioned) they would have ahd to insert one in me. I pulled up the blanket and saw no catheter, which made me relieved, and then i realized there was TONS OF BLOOD all over my crotch and bed and blankets!!!

freak out!

Washing Machine 02.27.2007 05:49 PM

How did such a wholesome topic as anal sex get on to this?...

Rob Instigator 02.27.2007 05:54 PM

have you ever gone to pee after urethra surgery and had what felt like the world's thickest biggest coagulated blood phlegm loogie get pushed out of your penis by the wall of urine waiting to be released? HOLY FUCK that is the single weirdest horrible feeling I have ever had. it looked worse than it felt tooo, sinking hard to the bottom of the toilet.


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